Trading Faces

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** By wallaceb**
Kim: Mom, you’ve seen my cheer sweater?
Mrs. Dr P: In the drier honey.
Kim: Huh?! Arg!
Tweebs: You didn’t open the drier did you?
Jim: Our Experiments!
Tim: You ruined it!
Tweebs: Mom!
Kim: Arg! Tweebs!
Mrs. Dr. P: Boys what did I tell you? No modifying the major appliances.
Tim: I wouldn’t do that.
Jim: Not without these.
Mr. Dr P: What’s wrong with Kimmie cub? She just raced off like is it the end of the world.
Jim: She must’ve heard the big news.
Mrs. Dr P: No not yet… I… I didn’t get the chance to tell her.
Kim: Late! Eh sorry! The tweebs…this morning…. My clothes… total drama romma.
Monique: Wow girl, chillax. Forget the what and the when, focus on the here and the now.
Ron: Right KP, we seniors don’t sweat the little things.
Kim: Because they are all little things?
Ron: No because we’re big things baby! Hey, Hi, scuse me, seniors.
Monique: I wonder what the senior table special is today?
Rufus: Hu-ha!
Ron: oh-oh la-la! It is bistro day, a soup diseur stuffed by stuff I can’t pronounce and oh! Assorted cheeses!
Rufus: Yay!
Kim: You guys are right, seniors, it’s all good.
Tim: Which way to home room?
Kim: Huh? Home room? What do you mean home room?
Jim: That room you go to before you go to your other classes.
Tim: You’d think a senior would know the basics.
Ron: Try middle school. About 4 miles that way.
Jim: We’re not in middle school anymore.
Tim: We’ve been skipped ahead.
Jim: We’re freshman!
Tim: We’re here!
Kim: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! There is no way you two are freshmen! Hey Amanda, see you in science. It must be a mistake! And I am going to get to the bottom of it! Eh… are we being followed?
Miss Guide: Yes, its okay, I’m with the district. Middleton unified. My card.
Kim: Miss Guide?
Miss Guide: Gid-day dear.
Kim: Eh good day to you.
Miss Guide: Eh let me jot that.
Kim: Jot what?! What is the stinking sitch here?
Tim: Miss Guide is our skip counselor.
Kim: And skip is?
Miss Guide: Superior-Knowledge-and-Intelligence-Placement pilot program. Your brothers tested at high school levels, so they are being enrolled as freshman. I will be observing the transition.
Kim: So this is… really happening?
Miss Guide: Exiting isn’t it!?
Kim: Oh, I can’t begin to describe my feelings.
Miss Guide: hmm-himm.
Kim: It’s bad enough I have to live with them, now I have to learn with them too?!
Ron: Yea… forget my little things advice, start sweating KP!
Kim: Gee, thanks.
Wade: Hey Kim, Ron.
Ron: Wade my could use a sitch. Whatcha got?
Wade: Hit on your website from Britina.
Kim: Britina?
Ron: Super star in need! Boo-yaa! So where do we meet her? Ha? Concert? Club? Private yacht?
Wade: Jail.
Ron: Oh.
Britina: I’m so innocent it’s not funny.
Kim: Britina what are the charges?
Britina: They said I stole change from a safe at the rap party for that reality show “Born to Shop”
Ron: Oh! Born to Shop staring Camille León, arise to a large cat food fortune, social light, quick service restaurant spokes person.
Kim: You’re reading the weekly wonder again aren’t you?
Ron: She’s a news maker, I’m a news taker.
Kim: She’s like the most shallow person on earth.
Ron: Kim, shallow is the new black.
Britina: Like I need to steal? My CD “Hail Britina” went double platinum.
Camille: In yourg way.
Britina: Camille?
Camille: Brit, I came as soon as I heard.
Britina: I called you three days ago.
Camille: Silly, my call back list was epic this week; it’s so hard to be me.
Ron: Oh KP, Camille León!
Kim: And freaky purse pal.
Ron: That would be her at Debutante.
Kim: Oh yea, she goes every where with that hairless thing.
Rufus: Hey! Ho-ho.
Kim: Oh, up… not that I’m judging.
Debutante: purrs
Rufus: Ew!
Camille: Oh this place is so depressing. How do you stand? They wanted me to walk through some gruesome x-ray thingy. I said, “Don’t you know who I am?” A yummy guard guy let me in, get me his digits ok?
Britina: Camille, these are BFF’s from way back. Kim Possible and em... this guy who’s usually with her.
Camille: Kim Possible! I wore your look once for like 5 minutes.
Kim: Nice to meet you too Camille.
Camille: Oh I know.
Kim: What up Wade?
Wade: I’ve uploaded security footage from the crime scene, but it’s fuzzy.
Britina: That’s not me.
Camille: Though that is what you were wearing.
Kim: Britina said she didn’t do it, good enough for me.
Camille: Me too. Of course I have so many friends, they can’t all be good, it’s just math.
Wade: I’ll enhance the footage and get back to you.
Kim: Please and thank you.
Camille: Between you and me
Ron: And this guy.
Camille: With the spot light on me 24/7 some of our circle might be… you know… attention deficit.
Kim: I’m not sure I know what you mean.
Ron: I’m sure I don’t
Camille: Uh, suspects? There’s Starlet, her last three movies thanked. Holstein Twins, they dropped to number three on the world’s richest kids list, they may be desperate. And MC Honey things must be bad I heard she flew commercial.
Kim: Hey, we know MC Honey.
Camille: Whatevs. I’m just saying, they’ll all be at the reality show awards tonight if you want to come and do that thing you do.
Britina: I can’t believe I’m missing it. They have the best goodie bags.
Ron: ah, the goodie bag, you know once I scored dinosaur stickers and a ring that’s also a whistle!
Camille: Try $30,000 of designer bling.
Kim: We’ll be there.
Camille: Popin.
Announcer: And the winner for the craziest reality show is… Job Swap.
Guy: 34. 52. clear!
Ron: Camille’s circle is in the house.
Kim: I don’t see MC Honey. Maybe she’s in the green room.
Ron: Eh excuse me is this the green room?
Kim: Hi MC.
MC: Kim Possible! Long time GF.
Ron: A nacho cheese fountain.
Kim: I’m sorry this is more business than pleasure.
Rufus: Wo-ho!! Cheese!
Kim: For me at least.
MC: Britina?
Kim: You heard?
MC: Hmm, first cover shot the girl racked up in a long long.
Guy: Yo! The goodie bags have been jacked!
MC: Uh-hu! Not the goodie bags!
Kim: Come on Ron!
Ron: Oh, I’m busy!
Kim: Diggity Z, did you see who did it?
Z: The world saw it. She ran across the stage. MC Honey straight up!
MC: Say what!?
Kim: But I was with her the whole time.
Z: Yo! The goodie bags have been jacked!
MC: This is messed up, I did not jack the goodie bags! Alite
Wade: Um, it looks kinda bad.
Kim: I know Wade, but I’m telling you MC Honey was with us. It couldn’t have been her.
Wade: Then get ready for this.
Ron: Um does Britina have a good lawyer? Eh you know like a really good one?
Kim: This is so not adding Wade.
Jim: Maybe you have a shape shifter on your hands.
Tim: Yea just like Magma Mike in Creator Raiders.
Jim: Mike fooled everyone by morphing into his half sister Piroclastic Flow.
Kim: So sorry, you must be this tall to ride. Now don’t you have some freshman class calling you?
Barkin: Possible.
Kim and Jim and Tim: Here.
Kim: Not my class.
Barkin: Three possible in the same statistics class, what’s the probability? It’s not a joke people, it’s a pop quiz.
Kim: I know this. The probability of any event A is… um let me see now… um.
Tweebs: Got it Mr. Barkin.
Barkin: Possible squared go.
Jim: The probability of even A.
Tim: Is determined by divining the number of ways A can occur.
Jim: By the total number of ways anything can occur.
Barkin: Correct, now give me an example.
Tim: The probability of our sister taking less than 40 minutes in bathroom every morning…
Jim: Zero.
Tim: She sings in the shower.
Kim: Tim!
Jim: And finished her homework on the….
Kim: Jim!
Miss Guide: They’re very bright aren’t they!?
Kim: A couple of little geniuses.
Monique: So the tweebs showed you up in class? What’s the big?
Ron: Yea I get shown up on every mission we go on. You don’t hear me wining. I could wine more. A lot more.
Kim: Can we forget about the tweebs? Let’s just enjoy lunch at the senior table.
Ron: Ah the senior table.
Kim: Hmm I think I’ll have the tuna Tar-Tar today.
Monique: Rotisserie chicken for me.
Ron: I’m going to try this Matricide thing, sounds delushilousy French.
Kim: The senior table, it’s gone!
Ron: Why?!!! Oh.
Barkin: Suck it up people. The senior lunch budget has been reassigned to the skip program.
Kim: The skip program?
Miss Guide: I don’t work for free.
Monique: We are so not friends with this.
Ron: Oh, it’s not fair.
Barkin: and is it fair that the polar ice caps are melting? You take life’s little ups and downs Stoppable!
Ron: Oh, Rufus got fitted today.
Rufus: ahh…
Monique: But if there’s no senior table…
Kim: That means its back to….
Ron: Mystery Meat! Noo!
Barkin: Listen up cafeterians. In compliance with district guidelines we have been ordered to divulge the contents of mystery meat.
Film: Mystery meat, from the slaughter house to your house.
Ron: I knew there were snouts.
Monique: I have never seen anything more horrible.
Kim: I have. The tweebs… with Bonnie.
Bonnie: You guys tell the funniest stories.
Jim: And then when we were on your trip to Yosemite.
Kim: Ah! No! Not the poison oak story!
Miss Guide: Isn’t it wonderful that they are making friends so quickly.
Bonnie: Ha-ha-ha. That is so modifying. You two should write a book.
Jim: We would never do that.
Tim: Eh… too old school…. We’ll put it on our blog!
Miss Guide: Pretend I’m not even here.
Kim: How about I pretend I’m not here instead.
Wade: These thefts get weirder Kim. Looks like Britina was in two places at the same time.
Kim: Twin sisters?
Wade: Nope, I checked, only child. And get this.
Kim: Hmm, both of them, two places at once. Freaky for sure.
Jim: Wade, did you run a background on Camille?
Tim: Since she is the common denominator.
Kim: You have your own?!
Jim: Jim and Tim unicators. Hey make your own!
Ron: Wow, lighter, sleeker, and it plays toons!
Rufus: Cool!
Kim: Whatever, so did you dif up any dirt on Camille?
Wade: Well, it hasn’t hit the check out lines yet, but the Weekly Wonder is about to run a story on Camille being disinherited.
Ron: Really? No more daddies’ fundage.
Tim: So Camille is the one who needs money.
Kim: Shh! Height limit!
Wade: Camille’s signing her autobiography at the world’s richest mall in Beverly Hills today. Sounds like a recon op.
Jim: We’re on it!
Kim: So not! There is no way you two are going to the mall with us.
Mr. Dr P: Actually honey, taking Jim and Tim with you sounds like a swell idea.
Mrs. Dr P: Sounds better than babysitting at home while your father and I are out.
Kim: Babysitting? They’re old enough to be in high school, but not old enough to stay home by themselves?
Mr. Dr P: Not without vaporizing the garage.
Kim: Eh Wade, ETA on that ride to Beverly Hills.
Wade: Typhoon grounded your ride. And I am having trouble making other arrangements, it’s a bank holiday.
Kim: Hm, great.
Tweebs: Hik-a-bick-a-boo?
Jim: Thanks for the ride Mr. Sinclair.
Sinclair: Oh it’s the least I could do after you tutored my Kenny in calculus.
Tim: Derivatives of inverse functions.
Jim: So not the drama.
Kim: Can you not!
Tim: You can use Hick-a-bic-a-boo.
Kim: Ehch! Why would I?
Jim: To be cool.
Kim: I am cool!
Ron: Ah, the world’s richiest mall. 35 floors of popin’ shoppin’ and did you know there is a diamond elevator sporting a 500 K light bulb? Eh… blew some cash here when I was a millionaire. Good times, good times. Hey, where are the tweebs?
Kim: I gave them twenty bucks and dropped them off at the arcade.
Ron: Kim, twenty bucks at this arcade gets you 5 minutes at some busted old pin ball machine.
Kim: Um, well… where else would they go?
Jim: Page 172, this summer Camille visited a Dr. Beaufox. Hick-a-bic-a-boo? Beaufox plastic surgeons… unlicensed… rouge!
Tweebs: Hoo-sha!
Kim: Keep and eye out for Camille, there’s still a couple of minutes before the book signing. Country Club Banana! The flag ship store!
Ron: Hey go drop some bills KP, I’ll start the Leone hunt.
Kim: Are you kidding? You have to pass a credit check just to get in the door. I don’t even have credit.
Guy: Welcome to Country Club Banana.
Kim: Game on. Camille?
Camille: Kim Possible. And…
Ron: This guy!
Kim: Hey, I wonder if you could do me a favor?
Camille: Oh, I don’t do make over’s, and I am kinda in a rush.
Kim: Well that’s funny because there’s this pair of socks at CCB that I’ve saved up for and since I’m not a zillionaires like you, they won’t even let me in. but you I am sure could pass the credit check.
Camille: Uh, yea, duh! But I can’t be seen buying socks, ew! Socks are gross!
Ron: Socks are gross?
Kim: Ron, she can’t go in, disinherited?
Ron: I mean my socks are gross but what does that even mean?
Security: The elevators been robbed!
Ron: That is one empty diamond light bulb socket. It’s Starlet!
Kim: Another friend of Camille’s?
Ron: That girl is running with a bad crowd. But you have to admit, the camera loved them.
Kim: I think you’re on to something.
Ron: Oh, I know I am! What?!
Kim: There’s a camera at every theft.
Ron: Rookie mistake. I mean a smart thief wouldn’t get caught on tape.
Kim: But a really smart thief would see to it that some one else gets caught. Britina, MC Honey, and now Starlet.
Ron: All hanging in the hip new hot spot… prison.
Kim: What about Camille Wade?
Wade: Weird Kim, Camille is pretty much photographed every waking minute. But during these three crimes, it’s like she disappeared.
Kim: What’s her next public appearance?
Wade: A fashion show the afternoon.
Kim: Something tells me there’s going to be another theft.
Jim: Try someone.
Tim: Or some two.
Wade: Oh yea, forgot to tell you, your brothers have a theory.
Kim: Gha! Tweebs! You don’t belong at my school or on my mission!
Jim: But don’t you want to know what we uncovered reading Camille’s book?
Kim: no! I cracked it! Almost.
Tim: So how is she doing it?
Kim: Height limit.
Bonnie: A bit harsh big sis, don’t you think?
Kim: You don’t want to know what I really think Bonnie.
Bonnie: Come on Jim and Tim; tell me again about Yosemite, and… the rash.
Kim: I’m so gonna… we’re cool! I mean I’m cool! I mean Hick-a-bic-a-boo? Any luck on a possible target Wade?
Wade: Do you have any idea how much these designers charge for a dress?
Kim: I know I can’t afford. You think she’ll steal clothes?
Ron: We can rule out socks.
Wade: How about a rare blue diamond necklace that’s being worn with the dress?
Ron: Bo-ya!
Kim: That’s the target. I’ll check the dressing room.
Ron: Ok. Got your back KP.
Kim: Dressing room Ron.
Ron: Uh, yea, uh, I’ll just wait right here then.
Kim: Wade, any idea where to find this necklace?
Wade: Just look for a lot of security.
Model: I forgot my powder. May I?
Kim: Um, sure.
Wade: I wouldn’t do that, that compact sprays a tracking powder.
Kim: You don’t need it, you’re perfect.
Model: You’re right.
Kim: Target in sight.
Tim: Are you sure this is a good idea? You head Kim, she doesn’t want us involved.
Jim: Reason enough to do it.
Tim: Yea, I call bad cop.
Jim: No way, I call bad cop. Good day Dr. Beaufox.
Beaufox: Are you my 2:30 tummy tuck?
Tim: We’ll ask the questions doctor.
Jim: Camille Leon, ring a bell?
Beaufox: I fully warned her of the dangers, all experimental surgery contains risk, it says so on my business card.
Jim: This guy’s all talk.
Tim: Radical techniques? As if.
Beaufox: Oh really? Nano-morphing. Radical enough for you?
Tim: Nano-morphing?
Tweebs: Shape shifting.
Kim: This time I’m not letting the target out of my sight till be catch a thief.
Woman: Anastasia has been dropped by her agency, she’s not coming!
Guy: We don’t have a model to wear the gowned and the necklace?
Ron: Yes you do! Right here!
Kim: Oh Ron! I’m not a model.
Ron: Well, why not, you’re beautiful.
Kim: Well I guess it would a spankin’ way to keep tabs on the necklace.
Guy: Hmm, uh-hu. Hmm Hu, you will do.
Kim: Well, wow! Well, I guess if everyone thinks I am a model.
Guy: Makeup, hair! Wardrobe! Green eyes bring them out! Hair bigger! Big is a back! Oh, we are going super glam!
Kim: Uh, it’s kinda snug!
Guy: Sow her in.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the highlight of tonight’s show from Spreluchie.
Ron: Whoa!
Jim: Kim!
Kim: I told you two to stay away. MC Honey?
Jim: It’s not MC Honey Kim.
Tim: It’s Camille.
Jim: She’s a plastic surgery experiment.
Tim: She’s a shape shifter.
Camille: Oh like you’re a model.
Kim: Grr, this dress is not working for me.
Ron: Dude, the leisure suit, hot or not?
Kim: Ron, find Britina, it’s really Camille, she’s a shape shifter.
Ron: You mean like the tweebs said?
Kim: Okay, they were right, let’s move on. I thought you went the other way.
Ron: What other way.
Ron2: She’s not in wardrobe. Hey, I’m already here.
Ron: Kim, its Camille.
Ron2: I’m not Camille, she is, ah, he is.
Kim: Two Rons. But only one. Rufus!
Ron2: Kim! Grab me! I mean her! Grab her!
Guy: Oh! My gowned! I love it!
Kim: Me too.
Ron: I got me! You know, I’m surprisingly nimble for an arise.
Kim: Tracking powder.
Ron: Too much?
Kim: Got a lock on the tracking powder.
Ron: Here buddy! Freaky cat incoming!
Kim: Oh no.
Ron: Gha, Camille can be anyone.
Camille: Do you know who I am?
Ron: Lady, the question is, do you know who you are?
Kim: You wanted to see me Miss Guide?
Miss Guide: Miss Possible, I was just sharing my observations of the last week with your parents.
Kim: Hm, super.
Miss Guide: It is my recommendation that Jim and Tim be enrolled and freshmen… at another school.
Kim: What?
Mrs. Dr P: Honey, clearly this is having a negative effect on you.
Mr. Dr P: It’s not all about the boys Kimmie, it’s about your best interests too.
Kim: If the tweebs switch schools, then so do I. They have my back, now I have theirs.
Tweebs: Hik-a-bic-a-boo.
Kim: Ho-shaa.
Miss Guide: um, how do you spell Ho-sha?



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