Triple S

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By wallaceb
Ron: Ok, I’ve been studying the dating hobbits of Middleton’s most desirable females. Rufus, the visual aids please. A distinct pattern emerges.
Kim: I’m guessing this pattern doesn’t include you?
Ron: Correct. It does however involve, the captain of the basket ball team, the captain of the football team, the captain of the judo team. Thus leading to my ground breaking conclusion: girls dig guys who play sports.
Kim: I could’ve saved you a lot of time on that one.
Ron: It’s so simple. All I need to do is to become a jock. It’s my one way ticket to hottie vile.
Kim: You don’t even play a sport Ron, I mean, what team could you possibly try out for?
Ron: All of em’.
Kim: You’re not actually going to try out for every team, are you?
Ron: Yea, but I hope fencing is first, cause these tights really itch.
SSS: good news Jr., I have hired a financial consultant. Meet Vincent Wheeler.
Vinnie: Call me Vinnie. How are you doing kid? Whoa, that’s some grip you got there. You work out I bet, what do you bench, two bills?
SSS: Mr. Wheeler is going to manage our enormous fortune, so we can focus full time on our evil activities.
Finnie: Mr. Wheeler? Come on, we’re all family here, Vinnie, please?
SSS: Jr., show Mr. Vinnie our financial portfolios.
SSJ: but I was going to practice my…
SSS: Now Jr.
Vinnie: Hey Jun, did you realize all your dad’s holding are also in your name?
SSJ: I hear words coming out of your mouth that mean nothing to me.
Vinnie: Let me lay it out for ya. All these numbers…
SSJ: Make my head hurt.
Vinnie: Well, here’s an idea slick, you could just sign over power of attorney to me.
SSJ: More words I do not understand.
Vinnie: You sign these papers and I step in, bingo-bango just like that, it’s all on me, burden lifted.
SSJ: No more numbers? No more words I do not understand?
Vinnie: And you know what kiddo, who don’t you just go ahead and jot down all your back access codes while you’re at it?
Barkin: There’s only one objective, that’s to crush your opponent until they go crying home to mama. Now let’s have some fun out there people!
Kim: This could get ugly.
Ron: That’s right. Uh-hu, who da man? How you like me now? I’m hot, your not, I’m hot…
Kim: Ooh!
Rufus: Ouch!
Ron: Hmm, blsh.
Kim: Ron, can you hear me?
Ron: I can’t feel my legs.
Kim: Rufus, how many sports are there at Middleton high?
Sales Woman: Here you go Mis a me. One week’s supply of Le Gupe Hair product.
SSJ: Pick a card my sweet stuff.
Sales Woman: I’m sorry Misuse, the card’s being denied.
SSJ: This is impossible! Father, what is the meaning of all this? Are e moving into a bigger more extravagant home?
SSS: No Jr. Mr. Vinnie has taken everything. You signed it over to him. Our entire fortune. You have ruined us!
Kim: Ron? Ron? Don’t scare me like that. I had to grande size to wake you up.
Ron: Oh. The jock dream is over KP. The express train to hottie Vile left me standing at the station.
Kim: Don’t take it took hard Ron. Now one can say you’re a quitter.
Ron: True.
Kim: You didn’t stop until you were rejected from every sport at Middleton High. Wait, that didn’t come out right.
Ron: I need to drown my sorrows in the slurpster.
Kim: What up Wade?
Wade: Hey Kim, how’s our Olympian?
Kim: He’ll live. More or less. What’s the sitch?
Wade: Rash of robberies, four in the last couple weeks. And who ever it they got some serious moves. Check the footage.
Kim: Hello showoff. Wait a sec Wade, can you back up that last clip, and slow it?
Wade: Nice catch Kim. Let me do some digital enhancing.
Kim: 5-5-5.
Monique: That guy’s got a stuff dive; check the temper tantrum in the inverted cinnamon twisty roll.
Kim: Ok, you lost me when you hit the backed goods reference.
Monique: Those flips and tricks. There competition class. Who is that?
Kim: I wish I knew. He’s our bad guy desire.
Monique: Who ever he is, he’s definitely an action sports pro, those moves are right out of the X-games.
Kim: The X-games huh?
Wade: Monique was right Kim; these are the last four cities on the top action sports tour. They’re also the sites of all four of our robberies. The tour ends this weekend at the X-games.
Kim: Sounds like a good place to start.
Ron: so all we need to do is find a dude with five-fifty-five tattooed on the back of his neck?
Kim: I don’t know, it looks like a lot of necks. Where do we start? Bike stunt, skate board, Motto-X?
Ron: First things first KP, Rufus and I are going to check out the action snacktion. How’s it rollin’ ladies? Not even a glance. Is it that obvious I’m athletically lacking?
Rufus: Uh-hu. Uh-hu.
Ron: How ‘bout some shade pal, you know how you burn… whoa! Wha! Wahaa! Whaaa! Whaaa!!!
Crowd: Look at that! Awesome!
Ron: Not… gunna… hurl. Whoaahhaa! Wahoaa!
Guy 1: Wow!
Girl: Check it out.
Guy 2: Whoa, that dude is shreddin’ it.
Ron: Waaaahhaa!
Reporter: I’m standing here with the founder of a new sport just debuted at the X-games, “Umbrella Surfing.”
Ron: Uh, no, actually that was an accident. I didn’t even mean…
Girl: That was totally the sickest athletic expo I’ve ever seen.
Ron: Yes, sick. Yea. I’m the sickest athlete you’ll see on the circuit yo.
Kim: If I was a daring action sports fan, where would I be?
Ryan: Hey look out! Wow, you almost got smashed. What’s up, I’m Ryan, Ryan Nighquist.
Kim: Woo, thanks Ryan. Kim Possible. Are obstacles usually that um… extreme?
Ryan: Accidents happen.
Kim: That was no accident. Check out tall dark and busted. Sorry. Oof!
Ryan: You’re intense, even by my standards.
Kim: Story of my life. Well, that’s one down. Umbrella Surfing?
Ron: So guys working on a little somethin’ somethin’ to add to my bag o’ tricks. What of I…
Kim: Ron? What are you doing?
Ron: Oh, he KP. Just speaking a little shredonics with my fellow athletes. Bob Brusquest: skate boarding king, Dallas Friday: weight board maven, and Trevor Von: motto-X mad man.
Kim: I’m sorry, did you say fellow athletes?
Ron: Word Kim. Guess you missed my new sport expo: Umbrella Surfing. It’s kinda you know…the thing right now.
Kim: I was busy getting crushed on, by a giant pipe. We have to find this guy Ron. Before he tries again.
Ron: Chill KP, I’m still on the job. These three are clean, no 5-5-5 in sight.
Kim: Well, that’s the last of them. Wow Ron, what’s with the fashion blindness?
Ron: Pretty sweet huh? It’s from my new sponsor.
Kim: Hold up. Someone is actually giving you money to endorse their equipment?
Ron: Not just equipment. Mini corn dogs too!
Rufus: Hmm, corndogs!
Ron: Kim, this jock thing is even better than I dreamed. I’m a foeman with the ladies. What’s up Molly, let’s chill later. Katie, Hanna, call me. You want?
Kim: Pass. I promised Monique I’d score her a T-shirt. Hi, one medium size…
SSS: Kim Possible. This one is on the house of course.
Kim: This is so many levels of not right.
SSJ: Why hello. Could it be that you could not resist watching Jr. in the high action competition?
Ron: Competing? You an X-gamer?
Kim: No way. You’re not even in the program.
SSJ: I refused to pose for the program photograph. The lighting did not do me justice.
Kim: The two of you can consider yourselves busted.
SSS: Busted? For selling T-shirts and competing in the games? We are just poor common folk now.
Kim: Please. Don’t even play that with me.
SSJ: It’s true; we lost all of our fortune.
Ron: And now what, you’re trying to steal it back?
SSS: No, we are working hard to make an honest living.
SSJ: You must understand, money has no meaning to us. Now we’re rich in moral fiber, rather than material possessions.
SSS: Come, I’ll show you. Welcome to our paradise.
Ron: He went from owning his own private island to this?
SSS: The Island was actually very impractical during the monsoon season. With our new simplistic life, we want for nothing. Please come in. here are the vegetables we grow ourselves. Here is where Jr. spins the cotton fiber to make our clothing, and here is where I collect the rain water that we drink. It is a simple life, but it is a good life.
Kim: And you don’t miss being billionaire super villains at all?
SSS: I though I might, but I do not. Would you like a cookie? I churned the butter myself.
SSJ: None for me father, I am preparing for my big bike stunt competition.
Kim: Well, I guess we better be getting back. But er, thanks for the T-shirt. I don’t know Ron, they seemed happy.
Ron: Come on KP, how do you buy happiness without money?
Kim: Hey Wade.
Wade: What up Kim, did you find out guy yet?
Kim: No love, anything on your end?
Wade: I found a connection all the robberies. All of the companies hot are owned by one man Vincent Wheeler. A.K.A. Vinnie.
Kim: Keep talking.
Wade: Get this. Wheeler was a financial advisor. He got all his money by stealing it from his rich clients, including…
Kim: The seniors!
Wade: Bingo.
Ron: It is Jr. He’s trying to steal back the family fortune.
Kim: The Bike stunt expo.
Ron: Wow, easy ladies, plenty of Ron to go around.
Guy 1: Here you go man
Girl: Time to rock and roll.
Guy 2: Make us proud bro.
Ron: Whoa! Hey! Hiahyaa! Whoa! Wait a sec!
Reporter: It’s time for the new sports exhibition. Are you amped?
Ron: What? Wait, N-no hold up. A professional athlete needs his rest. You know, get in the zone?
Girl: I’ll be watching.
Ron: But… I
Kim: Jr.! Stop!
Crowd: Boo!
Ryan: Ooh! Not pretty.
Kim: He’s… he’s terrible.
SSJ: How did I score?
Kim: Nice try Jr. I know your just tanking this event to try to throw me off.
SSJ: Throw you off what?
Kim: I’ve seen the tapes of the robberies Jr. I know you got pro caliber X-games skills.
SSJ: I welcome that, and any other complements you might have for me. But I have no idea what you are talking about.
Kim: Really? Then explain this! Oops.
SSJ: Why are you stretching out my jersey?
Kim: Just making sure you didn’t cover that tattoo with makeup or something.
SSJ: Ha! I never wear makeup. Well, perhaps a little foundation. Maybe some blush for ruddiness. But nothing on my neck I assure you.
Kim: I don’t understand.
SSJ: Look, all I want to do is make my father proud by winning a gold medal in the X-games.
Kim: You might have your work cut out for you.
SSJ: It’s true. When it comes to action sports, I will never measure up to him.
Kim: To who? Senior?
SSJ: He has taught me everything I know. He is an X-games expert.
Kim: Right. I’m sure he’s the one with the 5-5-5 tattoo.
SSJ: Silly, why would father have a 5-5-5 tattoo? He already has the triple S’s.
Kim: What?!
SSJ: S-S-S. It stands for…
Kim: Senior Senior Senior.
SSJ: Yes, you finished my sentence.
Kim: Wade, Kim here. I went after the wrong generation of Seniors.
Wade: Kim, check this. Vinnie Wheeler is flying out a shipment of uncut diamonds today. Right over the X-games venue.
Kim: The sky surfing expo! Thanks Wade. Haaa! Sorry! Sorry, excuse me. Pardon me; this will just take a sec. Huh? Senior!
SSS: Ah, Kim Possible. Did you not like the T-shirt?
Kim: What about your new simple life? What about wanting for nothing?
SSS: Have you ever tasted home churned butter? It is quite revolting.
Kim: I’m probably going to regret this…but
SSS: Well, well, well.
Kim: Hope you don’t mind me dropping in? Talk about unfriendly skies.
SSS: Have a nice flight.
Kim: Ahhh!
SSS: You should really consider qualifying for the X-games Kim Possible; your moves are quite fresh.
Kim: How do you like this one?
SSS: I am only trying to get back what was taken from me.
Kim: Not on my watch. Ahahhh!
Vinnie: Listen Billy Buddy, I want you to increase the reward money to 2 billion. This is personal baby! I want this guy caught.
Ron: No date is worth this!
Rufus: Whoo-Hoo!
Ron: Whoaaoaa! Ahhh! Ahh! Whoaaa! Hang on Rufus! Ahhh!
Rufus: Hiya!
Kim: Parachute would be nice right now. Or this will work.
Rufus: Again!
Ron: Hi, how sick was that?
Girl: Not even. You were totally curved.
Ron: Wait, don’t you wanna interview me?
Reporter: What, for shortest sports career ever? Let’s go Mac.
Ron: Hey guys, any suggestions?
Guy 1: Yep, retire man.
Girl: You know before you hurt someone?
Guy 2: Starting with yourself dude.
SSS: Ghraara.
Kim: Step aside Jr.
SSJ: I cannot allow you to turn in my father.
Kim: Oh, you can’t?
SSJ: No, because I am going to do it.
SSS: But why Jr.? Why? You betray your own father.
SSJ: Father please. I’m turning you in for the reward.
SSS: Reward? You mean cash, crisp legal tender?
SSJ: But of course. I will use it to break you out of prison and buy back our island.
SSS: Ah, an excellent plan.
SSJ: After all, you cannot buy Le Gupe hair products with moral fiber.
SSS: You have done well Jr. I am proud of you my son.
Kim: Hey you wanna move tables? Because it’s kinda hot here.
Ron: No! No umbrellas.
Kim: Oh, or not.
Ron: I can’t believe I got one day of jockdome like that. It’s like getting one bite of a casereto combo and having the whole platter yanked away.
Kim: Ron, let me spell this out for you. Girls like guys who are comfortable with who they are. Embraces your ronness, and just stop trying to be something your not.
Ron: You know something Kim, you might be right. From now on no more posing, no more fronting. I’m Ron Stoppable, what you see is what you get. And I’m not chanin’ for anyone.
Kim: There you go.
Girl 1: Excuse but, you’re the guy who stopped that thief right?
Ron: Well, I…
Girl 1: we totally saw it on the big screen.
Girl 2: It was so badical. You’re like… a hero.
Kim: Remember, embraces the ronness.
Ron: Listen, I-I don’t know if hero would really be the right word to describe me I… think crusading crime fighter might be a more accurate term.