The Twin Factor

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By wallaceb
Guard: Hey, Frank, you got my iced mocha?
Shego: Maybe you oughta lay off caffeine.
Guard: Wha! Wha...!
Shego: It keeps you awake.
Drakken: Well done, Shego.
Shego: Dr. Drakken, stop!
Drakken: I give the orders. Do not tell me to stop.
Shego: I do when I haven't shut down the alarm system yet!
Drakken: Can we pick up the pace?
Shego: You're the one who set off the alarm. Let's do your stupid whatever-it-is and get out of here.
Drakken: That back talk slows down our entire operation! I demand obedience!
Shego: From me? Please.
Drakken: And if my latest scheme works, obedience is what I shall have....Oh.
Tim: Kim!
Kim: Give me that!
Tim: Sure.
Kim: What are you doing?! So what? I'm your new screensaver?
Jim: You're everybody's new screensaver.
Tim: We wrote a new e-mail program the beamed it to everyone in Middleton.
Kim: Oh, right. Like you jokers have the brains to write a program like...Hello?
Bonnie: Hi, Kim. It's Bonnie.
Kim: Er, hi.
Bonnie: Is that zit cream or should I like, call a paramedic?
Kim: It's moisturizer, Bonnie! Don't think you're off the hook.
Kim: Hey, Wade. What's the sitch?
Wade: Drakken and Shego just raided a top-secret research facility in the southwest.
Kim: Can you set up a ride for tomorrow?
Wade: Already set. The lab is sending a plane.
Kim: Cool. Anything else?
Wade: Yeah, next time rinse and spit before they take the picture.
Kim: Oh!
Mrs. Dr P: Morning, Kimmie. I made you a big breakfast.
Mr. Dr P: Gotta carb up for the adventures lies ahead!
Kim: Just a break-in at a top-secret lab. So not a drama.
Mr. Dr P: Break-in?
Mrs. Dr P: Top-secret lab?
Mr. Dr P: We were talking about baby-sitting the twins.
Kim: Baby-sitting?
Mrs. Dr P: We've got our spousal encounter today, remember?
Kim: That thing at Lake Middleton? That's today?
Mr. Dr P: You betcha. Your mother and I get to reconnect emotionally. And do some serious fly-fishing!
Mrs. Dr P: I'm not sure who picked the venue but it may be fun.
Mr. Dr P: Hon, don't forget your hat.
Kim: Er, speaking of forgetting, I totally spaced on the baby-sitting.
Mrs. Dr P: Kimmie, you made a commitment.
Kim: Two commitments, actually. I'm supposed to go on a mission today.
Mr. Dr P: You'll just have to take the boys.
Kim: Mom, can you please tell Dad that's a bad idea?
Mrs. Dr P: Oh, Kimmie. I'm sure Jim and Tim would love to visit a secret lab with you.
Kim: Fine! Like I can really take those two with me on a mission. They're such... little freaks! I'm about to become an only child. Jim! Tim! Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
Mrs. Dr P: See you tonight, Kimmie. And thanks for watching the boys.
Mr. Dr P: Have fun on your mission now. But easy on the snacks. Remember, candy is dandy but fruit helps you poop!
Kim: Fruit. Check.
Kim: You trashed my room. You trashed my room!
Tim: We needed your tri-lithium power cell. Here, you can have the rest back
Kim: You destroyed my communicator to make some stupid toy?
Jim: It's not a toy! It's a silicon phase disruptor.
Tim: Hand held!
Kim: Gimme my batteries you tweebs!
Jim: I'm not a dweeb!
Kim: Tweeb! Twin dweeb! Dweeb squared!
Ron: We may never be able to talk to Wade again.
Rufus: Hmm. Gimme!
Kim: Ron, why can't my brothers be normal?
Ron: They're relatively normal. For twins, I mean. At least they don't speak their own weirdo languages.
Jim: Hikka-bikka-boo?
Tim: Hoo-sha.
Kim: They're just so... ugh! Like a ten-year-old could really build a phase disruptor or whatever it is.
Ron: Wade's ten and he builds all sort of stuff.
Kim: Wade's a super-genius. He aced high school and college in like eight months!
Ron: Maybe they're just pacing themselves, like me.
Rufus: Ta-daa!
Kim: Thank you, Rufus. That must be our ride. OK. Does anybody need to take care of any business?
Tweebs: No!
Ron: Business? Like what? Banking?
Kim: Ron! Business. As in there won't be any "rest stops".
Ron: Kim, the boys are ten. They don't need to take a nap. I don't think rest will be an issue. Oh, right! Er... excuse me.
Kim: Thanks for letting me bring along the terrible two, Mr. Geminini.
Geminini: How bad could they be?
Jim: Where does this hose go?
Ron: To the back of the plane.
Tim: What does it do?
Ron: Air plane stuff.
Jim: Is it pneumatic or hydraulic?
Ron: It's I-don't-knowic.
Jim: Check it out?
Tim: Got to.
Ron: What are you guys doing?
Geminini: I had a twin brother. We were quite a handful, let me tell you. But I turned out OK.
Kim: What about your brother?
Geminini: He'll get out in five years with good behavior.
Ron: Hey! Don't touch that. Kim! They touched!
Geminini: Pressure gauge is reading zero! We've got a major malfunction.
Tweebs: Sorry, Kim!
Kim: Two major malfunctions! Dweebs! Jim! Tim!
Jim: We just wanted to know what was in that hose.
Kim: Why?
Jim: Because it was there. It was hydraulic fluid.
Kim: And what better way to find out? Aah! Oof. Come on! Gotcha!
Ron: We're alive! And you have really nasty breath, Rufus. Lay off the blue cheese will you, buddy?
Cyrus: Kim Possible! Thank you for coming. I'm Dr. Cyrus Bortal. What happened to the pilot?
Kim: Overexposure.
Cyrus: To what?
Kim: Them.
Jim: A secret lab!
Tim: Check it out!
Ron: Those two in a top-secret lab? This could be a bigger threat to the free world than Drakken.
Kim: Not, could be... Definitely!
Kim and Ron: Shego?
Rufus: Uh-hum, Shego!
Kim: Dr. Bortal?
Cyrus: Boys, please!
Kim: Here we go.
Cyrus: That's a very delicate piece of equipment called...
Jim: A silicon phase disruptor.
Cyrus: How did you know that?
Tim: We're making one too!
Cyrus: Except mine is real.
Tweebs: So is ours!
Cyrus: A hand held unit? It is simply not possible.
Tim: Anything's possible.
Jim: For a Possible.
Cyrus: Boys, boys, boys. You know, when I was a boy I like to make believe I was making rocket-ships and blaster-rays.
Jim: We do make rockets!
Tim: And blaster-rays!
Cyrus: Humph! Such cute lads.
Kim: Doctor, what exactly was in the safe?
Cyrus: My latest project. The neuro-compliance chip.
Ron: Hmm. Let's pretend I don't know what that is.
Jim: It's a micro-computer that overrides the brain and the nervous system.
Tim: Total mind control.
Kim: I don't think so. That's would be like ferociously unethical. Dr. Bortal would not invent something like that. Right?
Cyrus: Ah-hah! Well... "Ferociously unethical" is a little harsh.
Ron: Drakken has total mind-control power?!
Rufus: Oh, man!
Kim: Yet another take-over-the-world thing.
Ron: That, or he's gonna force people to listen to those stories about his twisted childhood.
Drakken: Then, in fourth grade, I develop the ray that allowed me to control rubber products. They said I was mad but after that no-one could best me in foursquare, tetherball, dodge ball! Isn't that fascinating?
Shego: Fascinating, Dr. Drakken.
Drakken: Want to hear more scintillating stories from my formative years? Hmm?
Shego: Yes, Dr. Drakken!
Drakken: No time. I have to make more chips if I want the whole world to be blindly obedient to me. And you know I do, Shego.
Shego: Yes, Dr. Drakken.
Cyrus: Miss Possible, Miss Possible, Miss Possible please! Our security officer searched the lab already.
Kim: They don't have spectrometer sunglasses.
Cyrus: Fascinating! Where did you get those?
Kim: Ten-year-old super-genius.
Cyrus: Your brothers?
Kim: So not!
Ron: Got something?
Kim: Maybe. Hmm. Wade, are you getting this?
Wade: It's a leaf. Or a piece of one. Oh! From the qualotoc fern.
Kim: And I'm betting they don't grow in the desert.
Wade: They don't grow anywhere. Except at the foot of Taishu Falls in the Peruvian rainforest.
Kim: OK. So we go to Peru, find Drakken, grab the compliance chip and get the tweebs back home before dinner....Where are the tweebs? You guys totally embarrassed me back there. What was up with that?
Jim: We were trying to fix the doctor's phase disruptor.
Kim: Was it even broken?
Tim: No, it was lame.
Ron: Isn't it time to pull our chutes?
Tim: No way! Free falling is cool!
Ron: Kim! I see... water?
Kim: Tech-scan it, Wade. Getting anything?
Wade: Huge energy readings halfway up.
Kim: There's probably an entrance behind the falls. Thanks, Wade.
Ron: Why are the entrances never just, you know, like ...a door?
Kim: OK, Ron. I'll infiltrate Drakken lair and get the chip. You keep an eye on the tweebs.
Ron: Oh, sure. Give me the dangerous assignment.
Tim: We wanna go, too.
Jim: Yeah, we could be backup.
Kim: OK. Back up. Don't touch anything!
Drakken: Micrometer.
Shego: Yes, Dr. Drakken.
Drakken: Nano-weld resistor.
Shego: Yes, Dr. Drakken.
Drakken: I love this. Hand me a fork.
Shego: Yes, Dr. Drakken.
Drakken: Get me a dodo bird.
Shego: Yes, Dr. Drakken.
Drakken: Psyche! Dodo birds are extinct. Oh, I'm being silly. There, I'm already done. A new compliance chip. Isn't it lovely?
Shego: Yes. It is lovely.
Drakken: Can't you show a little more enthusiasm?
Shego: Hurrah!
Drakken: Kim Possible! How did she get so close? Why didn't you tell me?
Shego: I was looking for a dodo bird.
Drakken: ...Wait. This is delicious. Hello.
Jim: I'm bored.
Ron: Bored is good. Bored is safe.
Jim: No, it's not. It's boring. Kim's taking forever.
Tim: We should go up there and see what's going on.
Rufus: Ha! Huh?
Ron: What's up? Kim said to stay put.
Tim: Well, Kim's not here.
Kim: Yes, I am.
Ron: Kim! Why are you dressed like Shego?
Kim: That is not important.
Ron: OK. So, where's the chip?
Tweebs: On her forehead!
Kim: Dr. Drakken will see you now.
Tim: Hoo-sha!
Ron: Hold my naked mole rat, boys. I'm going in. Gimme the chip. Where's this hand go? You watching? And this one...Yeaargh!
Jim: Did...
Tim: You really think it would be that easy?
Ron: Well, I hoped.
Kim: Dr. Drakken has ordered the capture of Ron Stoppable.
Ron: He remembered my name.
Jim: Initiate big sister capture sequence!
Tim: And we can't even get in trouble!
Jim: Sweet!
Tim: Get ready! Gotcha!
Ron: You captured Kim Possible.
Tweebs: No big.
Jim: Hikka-bikka-boo!
Tim: Hoo-sha!
Ron: You know, guys... if Kim were here...
Kim: Must capture Ron Stoppable. Must capture Ron Stoppable. Must capture Ron Stoppable...
Ron: If Kim were here and not under Drakken's control she'd have a plan.
Rufus: A plan, uh-huh!
Jim: Let yourself get captured.
Ron: A plan does not involving that!
Tim: Drakken doesn't know about us. He ordered Kim to get you. So that's all she cares about.
Jim: Let her take you into his lair. We'll follow.
Tim: Oh, and get the communicator.
Ron: To call for help?
Rufus: Good plan!
Jim: No! We take the power cell out of communicator...
Tim: And put it in...
Jim: Our silicon phase disruptor.
Tim: It'll jam the control frequency of that chip.
Jim: That's why Bortal had a disruptor in his lab.
Tim: To override the chip.
Ron: This finishing each other's sentences thing is really freaking me out.
Tim: Here she comes!
Jim: Go!
Ron: What up, Kim? So, how's the whole mind-control thing working out?
Kim: You must be taken to Dr. Drakken.
Shego: You are very smart and look good in this light.
Drakken: Fine, Shego. Don't wear it out.
Kim: Dr. Drakken. You are very smart and look good in this light.
Drakken: Now, see? She sells it. So, Kim Possible. You climbed down the waterfall and captured your very best friend. I like this mind-control thing very much.
Kim: Yes, Dr. Drakken.
Drakken: Good. Now go secure the perimeter or something.
Kim: What about the hairless rodent?
Drakken: Stop! Give me that! Good. Now, Shego, Kim, destroy that little bald thing.
Rufus: Oh-oh!
Drakken: Who are you?
Jim: The kid who's gonna bring you down.
Drakken: Oh, really. You and what army?
Tim: Hoo-sha!
Drakken: The clone!
Tim: That's right, loser!
Drakken: Shego! Kim! Forget about the rodent. Get those little clones!
Jim: Stall em!
Ron: Right. OK. Which door? Which door? Ahhh! Wrong door! Don't look down! Don't look down Don't look dow... Ahhhhhhhhh!
Rufus: Oh, no! Oh, no! Pain. Please no!
Tweebs: Everybody stop!
Drakken: Ah! I'm onto you. You're not clones, you're just garden-variety twins. You don't give the orders here.
Tim: I do if I've got a silicon phase disruptor.
Drakken: A silicon phase disruptor? Really?
Tim: Hoo-sha!
Drakken: Wait! How could two little boys carry a silicon phase disruptor up the cliff?
Tim: It's portable.
Drakken: Portable! Oh, you really had me going there for a moment.
Tim: Hikka-bikka-boo?
Jim: Hikka-bikka-boo. Er... Hmm. Oh-oh!
Drakken: Ah! Portable silicon phase disruptor. I knew it couldn't be done.
Ron: Are you sure the battery's in right? The plus goes with the plus thing and the little slash goes with the other not plus!
Shego: Nice outfit.
Kim: Nice apron.
Shego: OK, Doc. For future reference the chip made me obey every command, but I was aware of exactly what was happening.
Drakken: The whole time?
Shego: Dodge ball and dodos?!
Drakken: Ooh!
Shego: Do you have any idea what listening to you is like?! It is so boring!
Ron: Shouldn't we go after them?
Kim: Nah! Whatever Shego is going to Drakken is ten times worse than anything I could come up with.
Ron: I'm sure Jim and Tim could think of something cruel.
Kim: I think Jim and Tim have come up with enough ideas for one day. And every one of them rocked. For tweebs you guys are pretty amazing.
Rufus: Aah!
Jim: Oh, gross!
Tim: Are you feeling OK?
Kim: Come on. Let's get out of here.
Mr. Dr P: Hey, everybody! Good news! Our marriage is strong than ever! And we caught a mess of trout.
Mrs. Dr P: It looks like somebody took very good care of her little brothers.
Kim: When they're asleep like this they hardly seem evil at all.
Mrs. Dr P: You were ten once, too, Kimmie.
Kim: Yeah, but I wasn't as bad as them.
Mrs. Dr P: Er...
Mr. Dr P: Well...
Kim: Was I?
Mrs. Dr P: You were... spirited.
Mr. Dr P: No baby-sitter alive could handle you. Not that we could find anyone willing to try after a certain point.
Mrs. Dr P: Honey, what have the boys got on their foreheads?
Jim: Huh?
Tim: Huh? Can't catch me!
Jim: Oh, yes I can!
Kim: I finally understand how special my brothers are. And I love them to bits but sometimes nothing says bedtime like a little mind control.