The New Ron

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By wallaceb
Francois: No, even for Francois it is too much.
Kim: You can do it Francois!
Francios: You are right, Kim Possible, I must try. My tools!
Ron: KP, are you sure about this?
Kim: Ron, Francois is an artist. Getting him to make a house call is like epic.
Francois: Oh, I could not visit the states and not help Kim Possible. After what you did for my poodle, oh, please, it is my pleasure.
Kim: Those dog nippers?? had it coming.
Mrs. Dr. P: Kimmie, why is Ron getting a haircut in our kitchen?
Kim: Uh, because he ferociously needs one.
Mrs. Dr. P: Oh, I don't know.
Kim: I do. I know what's best for Ron, even if he doesn't.
Francois: So, Ronald, your old barber, he was um... how you say... somewhat "vision impaired", yes?
Ron: No, he could see shapes, kinda.
Mrs. Dr. P: Oh, he's really taking a lot off.
Kim: He'll thank me, Mom. It's no big.
Francois: The finale: A piece as a dollop of... Le Goop! As they say, the secret is in the sea urchin.
Rufus: Wow!
Ron: Ahh!!!
Kim: I'm telling you it was a change for the better, Ron. Trust me.
Ron: Don't play me, Kim.
Kim: Just come out. Oh, that's much less embarrassing than a new haircut.
Ron: By making me get the foofy haircut, you disrupted my core. My identity, my essential Ron-ness.
Kim: "Ron-ness"?
Ron: Yeah, that easy going devil-make hair attitude that makes me ... um, an easy going devil-make hair guy. Right, Rufus?
Kim: I had no idea there was so much to you, Ron. I'm sorry. I guess there's only one thing I can do.
Kim: New haircut!
Ron: Ahh!
Kim: Ron Stoppable got a new haircut! See ya!
Ron: Give it, Kim! Seniors! Um, hi.
Amelia: Do I know you?
Ron: I-I-I'm Stop Ronnable. Ron Stoppable.
Amelia: That's a very, very, cool haircut, Ron Stoppable.
Ron: Thanks.
Amelia: I'll see you later.
Ron: Maybe. I mean, sure, yeah, later. This haircut rocks! Stadium rocks! Oh no.
Ron: Kim! Kim
Kim: Ron, where have you been all day?
Ron: Please tell me this haircut comes with a warranty.
Kim: What happened?
Ron: Cowlick.
Rufus: Hmmm... Hi yah!
Ron: Rufus!
Kim: Oh, it'll flatten out when your hair gets longer.
Ron: That's one scenario. Here's another: We go to France, find Francois, get more Le Goop.
Kim: Ron, are you suggesting that I call in a favor so you can go to France for hair gel?
Ron: Uh, we.
Kim: Thanks for the ride.
Co-Pilot: Oh, Kim, believe me it's the least we can do after your help during that blizzard.
Pilot: We never would've seen that runway without your quick thinking.
Kim: Oh, anybody could've made a high powered signaling system out of things found in the airport gift shop.
Ron: That was some emergency, huh? We'll gotta go, bye!
Co-Pilot: Hey, cool haircut!
Pilot: Too bad about that cowlick.
Ron: So you're saying I need a new wardrobe to take the hair to the next level.
Francois: Oh, without question, Ronald! The hair, the clothes, they must harmonize.
Ron: Done and done, Francois. Marcie.
Ron: Bonjour.
French girl: Whoa!
Kim: Have these people never seen hair before?
Ron: Somebody's tweaked.
Kim: I am not tweaked.
Ron: You wreak tweak.
French girl: Bonjour!
Kim: Ok, yes, and do you know why? Because I find it very--
Ron: Yeah, baby, that's what I'm talking about.
Kim: I find it very annoying that hair care products have become the center of the universe.
Ron: Hair care products have always been the center of the universe. I just found out about it recently.
Kim: Ugh. Hmm.
Ron: That's weird.
Kim: Yeah, it is. I'm calling Wade.
Wade: Hey, Kim, how's Ron? Tell him I could really go for some lasagna. How 'bout stopping by Italy for me?
Ron: Was that a shot?
Kim: Paris is blacked out, Wade. What's the sitch?
Wade: Let me scan the news sites. Wow! It's not just Paris; Rolling blackouts all over Europe.
Kim: Can you patch the Kimmunicator into the European grid?
Wade: Done.
Kim: Great, and we'll need some transportation.
Wade: No problem. I've done some consulting work for a French aeronautics firm. They'll help out.
Ron: This cannot be safe.
Kim: Uh, Wade, I'm kinda with Ron on this one.
Wade: Don't be babies. The Pilot-less Drone Chopper is awesome. The military uses it for missions too risky for human beings.
Kim: I've traced the drain to Eight degrees One Minute West, Forty-six degrees North, but my map shows nothing out there.
Ron: "Nothing" left it's lights on.
Kim: Wade, take us down.
Ron: Gently! Whoa!
Kim: That's a really big light bulb
Ron: No wonder there's no power in Europe.
Kim: Uh, hello.
SSJ: Father, I see people. They must be the new servants.
SSS: Very good, very good. You have brought more light bulbs?
Ron: Did you bring light bulbs
Kim: I'm Kim Possible and this is Ron Stoppable.
SSS: Ah, welcome, welcome to my home. We have only just turned everything on. I am Se?or Senior, Sr. and this is my son, Se?or Senior, Jr.
SSJ: Your haircut, it is very nice.
Ron: I use Le Goop.
SSJ: As do I, but your clothes, they do not harmonize.
Ron: I know, I'm all over it, dude.
SSS: I was just going to take a quick ski down my indoor mountain... care to join me?
Kim: No thank you, Se?or...
SSS: ...Senior, Sr. Some refreshment perhaps? Oh, I have some lovely juice. Quite amazing really; it comes in a box.
Kim: A juice box would be nice.
Ron: I wanna ski. Yeah, ok, juice is good.
Kim: I guess what I'm saying is energy is a precious resource. It's up to each and every one of us to do our part. So a little eco awareness might be in order here.
SSS: Oh, I am but a simple multi-billionaire. I can't believe that what I do has any effect on anyone.
Kim: Yeah. Um, your house sucks up so much power; it's causing blackouts all over Europe.
SSS: And these people without power, they are...inconvenienced?
Kim: Very.
SSS: you see, Junior, how awful it is to be poor? But, um, what can I do?
Kim: Well for starters, you could turn off that giant sunlamp.
SSJ: But if I am to be a teen pop star, I need a robust tan.
SSS: Later. Oh, I want to hear again about this low-flow-shower-head.
Kim: There's a ton of things you can do to make your house more efficient.
Ron: House? More like a lair.
SSS: Lair? Oh, I do not like the sound of that. It's too... sinister.
Ron: This place screams sinister; It's on a private island that isn't on any map.
SSS: I value my privacy, what can I tell you?
Ron: Come on, look at all the chrome. You've got doors that go-- that go "whoosh"!
SSJ: I always wondered about the "whoosh"...
SSS: I like the "whoosh". It's the door saying "I am closed".
Kim: its fine, sir; ignore him.
Ron: All I'm saying is that a guy could take over the world from a place like this. I mean really it wouldn't take much; maybe a communications jamming system, some missiles, probably throw in some traps, y'know self-activating lasers, an indoor lagoon full of piranha...
SSS: Piranha... Why ever would I want... piranha?
Ron: To eat the good guys.
Kim: Just put in some fluorescents that should do the trick. Bye bye!
Ron: And also think about a secret underground grotto with a speed boat for escape purposes. And-and-and-and gigantic spinning tops of doom, they'd be huge and destroy anything in their path.
Kim: Come on, Mr. Spinning Tops of Doom, I've got homework.
SSS: Goodbye! And thank you!
SSJ: I hope the one with the nice haircut finds better trousers.
SSS: Yes, but his ideas...I have so much money and free time...I could use...a hobby.
Jim: Why didn't you beat him up?
Kim: I'm not gonna beat up a guy just because he's using too much power.
Tim:: Ah, you could've kicked him!
Kim: I left him some pamphlets.
Mr. Dr. P: Well, all you kids could stand to turn off a few lights.
Mrs. Dr. P: Dinner! Ta-da!
Kim: Mom, is that?
Jim: Brain, cool!
Tim:: I want a lobe!
Mr. Dr. P: Boys, please.
Jim: Sorry. May I please have a slice of steaming human brain?
Tim:: Please?
Kim: First Ron, now my family, has everyone lost their-- That is so gross.
Mrs. Dr. P: Kimmie, its just meatloaf. I'm making it for the neurosurgeons pot luck. Thought I'd try it on you guys first.
Mr. Dr. P: Kudos on the realism, uncanny. So, uh, what's up with Ronald? Something you wanna talk about?
Kim: Yeah, but I guess I should be talking with him. May I be excused?
Mrs. Dr. P: I'll save you a plate, honey! Boys, left hemisphere or right?
Ron's answering machine: Hey, hey, you've reached the home of Ron Stoppable and fierce new haircut! Leave a message.
Kim: How can Ron not be home? Ok, better page him.
Ron: Ugh, no, no, no, no, no! Dude, I am beyond not feeling this shirt. Look at my hair; you gotta key off the hair.
Mr. Dr. P: You and Ronald all squared away?
Kim: Not. I can't even reach him. Dad, did you ever try to change a friend, to make them better?
Mr. Dr. P: Well not a human, but back in grad school, there was this lab rat. Pinky Joe Curly Tail I called him. Poor little guy was always running mazes for those sphic majors, how I hated them...
Kim: Dad, what does this have to do with me?
Mr. Dr. P: Well it seemed to me that Pinky Joe Curly Tail was just so helpless. I constructed a very tiny cybertronic battle suit...
Kim: For the rat?
Mr. Dr. P: No more mazes for him! Ah, in retrospect, giving him a working plasma blaster probably went too far. Blew up half the science building. Rampaged across campus. Oh, Pinky Joe.
Kim: So, this "creating a monster" thing runs in the family.
Mrs. Dr. P: Saved you some brain loaf, Kimmie.
Kim: If I said the Ron trouble is rising, would you come back with a story about a psycho rat?
Mrs. Dr. P: No. But I might work in an "I told you so".
Ron: What's happenin', mama?
Kim: Oh, hey, where were you last night? I paged and-- whoa! What happened to you?
Ron: Ron Stoppable has arrived. Amelia, babe, let's lunch.
Amelia: Okay.
Kim: Oh, Pinky Joe. Rufus! What are you doing out here? Come on; let's get you into Ron's locker.
Amelia: Wow.
Ron: Yes, Amelia wow. The secret is the sea urchin.
Kim: Excuse me, Ron. What is with you?
Ron: If you mean, "Am I the new Ron?" Yes, I am.
Kim: I gotta say, I don't think the "Old Ron" would've ever left Rufus on the floor. He was almost hallway road kill!
Ron: Rufus, you gotta be more careful, what if something happened to you?
Rufus: Aww!
Ron: Whoa, bro, careful of the do, babe.
Kim: So there's no room for Rufus in your new life?
Ron: Yes, there is; there's just no room for him in my new pants. Pleather, y'like?
Amelia: Walk me to history, Ron?
Ron: Boo-yah.
Rufus: Aww.
Kim: Come on, you can live in my locker.
Rufus: Ahh.
Kim: Yeah, I liked him that way too.
Wade: Kim, we've got trouble. Big Time trouble.
Kim: What's the damage, Wade?
Wade: The damage is Se?or Senior, Sr. I thought you said he was harmless.
Kim: Yeah. Rich, but harmless.
Wade: He's sucked up all the power in Western Europe.
Kim: Ok, I'll go back and make sure he turns off some of his lights.
Wade: It's gonna take more than that, Kim. Se?or Senior, Sr. is taking Europe's power on purpose. Check this out.
SSS: My evil vow is this: I will send Europe back into the dark ages unless the Euro Alliance gives me... their nice little islands.
Kim: Nice. Little. Islands?
SSJ: With the warm beach days and hot disco nights!
Wade: They are obviously new at the big- villain thing.
Kim: That's what worries me. I'll get Ron. We've gotta save Europe!
SSS: Hmm, Evil chortle... No, not for me. Ah, the evil snicker! Alright, that will do for now. Junior, any word from the Euro Alliance?
SSJ: Somebody called, I don't know who.
SSS: Did you think to take a message?
SSJ: I did not; I'm not your message taking person.
SSS: If you want your own island, you will think to take a message. Look, Ron Stoppable returns.
SSJ: Has he got the new trousers?
SSS: Yes, scuba trousers.
Ron: ... So then Amelia ran up and said "Brad Pitt!", but she tapped me on the shoulder and--
Kim: Ron, we're sneaking here.
Ron: Sorry. Brad Pitt, though.
Kim: Whoa!
Ron: Double whoa. He's been busy.
Kim: Get down. Oh, good, missiles. I am so glad you told him to get missiles.
Ron: Oh, so I made a few suggestions, does that make it my fault?
Kim: One hundred percent.
Ron: It that what I think it is?
Kim: That's how he's draining the power. Come on, let's get this settled.
Ron: How are you planning on getting inside?
Kim: The door. Se?or Senior, Sr. open up.
SSS: Ah, Kim Possible, my feisty teen--
Ron: Hey, you put in a lagoon!
SSS: The piranha won't be here 'til Monday, but, I assure you, the Koi have not been fed in days. I ordered this book on world domination off the internet. Huh, It said you'd be coming back.
Kim: Have you gotten to the chapter where you give yourself up?
SSS: No, actually, I'm up to the part where I tell you that it is too late for you to stop my evil plan.
Ron: Aw, man, I have a zit on my nose.
Kim: Will you get over yourself?
Ron: You do too, right there.
Kim: Self-activating lasers Threw in some traps.
Ron: Hey, on the positive side, this guy's clearly a terrific listener. [
Kim: Se?or Senior, Sr. is really starting to get on my nerves.
Ron: Should Pleather lose its sheen so quickly?
SSS: Kim Possible, here's a good target: Middleton. I'm going to attack your hometown! Junior, go to the tower and activate the missiles.
SSJ: Oh, now I'm your missile launching person too!
Ron: Junior just split.
Kim: I'll deal with Senior, you go after Junior. Keep an eye on him. The old Ron may still be inside there somewhere.
SSS: Oh, you think you're out of trouble? Well, you're not out of trouble. Farewell, Kim Possible!
Kim: Spinning tops of doom?
SSJ: Why do I have to launch his stupid missiles?
Ron: Step away from the console!
SSJ: or step away from your bossy attitude. You think just because you're so nicely dressed---
Ron: Ahh!
SSJ: Ahh! No you don't!
Ron: Oh, you are gonna pay.
Rufus: Hum
SSJ: No!!!
Ron: Look at me, what have I become?
SSJ: I do not know. What?
Ron: My Ron-ness! I-I feel it! Yeah, this look works!
SSJ: What look? Let me see. But your hair is all messy, it's so, so--
Ron: totally me!
SSJ: Ahh!!!!!
Ron: Whoa, the stairs. Use the stairs.
Kim: Ahh!
Ron: Kim! Get down! Come on!
Kim: Thanks. Never, never tell anyone to go out and buy Spinning Tops of Doom. You gotta be careful about what you say, Ron. I mean one little thing--
Ron: Like "You need a new hairstyle"?
Kim: Yeah! Like that. Sorry.
Ron: You know what the worst thing is? Pleather doesn't breathe.
Kim: Secret grotto and a speed boat. Great for escapes.
Ron: you know, I am so not talking to anyone ever again.
Kim: Come on, let's ace this place.
Ron: So, it wasn't really the haircut that made me popular. What people saw was confidence. So I lose the haircut, keep the confidence and I'm Chauncey. Hey Amelia, we still on for after school?
Amelia: After school, with you? And do what? Geek out?
Ron: But-come on-it's me-it's Ron. What so I ditch the 'do, it's what's inside that matters, right? Right?
Amelia: Like who told you that, loser?
Rufus: Wooo!
Kim: See? Someone likes you just the way you are.