Sink or Swim

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By wallaceb
**All:**Go, Mad Dods Go, go, Mad Dogs...
Barkin: Let's save some of the pep for the competition, ladies.
**All:**Go, Mad Dods Go, go, Mad Dogs...
Ron: Go Go Mad Dogs!
Barkin: Hey, Stoppable!
Bonnie: Kim, he's doing it again!
Kim: Ron? Er, Ron? Ron!
Ron: What?
Kim: You should, er, hold back until the competition. You know, pace yourself.
Ron: Can't hold back, KP, the Mad Dog came to play!
Rufus: Yay!
Kim: No. Ron, you're already on thin ice with these girls, OK? Can you just try to be somewhat normal?
Ron: Is there anyone who is not the boss of me?
Kim: I'm so not bossy.
Ron: Except when you're telling me what to do.
Rufus: Mm-hm-hm, bossy!
Kim: You gotta admit, I usually know what's best.
Ron: Oh, please! Are you kidding me? ...Wait a minute, this road looks familiar. Too familiar!
Kim: Gasp
Ron: Wade, I need a GPS lock on our position.
Wade: OK, calm down, Mad Dog. Locked.
Ron: That can't be right. That can't be right!
Kim: Ron!
Ron: It, it's m-m-my, my worst nightmare!
Ron: Return to Camp Wannaweep!
Ron: AHHH!
Barkin: Stoppable, do you have a problem?
Ron: Drive, drive fast, Mr. Barkin! Drive like my life depends on it!
Barkin: What are you yabberin' about?
Ron: It was the worst summer of all time! I swore I'd never come back to Camp Wannaweep, never!
Barkin: No bus wipes out on Steve Barkin's watch!
Barkin: Sound off if you're hurtin'!
Girls: I'm OK! It's alright. It's OK.
Rufus: Ah! Wew!
Ron: I'm hurting!
Barkin: Dandy. We got two flats, better call for help.
Bonnie: Ladies, cell phones!
Girls: No service?!
Kim: That's weird, the Kimmunicator isn't working, either.
Barkin: Stoppable, you know the way of the land?
Ron: Every rock, every tree, every bloodthirsty tick. It haunts me.
Barkin: Good. Where's the phone?
Young Ron: Mom, hey, it's me again. Yeah, I know I just called three minutes ago, but I just wanted to ask one more time, can you please get me out of here!
Ron: I seem to recall a payphone.
Barkin: Lead the way.
Ron: Mr. Barkin, I am not.... What did you say?
Barkin: I said, lead the way.
Ron: Yeah! This is it! The one time that Ron Stoppable gets to lead, gets to call the shots, gets to be the big boss man.
Kim: Ron? Please, just take us to the payphone.
Ron: Oh, I will, but you need to understand this, I am your only hope.
Kim: What?! Ron? Normal.
Ron: Listen up, people, Camp Wannaweep is a dangerous and wicked place. And among us, only I, Ron Stoppable know how to survive here.
Ron: Don't believe me? See that? Poison oak. How do I know?
Young Ron: What's this plant?
Young Ron: Ahhhh!, Ahhhhh! Make the itching stop!
Ron: This is a place of evil. Stay close and you'll stay alive.
Kim: Out of order.
Barkin: I don't like this.
Ron: Place of evil!
Tara: This is just like those movies. Innocent teens stranded at a camp in the middle of nowhere. Then some creepo starts to pick them off. One... by... one.
Kim: So not the drama, Tara, this isn't a horror movie.
Ron: Oh, isn't it?
Bonnie: Ok, if it were a horror movie, there'd be more guys. And they'd be way cuter than him.
Ron: Oh, Bonnie, you remind me of the cruel kids at camp. Sticks and stones...
Tara: They called you names?
Ron: Yes, while hitting me with stick and stones.
Girl: I saw something move!
Tara: Gasp
Kim: It's just a squirrel.
Ron: Just a squirrel? Really?
Young Ron: Leave me alone!
Young Ron: Whimpers
Barkin: You've always been a piece of work, huh, Stoppable?
Ron: They were bigger then.
Barkin: Sure you weren't smaller?
Ron: They were bigger!
Kim: Well, looks like we're stuck for the night.
Kim: OK, let's make the best of it.
Ron: Yes, right. Follow me.
Ron: I was trapped, hiding in the hollow of a tree. And then the woodpeckers came.
Bonnie: Your freaky friend is acting extra freaky.
Kim: He's not freaky, Bonnie.
Ron: Gasp
Kim: Well, OK, he kinda is, but it's not his fault.
Ron: It's the curse of Camp Wannaweep.
Tara: What if he's right? What if this place is cursed?
Kim: Tara, please!
Barkin: Stoppable, you're workin' on my nerves.
Ron: Mr. B, ssh! We've got a rustle in the brush.
Kim: Ron, I think we've established that the squirrels mean us no harm.
Ron: What's that supposed to mean?
Kim: Let's just enjoy the campfire and relax.
Tara: So, you shared a cabin with a tick-infested chimp?
Ron: Yeah, that's right. This place holds a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some... No, no, no, all bad.
Kim: I, um, I'm gonna get some more firewood. Yeah.
Ron: Ooo, KP, Camp Wannaweep rule number one, use the Buddy System.
Kim: Oh, well, I think I can handle it.
Barkin: He's right, Possible. I'll go too.
Ron: Mr. B's with the program
Barkin: I cannot take another camp story.
Kim: Why do you think I'm goin'?
Tara: You know, Ron, I happen to think it's kinda nice here.
Rufus: Hm!
Ron: Oh, really?
Rufus: Yea!
Tara: Sure! I mean, the woods are, you know, woodsy. And, and well, just look at the lake. It seems so peaceful.
Ron: Ah, yes, Lake Wannaweep.
Rufus: Ew!
Ron: How I hated that lake!
All: groans
Girl: Not another story!
Young Ron: No... Way! I am not going into that water!
Counselor: Everybody jumps in the lake!
Young Ron: No! No, no! Argh! Argh! Ew! Ew-ew-ew-ew-ew! ...Huh?
Counselor: Sigh, what's wrong now, Stoppable?
Young Ron: The lake! Have you looked at it? Have you
smelled it?
Gil: Look at Ronnie! The squeeb's scared of the water.
Young Ron: Ahhh!
Young Ron: I am not scared! The water is green, it stinks, and I'm pretty sure I've seen the fish glowing at night!
Counselor: Gil, weren't you in the morning swim group, you supposed to be in arts and crafts right now?
Gil: There's no way I'm getting out to make some stupid wallet.
Counselor: You stay in there too long you'll wrinkle up like a prune!
Gil: Yeah, right.
Young Ron: You know, I could take Gil's spot in arts and crafts and he could have my afternoon swim, I mean, you know, for the whole summer.
Counselor: Oh, fine, whatever! Just change the activity roster! We're headin' for jungle war, that's all I know!
Gil: I still say you're a squeeb.
Young Ron: We'll see who's the squeeb that the end of summer when you're all wrinkled up like a prune and I got a suitcase full of hand-made wallets, pot holders and lanyards.
Ron: That was the last time I ever saw Gil.
Bonnie: So, you've been a loser for, like, ever?
Rufus: Hm?
Kim: Gasp, Mr. Barkin, did you hear that?
Barkin: Stoppable's gettin' to ya. That's just nature's night music.
Kim: Mr. Barkin?! Mr. Barkin? Mr. Barkin!
Kim: Have you seen Barkin?
Bonnie: Kim, duh, Barkin's with you!
Kim: Not any more.
Tara: So, where is he?
Kim: I-I-I don't know. There were these weird sounds, he was there more weird sounds, then he disappeared!
Tara: What?!
Kim: Huh, where are Liz and Marcella?
Tara: They went to the little girls' cabin.
Ron: KP, Buddy System!
Ron: Pants
Rufus: Pants
Ron: Kim, do I have to remind you of the importance of the Buddy System?
Kim: It didn't help Liz and Marcella.
Ron: That's not a human footprint, Kim!
Kim: OK, I'm getting a little freaked out here.
Ron: There's only one place to go, Cabin 13!
Ron: In this very cabin, I was able to survive every evil Camp Wannaweep could throw at me.
Ron: Ahhhhhhhh!
Ron: This will be our base of operations.
Tara: Um, Ron?
Ron: Yes, Tara?
Tara: I'm hungry.
Ron: Well, if we pry up the floorboard like so, we'll find my secret stash of snacks.
Tara: Cool!
Kim: Tara, those are ancient!
Bonnie: G-ross!
Ron: Pop Pop Porters food-style pork wafers have enough preservatives to last for decades!
Tara: It's not so bad. Huh! It's definitely... food style.
Bonnie: Great! Our squad is short two people and there is nobody to drive us to the competition!
Girl: Dude, forget the competition! How are we gonna survive the night! There's something out there!
Bonnie: Ok, ok, you're right. Do you think that something can drive?
Kim: Everybody stay calm. I'm going to handle this. Here's the plan.
Ron: Er, excuse me?
Kim: What?
Ron: On the school bus, Barkin's in charge. When we're saving the world, you're in charge. But here at Camp Wannaweep, I'm in charge!
Kim: Ron, this is serious.
Ron: Hello, note serious face.
Barkin: Possible!
Ron: Mr. Barkin!
Kim: He's out there! Let's go!
Barkin: Possible!
Kim: It's Ok, Mr. Barkin, we're here.
Barkin: Its, its drippin' and oozin' muck, Eurgh!
Ron: Mr. B, what exactly is it?
Barkin: Freakish. It's, it's... makes me ill to visualize it.
Kim: Oh, come on, I'm sure I've faced worse. ...Did you say oozing muck?
Ron: And its back there!
Barkin: That's the guy.
Ron: He is freakish!
Gill: I heard that, squeeb! Remember me?
Ron: Not really. And I gotta tell you, I think I'd remember.
Gill: Oh, come on, Ronnie, think! We switched places. You took my arts and crafts and I took your swim time.
Ron: Gil?
Barkin: Gil?
Kim: Gil who?
Gill: Oh, I am no longer Gil, now I am Gill!
Ron: Er, what's the difference?
Gill: I added an L. You know, as in gill, as in these things that grew and mutated?
Kim: Eurgh!
Ron: KP!
Gill: Step away from Miss Possible, Ronnie.
Ron: How do you know her?
Gill: Oh, I know all about your life, squeeb. It's been goin' great, hasn't it?
Ron: I've got some complaints, but who doesn't?
Gill: Is one of your complaints that you're a stinking mutant?
Barkin: All right son, let's take a timeout here before things get out of hand.
Barkin: Oh!
Gill: Do you mind? Can't you see I'm catching up with my old camp buddy?
Gill: So, Ron, did you ever hear why they shut down the camp?
Ron: Er, no.
Gill: It turns out... Oh, you're gonna love this! The lake had been polluted by runoff from the science camp.
Ron: I thought that was the band camp.
Gill: No, that's band camp.
Ron: Really? I thought that was clown camp.
Gill: No, that's clown camp.
Ron: Oh, yeah. I love those clowns.
Gill: Ah! OK, the point is, the lake was toxic.
Ron: See, I thought that lake was funky I'm glad I never went in. You, on the other hand, you practically... lived in that water.
Gill: While you made wallets.
Ron: And lanyards. I ruled at lanyards. Huh-huh!
Kim: Look, we know plenty of scientists, maybe someone can cure you.
Gill: Science? Science made me like this.
Ron: Are you sure it wasn't the clowns?
Gill: Aren't you wondering how I jammed all your communications?
Kim: Equipment stolen from telecommunications camp?
Gill: Lucky guess.
Kim: So you were behind the blowout on the bus and everything. Why?
Gill: All part of my plan to have revenge against Ron Stoppable!
Ron: Part of me is terrified... and yet part of me is flattered.
Gill: Did I mention at contact with muck will turn you into a mutant? Just like me.
Kim: Well, you left that part out.
Barkin: This is sick and wrong!
Bonnie: There is no way they're going to let a squad of mutant cheerleaders in the competition!
Gill: There is no competition! Don't you get it? It was all a trap! And guess what, Ronnie, you're next.
Ron: Hey, Gil, huh, maybe this is a good time to sing the Camp Wannaweep friendship song. Ah!
Gill: Give it up, Ronnie.
Ron: Not when I've got my old Cabin 13 escape tunnel handy.
Bonnie: He is ditching us!
Tara: That ditcher!
Kim: Ron does not ditch. He's...
Kim: Mr. Barkin, what's up with you?
Barkin: Man, my neck feels all weird and itchy and... Cheese and crackers, I'm mutating!
Rufus: Uh-oh!
Gill: Gotcha, squeeb!
Ron: Mr. Rabbit comes out of his hole, he hops around the tree and... This does not bode well.
Rufus: Hm.
Ron: Go, Rufus!
Gill: So, he ditched you.
Kim: He did not ditch us, OK? He obviously...
Kim: Found a motorboat. So he could, Ah,...
Bonnie: Totally ditch us.
Gill: He's out on the lake, my lake? How dumb can he be?
Barkin: Ah... Ah... I'm getting gills!
Ron: Rufus, didn't you check if we had enough gas?
Rufus: Uh-oh!
Gill: Hey, Ron, it's free swim!
Ron: You're on! OK, that water is way too funky!
Gill: You think? You can't win, Ronnie. This is my element.
Ron: And arts and crafts is my element.
Gil: Hey!
Ron: Now Rufus!
Rufus: Boo-yah!
Gill: What's going on? You outta gas! Aaaarrrggghhh!
Rufus: Ooo, psyche!
Gill: Ah! Ah! Oh! Argh! Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Ron: Free swim's over.
Rufus: Hm!
Ron: Let tell ya, Ron Stoppable makes a mean lanyard.
Barkin: Hurry, man, my feet are webbing as we speak!
Gill: Ron, you are still a squeeb! Ahhh! And you always will be!
Kim: Doctor Lurkin specializes in genetic mutations.
Ron: So, you think you can reverse Gil's mutation?
Lurkin: Well, I specialize in genetically-altered rutabagas, so this should be quite a challenge.
Gill: I will have my revenge!
Lurkin: Oh, don't worry, I'll fix him up.
Ron: Get normal soon, Gil!
Barkin: Hey, hey! Check my neck. Everything cool?
Hobble: Nice work, Miss Possible.
Kim: Actually, Officer Hobble, it was all Ron.
Hobble: Good one, young lady.
Kim: I'm serious.
Barkin: Nice work Stoppable.
Girls: Thanks, Ron! You rule!
Rufus: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Ron: No, no, no, thank you, thank you.
Ron: Ah!
Bonnie: You know, it's not like you're not still, you know, you. But it would really stink if that jerk had turned us into mutants. And you were kinda brave and all.
Ron: Who rocks?
Bonnie: Sigh, You do.
Ron: Boo-yah!
Rufus: Boo-yah! Hm-hm-hm-hm!
Barkin: Listen up, the police are gonna give us a lift home! Let's rock and load!
Ron: I'll be there in a minute, Mr. B.
Kim: Pretty amazing.
Ron: What do you mean?
Kim: Everything. You were awesome!
Ron: Yeah. This is the one place where I know the score. Where Ron Stoppable knows what it takes to the last camper standing.
Kim: Ron, the stuff you did, you were resourceful, you were brave. That doesn't have anything to do with this place, it's you.
Ron: You think so?
Kim: Mm-hm.
Ron: So on our next mission, I call the shots?
Kim: um,... we'll see.
Ron: Oh, come on! I know what that means.
Kim: It means we'll see.
Ron: Yeah, that's code for "not a chance".
Kim: Actually, it's code for "ferociously unlikely".
Ron: Oh, man!



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