Sick Day

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By wallaceb
Ron: Hmm.
Kim: Incoming!
Jim: Achoo!
Kim: Jim, say it, don't spray it.
Mrs. Dr P: You boys are burning up.
Tim: Can we have some more chicken soup?
Jim: Please?
Kim: Ron, maybe we should bail from Sick Tweeb Central and pick up the study fest at your house.
Ron: No fear here. I'm cold-proof. No germ has ever successfully breached the fortress that is the Stoppable immune system.
Mrs. Dr P: Bless you.
Kim: Well, at least he covered. I do not want to catch this. How did I catch this?
Wade: We can go to the tape.
Kim: What?
Wade: I've enhanced the germ trail.
Kim: Eww.
Wade: Woop, there it is.
Kim: I don't even want to know how you got that.
Ron: Hey, KP, how we feeling today?
Kim: I can't breathe through my nose.
Ron: Okay, yeah, no idea what you just said.
Wade: Hey, Kim, I'm patching through an elite scientific team for a satellite briefing.
Kim: Please and thank you.
Scientist#1: Kim, we've just put the finishing touches on our new invention. We call it...
Scientist#2: Ray-X.
Ron: Ray-X?
Kim: What's it do?
Scientist#1: Well, uh, it's a secret.
Scientist#2: Hence, the "X."
Scientist#1: "X" as in the unknown.
Scientist#2: Of course, we know.
Scientist#1: Right. Uh, but no one else does, so it's unknown to everyone else. The point is, we could use some extra help with security around here.
Scientist#2: Just for today, until we have moved Ray-X to a secret location.
Scientist#1: We're calling it Location X.
Kim: Say no more. I'm on it. Oh, I got up too fast.
Ron: Uh, you really think you're up to this?
Rufus: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Kim: It's just a cold. All I have to do is sit there and guard some little ray thingy.
Kim: Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo!
Ron: I just heard a way freaky security alarm go off. It sounded like, "Choo, choo, choo!"
Kim: That was me. I was sneezing. Stay alert and keep your eyes open for anything suspicious.
Drakken: Shego, in mere moments Ray-X will be ours.
Shego: What does this Ray-X do?
Drakken: It's need-to-know.
Shego: Uh-huh, uh-huh. So you don't know?
Drakken: I need to know. That's why we're here.
Shego: Kim Possible.
Drakken: Not to worry, I have just the plan to get past her.
Kim: Choo! Choo! Choo!
Shego: Aw, somebody's sick. This will be cake.
Drakken: We can't just walk in there. What about the plan? I drew it myself.
Shego: Everyone knows it's impossible to keep your eyes open while you're sneezing. So if we time it right, she won't see a thing.
Drakken: Okay, fine.
Kim: Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo!
Kim: I'm sorry. Visiting hours are over. Ron, meet me at the main entrance. I got
Drakken.
Ron: "Drag Kid"? Who's he?
Kim: No! Drak-ken!
Ron: Drag can? Drag it where?
Drakken: I have no idea what this is going to do to you, but I'm banking it's very, very bad!
Kim: Drakken! Whoa! I have to sneeze.
Shego: What?
Kim: I need to cover my nose.
Shego: Nice try, Kimmie. Aah! Aw! That was a low blow.
Computer: Fire escape routes activated. Security doors opening.
Drakken: You should have stayed in bed, Kim Possible.
Ron: Where is he?! Where's the dragon?!
Drakken: Wo-ho! I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it. Ha! What do you suppose this thing does, Shego? ...Shego? Hello?
Shego: Hey, I'm calling in sick. Kim Possible gave me her stupid cold.
Drakken: What?! You can't call in sick!
Shego: I have to go, I... I... Ugh! That's disgusting.
Drakken: I need a new temporary cohort in evil ASAP. But who? Who? Ew! Never again. Killigan. He works cheap.
Ron: Ron's crib. Hello? Who dis?
Kim: Hey, Ron. It's me.
Ron: Grandma?
Kim: Kim. Listen, my mom is way cranked that I went out sick.
Mrs. Dr P: Cranked is putting it mildly!
Ron: Worry not, KP, Rufus and I can totally handle Drakken.
Kim: Mom? Can I have some soup?
Ron: Behold, Rufus. I give you Operation Ray-X.
Ron: OK, scuba to point A. Suction cup to point B. We'll bungee jump to point C.
Rufus: Whoa! Ghrrr! Whoa!
Ron: Ahh! Whoa!
Killigan: Sidekick?! I'll nay be a sidekick! You said equal partnership. 50/50!
Drakken: Killigan, be reasonable. Some were born to lead and some...
Killigan: And some were born to yap, yap, yap.
Drakken: How about co-villain?
Killigan: No!
Ron: Shego! Wow, you look green. I mean, you know, greener. Aw... Ew! Total grossness. Like taking candy from a baby. A sick, sneezy baby who sprayed her germy illin' all over me. Thank goodness for the Stoppable fortress of immunity.
Kim: Fortress of immunity, huh?
Killigan: Ah, you drive a hard bargain, Dr. Drakken. But I'm in.
Drakken: With the two of us working together, nothing shall stop us! Nothing! Ah... ah... Choo!
Killigan: Need I remind you of the contract? Should one signee become incapacitated the other party shall assume all head super villain duties.
Drakken: But you can't do it alone. To get that Ray-X back, you'll need a temporary lackey.
Killigan: One step ahead of you.
Hank: Hi. I'm Hank Perkins from the temp agency. Ready to get to work, sir.
Killigan: So tell me, laddie, have you any previous evil experience?
Hank: No, but I'm a self-starter, and I have a law degree.
Killigan: Eh, close enough.
Ron: I so don't get this soap opera.
Kim: What's not to get? Fecia's archenemy created a machine that swapped her brain with Brock's.
Ron: Let me see if there's any mo soup. Now, if I were soup, where would I... Ray-X!
Killigan: Gun it, Perkins!
Hank: Actually, I was wondering if you could sign my time card.
Killigan: Ay! Just go, man! Go!
Ron: With us sick, and the Ray-X in the hands of Killigan and Drakken, we're doomed.
Kim: We're what?
Ron: Doomed! Doomed!
Tim: Check it out. I found these plans in Ron's stuff.
Jim: Hoo-sha!
Drakken: Yes?
Killigan: Ay, can you believe Felicia and Brock switched brains?
Drakken: I know! So does that mean the wedding's off?
Jim: Check it, Rufus. We've modified Ron's Operation Ray-X.
Tim: We parachute to point A, drop and roll to point B.
Hank: Gotcha, Shego. I've reorganized Dr. Drakken's filing system. From A to Evil over here.
Tim: Or we can just do this.
Hank: Oh, no extra trouble. I really want to get in on the ground floor of this whole super villainy thing. You see, I think it could be the growth industry of the next ten years. In fact, I just caught my first prisoners just now. What's that? Oh, no biggie. That's what I'm here for.
Ron: Rufus? Buddy? Where'd you go?
Kim: Missing tweebs, too.
Ron: Along with my Operation Ray-X schematics.
Kim: Wade, I need a ride.
Hank: God, I hate to do this, but I do need to score some points with the boss, so...
Kim: Who are you?
Hank: Hank Perkins. Hello!
Kim: Do you work here?
Hank: Well, I am a temp, but a little birdie told me I might be kept on.
Kim: Sorry, Hank.
Shego: Wow, looks like somebody's been drinking lots of fluids and retaining every ounce.
Kim: So not in the mood, Shego. Gesundheit.
Shego: Thanks.
Drakken: Come on, Shego! Show her whose boss! Uppercut! Uppercut!
Kim: Snug as a flu bug in a rug.
Hank: OK, I am officially resigning, uh, so if someone could just write me a quick letter...
Tweebs: Wrong chandelier!
Hank: ...I'll just, uh... run!
Tweebs: Yes!
Drakken: No!
Killigan: Are you daft, man?! Just 'cause you have her brain in your head, it doesn't mean you can't love her.
Kim: Okay, good news, bad news. We managed to keep Ray-X out of the clutches of evil.
Scientist#1: Excellent! And, uh, uh, the bad news?
Kim: It sort of got a little crushed on the way out of the clutches of evil.
Kim: I got to know. What was this X thing designed to do, anyway?
Both: Cure the common cold.
Ron: I hate irony.