Royal Pain

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By wallaceb
Barkin: Listen up, people. Time has come to choose Middleton High's new student government. Class president is a magnificent burden, an excruciating opportunity. Now, let's have some nominations for this glorious, thankless task. It's a democracy, people! Now, do as I say! Let's hear some nominations!
Ron: Huh? Mr. Barkin, from the great State of Confusion, I am proud to
nominate our next class president, Kim Possible.
Rufus: Second!
Ron: Done and done, KP.
Kim: Ron! I wanted to run for class president, not class clown.
Ron: Suit yourself. Clowns have more fun.
Barkin: Challengers?
Bonnie: I nominate Brick Flagg.
Kim: What?
Brick: What?
Barkin: The cheerleader versus the quarterback... classic.
Ron: Don't worry, KP. Brick Flagg may be the most popular jock in school, but you have something he doesn't. You've got Ron Stoppable as your campaign manager!
Kim: Great.
Ron: Imagine the ball going not only into the Eiffel Tower, but through it.
Kim: What is this to do with my campaign? Bonnie's probably
painted dozen of "Pick Brick" posters by now.
Ron: Kim, duh! The best political strategies are figured out on
the golf course. Now let's move on the Old Faithful, shall we?
Kim: I don't care about big political deals! I wanna help people!
Ron: Kim, you gonna have to cut out this serious thing if you wanna beat Brick. Voters hate that! Or maybe you should get a dog! Voters like dogs.
Kim: I... What's the sitch, Wade?
Wade: We got a hit from the majesty King Wallace.
Kim: And should I know who that is?
Wade: He rules a tiny European nation.
Ron: How tiny?
Wade: The Middleton Mall is more crowded. Anyway, he has a son, Prince Wally, who needs your help.
Kim: They sent the royal jet! Spankin'!
Ron: As campaign manager, I must veto this mission. This whole
helping thing is definitely not helping you in the polls.
Kim: What polls?
Ron: These two guys I talked to in the caf.
Kim: Let's worry about my poll numbers later.
Wally: What's up, homey homes? I'm your main dude, brother man and such.
Kim: Ahh... Hello. I'm Kim and this is Ron.
Wally: Hold that thought. If you could sidestep just a smidge... sun in my eyes.
Ron: I'm on it!
Kim: Wait a second, Ron. Um... Wally?
Wally: Royal Highness! If it is all the same.
Kim: couldn’t you just move over a few inches, Royal Highness?
Wally: If I fancied to move, I suppose I could.
Kim: But you don't fancy.
Wally: I haven't given it much thought, have I? Daddy!
Ron: King Wallace, dude.
Rufus: Hi.
Wallace: Kim Possible! Welcome to our kingdom.
Ron: We are here for you, Your Majesty. Your Majesty... how cool is that?
Wallace: You must be Wade! The super genius who runs Kim's website.
Ron: Uh, no, I'm Ron. Ron Stoppable... sidekick.
Wallace: Oh,... I've never heard of you.
Ron: Right. Hmm Um. That because I prefer to, you know, work behind
the scenes. I do all the important...
Wallace: Miss Possible, could I speak to you privately?
Kim: Sure.
Ron: See? I cover Kim! I'm backup!
Wallace: Excuse me, Don, but I really need to speak to Miss Possible... alone.
Ron: That's Ron! R-O-N! Thank you.
Wally: Well, I'm bored. So I'm off to ride the royal go-cart.
Ron: Go-cart? Freestyle!
Wally: Oh, um, would you like to come?
Ron: Dude, I'm all about go-carts!
Wally: Very well.
Kim: So, what's this all about, Your Majesty?
Wallace: Oh! I have a problem. A terrible, ancient problem.
Kim: Ancient?
Wallace: It all started centuries ago with our first king. Unfortunately, my ancestor ruled the kingdom with cruel arrogance.
Subject: Please, Highness! My entire flock ran away and I need a few days to pay me taxes.
King: Cry me a moat. Off to the tower with you.
Wallace: He was despised by his subjects, particularly his own knights... the Knights of Rodeghan. They were determined to dethrone him. Secret plans were drafted... But they failed. Their grudge was passed down from generation to generation. Even today the descendents of the knights are still plotting to end the royal lineage.
Kim: If your royal family has been OK for all this generation, what's the problem now?
Wallace: You've met my son. "Weak Link Wally", as the press has so cruelly dubbed him.
Kim: Oh, yeah.
Ron: Can I wear these?
Wally: A commoner wearing my racing togs?!
Ron: Ew! No! Not your togs, just your clothes!
Wally: I suppose I could just have them burned later.
Ron: Yeah, baby! Let's ride! Woo-hoo!
Rufus: Wah! Wah-haaaa!
Wally: Ta-ta! Common Ron!
Ron: It's good to be royalty! You get go-carts!
Rufus: Wah-haaaaaa!
Kim: I just can't believe that there are knights in this day
and age.
Wallace: Oh, they're quite modern. They have a website.
Kim: A website?
Wallace: They have embraced the 21st century. They are more
determined than ever to abolish the monarchy.
Kim: Well, no offence, Your Majesty, but how do you know that this website is really run by these knights? It could be hackers playing a prank.
Wallace: No. I fear for my son.
Ron: Ahhhhhh! Ahh! Ahhh!
Kim: Wade. Come in, Wade.
Wade: Do you have any idea what time it is here?
Kim: Are you picking up any aircraft in this area?
Wade: No, my scans show nothing.
Kim: Scan higher. There's gotta be something.
Wade: Hey, that's weird.
Kim: What?
Wade: I'm picking up a satellite in geosynchronous orbit.
Kim: Government? Military?
Wade: Private. Some company called Rodeghan Industries.
Kim: The Knights of Rodeghan! I need the communicator to broadcast a scramble signal.
Ron: Ahhhhh!
Kim: Stop!
Ron: You got it, KP!
Wade: The laser fire should stop about... now!
Ron: Hey!
Kim: You rock in stereo, Wade!
Wade: Can I go back to sleep now?
Ron: What was that?
Wallace: Wally! Wally! Where's my son?
Wally: Tea time!
Wallace: Oh, thank heavens! Oh! You see, Miss Possible, I have urgent
need of your services. You simply must stay.
Kim: Can't.
Wallace: But my son is not safe here.
Kim: But I have to get back for the school for the election.
Wally: What's an election?
Ron: Something we'll lose if we don't get back on the campaign trail.
Wallace: I've got it! What say Wally tag along with you? America is so much larger than our land. It would be a perfect place to hide.
Wally: Ahhhhh!
Kim: Well...
Wally: Is your crib in a hood? Oh! That could be quite exhilarating!
Wally: Oh, Mrs. Possible!
Mrs. Dr P: Yes?
Wally: My cucumber sandwiches must have the crusts removed before they are presented to me. Hmm…Hmm.
Mrs. Dr P: Kim!
Kim: Mom, I know! But Wally won't be here long, just till he's out of danger.
Mrs. Dr P: I'll show him danger if he doesn't get a clue!
Wally: Oh, Mrs. Possible!
Wally: Please, I beseech you, let me wear my own garments, not these commoner rags!
Kim: You're keeping a low profile, remember?
Girl: There he is! Prince Wally!
Ron: Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Everyone, please listen up, the press conference will begin shortly.
Kim: Press conference?! What part of low profile don't you understand?!
Ron: Kim, your campaign needs a boost!
Kim: Are you going to say how popular Brick is?
Ron: Sure, he's popular, but he's never have a prince to endorse him…. on TV!
[bTricia:** It's not every day that sleepy little town of Middleton praise host to royalty. Prince Wally was kind enough to grant us an interview. Your Highness, we were told you want to endorse someone for the school's upcoming election?
Wally: Hmm? Oh, yes, yes. That one over there. Kim something or other. A bit high strung to ever be a world class leader, but perfectly adequate for public high school.
[bTricia:** Perhaps you think you'd be a better class president?
Wally: Well, naturally, I had been groomed for greatness.
[bTricia:** Are you saying you would be a better president than Kim Possible?
Wally: No, no, no. I'm not saying that...
Kim: Phew!
Wally: ...because it goes without saying!
Kim: Grrrrr!
Wally: Hmm, perhaps I shall toss my crown into the ring after all.
[bTricia:** Kim Possible, you're running against royalty. How does it feel?
Kim: I relish the competition. After all, that's democracy is all about. Earning the right to lead.
Wally: Unless, of course, one has the birthright to lead.
[bTricia:** There you have it, folks, Middleton High is in for a battle
royal. ( On TV ) Who will win? The prince or the pauper?
Kim: Pauper?!
Wally: I believe she was referring to you? Well, I shall consider my campaign strategy while lounging in the bath. Excuse me. Who plans to draw it this evening?
Kim: Grrrrr!
Wally: Perhaps you, Mrs. Possible? You haven't been pulling your weight around here of late.
Mr. Dr P: Wally, I think we need to have a little talk about how
we do things in the Land of the Free.
Wally: Blah, blah, blah. Talk is cheap. Three drops, not two, not four, and then sprinkle this lavender. You are a good man and true. I suppose to need some posters and buttons and such. You'll get on that, of course?
Kim: No! You shouldn't even be running at all! You weren't even nominated!
Wally: Oh, I see. You feel threatened! I will gladly withdraw if that's what you want.
Ron: But that's not what the people want!
Kim: Those same two guys in the caf?
Ron: Yes! And Brick is yesterday's news.
Kim: Really?
Ron: Totally, it's Wally all the way! I've gotta all planed out. We have to get started immediately because the Possible Campaign is way ahead of us!
Kim: The Possible Campaign? You're my campaign manager!
Ron: Yeah, about that. It's like a conflict of interest. Good luck, Kim.
Kim: I'll just run my own campaign... with less golfing! Hey, Wade. What's the sitch?
Wade: I checked out Rodeghan's website.
Kim: And?
Wade: I found something. But I can't figured out what it means. "The tapestry holds the truth."
Kim: Hmmm.. There was a tapestry in the palace!
Wallace: I assure you, Miss Possible, my best people have examined the tapestry. They found nothing.
Kim: Can't hurt to double check. Thanks for shipping it over so fast. I'll IM you if I find anything. Bye.
Mr. Dr P: Alright, Kimmie, we're ready to run the sequence.
Kim: Great. Thanks for letting me use your lab, Dad.
Mr. Dr P: Hey! What's federal funding for? See anything?
Kim: Hmm... nothing yet. Hold up! There's something there. Can you widen the beam?
Mr. Dr P: Sure thing.
Kim: Awaiting the light of full harvest moon. Rodeghan's foe will soon face his doom. In the shadow of the palace, we will not deterred... The monarchy ends with Wallace the Third.
Wally: So, for my own good, I should keep a low profile.
Kim: Guys, this is serious! Wally, you are definitely the target! And next week is a full moon.
Wally: Hmm, next week also happens to be the election, which you would like very much to win, wouldn't you?
Ron: She's trying to get you to stop campaigning!
Kim: Would you forget about the election?!
Ron: You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Kim: I would like to save him from the knights of Rodeghan!
Wally: Miss Possible, this prophecy clearly states that I must be
in the shadow of the palace. Now, do you see the palace? I don't, do you?
Kim: That's true, I guess.
Wally: Farewell, all! I'm off to biology class.
All: Bye, Wally! Bye! Ta-ta!
Brick: Man, he could go all the way!
Ron: Yep, it's looking like prince Wally is our next class president!
Brick: I bet he'll make regional’s.
Kim: Brick, there are no regional’s for class president!
Brick: Oh, well, he'll definitely be all-state.
Kim: Ugh!
Kim: Vote for me! Kim P!
Boy: Sorry, I'm already voting for Prince Wally.
Kim: Oh. Hey, guys! Sorry I'm lat... aaahhhh!
Girls: Oooohh! Wally!
Customs Agent: Is this a country? I never heard of it.
Knight: You will.
Customs Agent: Welcome to Middleton!
Ron: Your Highness, maybe we've pushed the royal angle too much.
Wally: Bite your tongue!
Ron: OK, sure. Being a prince is how you got the voters'
attention, but now, they seem to actually like you!
Wally: As a person? Wargh!
Kim: Hey, Wade.
Wade: How's it going?
Kim: I'm all over it. I'm putting up oomphier posters, and I'm focus-testing my new hair. Voters wanted it pulled back. What do you think?
Wade: I mean since the prince is on TV. Do you think the knights of Rodeghan know he's in Middleton?
Kim: Don't know.
Wade: The prophecy mentioned a full moon?
Kim: Sure did.
Wade: Tonight is a full moon!
Kim: Yeah, but it's like Wally said, he's no where near the palace. No palace, no prophecy.
Wade: Where is he now?
Kim: I'm guessing miniature golfing with his campaign manager...At Middleton Mini Golf! The sixth hole... It's a Palace!
Wally: Where is that caddy?
Rufus: Degrading me to this!
Wally: Yes! Hey! By royal decree, I demand a do-over!

Ron and Wally: Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!
Kim: I can not allow you to smash my presidential opponent!
Wally: Oh, thank goodness you've arrived! Does this mean I can leave?
Ron: Argh! A pointy ball stick! Aaaargh! Laser pointy ball stick!
Knight#1: Awaiting the light of a full harvest moon.
Knight#1 and Knight#2: Rodeghan's foe will soon face his doom. In the
shadow of the palace, it will not be deterred. The monarchy ends with Wallace the Third.
Wally: Well, as you know, I am known far and wide as Wally, so surly…

Kim: Leave him alone!
Knight#1: This is none of your concern, little girl!
Kim: Aaargh! Oooooff!
Ron: The voters will not like this. Kim! Catch!
Knight#1: Be careful with that thing!
Knight#2: Ooops!
Knight#1: Now, about you.
**Wally:[/v] Ah! Please! My father will give you anything! Whatever you want! Please!
Ron: The Titanic's going down... again!
Wally: Gold! Jewels! Just speak the word, and I will grant you... Nothing! On second thought, I will grant you nothing! Ah! Please! I'll give you anything! Ahhhhahhh!
Kim: Stay here and be quiet!
Knight#1: The prophecy never mentioned her!
Kim: Prophecy, shmophecy.
Kim: Maybe you should rethink this career choice!
Knight#2: Reggie?
Knight#1: Ooooh!
Knight#2: That's it! No more Mr. Nice Knight! All too easy.
Kim: Ugh!
Knight#2: Give it up, girl! We don't want you. We only want the prince. Whoa!
Kim: Old Faithful, indeed.
Ron: Boo-yah!
Officer Hobble: So, you expect me to believe that these knights came to
Middleton Mini Golf to carry out some kind of ancient prophecy type deal?
Kim: Officer Hobble, I can't make this stuff up!
Ron: Did you get the part about me in there?
Officer Hobble: Vandalism to the Mini Titanic?!
Ron: And my name again is Barkin. Mr. Steve Barkin. That's
B-A-R...
Wally: Kim Possible, you saved my life!
Kim: No big. Just doing the teen-hero thing.
Wally: No, you are a true leader. You have my vote.
Kim: Well, that's at least two votes.
Barkin: Alright, that's two votes for Kim Possible, zero votes for
Brick Flagg, 998 for Prince Wally!
Brick You had my vote, Dude! Way to go!
Ron: The guy has leadership experience! He's very good at giving orders!
Wally: Well, this was quite an invigorating race!
Kim: It sure was.
Wallace: Congratulations, son!
Wally: Daddy! You made it!
Wallace: I wouldn't miss it for the world! Now we must go home so
that you may continue to prepare to take over the crown!
Wally: Yes, actually, Daddy, there's something I've been meaning to
speak to you about. I decided that after you retire,
I would like run for president of our land!
Kim: Huh?
Wallace: Presidents don't get to wear the day coat with the ermine trim.
Wally: Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Oh, well, sacrifices must
be made. This contest has shown me that democracy is, as my
Middleton peeps would say, fun-diggity!
Wallace: Democracy?! But that means no more kings!
Ron: The prophecy! "The monarchy ends with Wallace the Third"! It came true!
Wallace: So it has.
Kim: Cool! Now you can go home and show the democracy thing.
Wally: No, Kim, I've decided to stay in Middleton and finish my term
as class president. It's a magnificent burden.
Ron: Wally's staying!
Kim: That's great... just great.