By wallaceb
Guy: ...So I said to 'em, I was like...
Hatchet: Kim Possible!
Kim: No, it can't be!
Hatchet: You have an overdue library book.
Kim: Ms. Hatchet, I can explain--
Hatchet: Shh! Quiet! I have a zero tardiness policy. Until this book is returned, your cheer leading activities are suspended. In the mean time, I will see you after school... in library lock-up!
Bonnie: Looks like someone won't be going to the semi-finals.
Kim: So not the drama, Bonnie. I'm sure the book's in my locker. The book's not in my locker. This is so the drama!
Ron: KP just heard. Kicked off the cheer squad. Give me the big.
Rufus: Aww.
Kim: Overdue library book.
Ron: Overdue? But you always return your books.
Kim: No time for chit chat, Ron. My cheer career's at stake. Maybe I left the book in chem lab.
Ron: KP doesn't lose things. I lose things.
Rufus: Mmm.
Ron: All the time. Aww man, I didn't...?
Kim: Ron, let's go, mission time.
Ron: Be right there. Ah, stupid straps.
Rufus: Hmm.
Ron: Brief History of Cheese!
Rufus: Cheese!
Ron: Oh, sounds like a page turner. Well, KP won't mind if I borrow it.
Kim: Ron, evil doesn't fight itself!
Ron: That was a month ago. I remember putting it in my backpack, but which mission did I take it on?
Wade: Are you sure about this, Ron?
Ron: Yeah. Look, right after I put the book in my backpack, we went after Killigan. I think.
Wade: So what is this book, anyway?
Ron: Brief History of Cheese.
Wade: Sounds like a gooda read!
Ron: Come on, serious biz here, Wade. Cut the cheese jokes.
Wade: Did you say cut the--?
Ron: Ha-ha. Yeah. Right. Look, just keep this all between you and me, okay? Kim would freak if she knew.
Wade: Gotcha.
Ron: Okay, I got another call. I gotta go, I gotta go. Hello?
Kim: Hey, Ron.
Ron: KP?! Ahhh! Oh, hey, Kim, I really can't talk right now. I'm uh--
Kim: Just got a sec. I'm stuck in library lock-up with Ms. Hatchet. Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I was snippy yesterday. It's not your fault I lost the book.
Ron: No, of course not. I mean it's not like I took it and lost it for you. I mean, oh hey, uh, gotta go. Dad's locked in the garage again. Need to get him out before he runs outta... clothes.
Kim: Runs out of clothes?
Hatchet: Ms. Possible. The Hatchet Decimal System isn't there for you to waste time jabbering.
Kim: Hatchet Decimal System? Don't you mean do--?
Hatchet: Ha! You wish. Start organizing!
Rufus: Coast clear.
Ron: You check under the furniture, I'll scan the bookcases. Nope. No. Ow! Paper cut. No. It's not here. Ah, noxious gas! Duff's on to us. Trying to... poison us.
Killigan: Who be gone there?
Ron: Eyes swelling... Nose burning... Tongue flailing...
Killigan: Oh, the Possible lassie's dipit.
Ron: That odor!
Killigan: You mean my lunch?
Ron: Lunch?
Killigan: Aye, I made the batch of me Gram Killigan's haggis. And in my castle, nobody says no to my deary Gram's haggis.
Ron: How many times is someone gonna feed me sheep's lungs cooked in its own stomach before they get that I don't like it? He's back with leftovers. Hide!
Wade: Hold up, Ron. It's me.
Ron: Wade?
Wade: Figured you could use some help finding that book. Plus, it gives me a chance to try out my new Wade-bot 2.0.
Ron: Looks the same to me. What's the--?
Wade: Stealth mode!
Ron: Oh, come on, Wade. Slap it! Oww!
Wade: Ooh, too hard?
Ron: A little.
Wade: I make two figures inside.
Ron: Drakken and Shego.
Wade: I'm also picking up some pretty big power readings.
Drakken: Now, the world will tremble as I activate my Centripetal Oscillator and control the Earth's orbit!
Shego: Third time's the charm, huh?
Drakken: Easy mistake. Who knew this thing took batteries? Shego, what have I told you about snooping around the lab?
Shego: Please, I'm toasting here.
Rufus: Uh oh!
Drakken: The weasel thing!
Wade: Activating stealth mode.
Ron: Um, yeah, good for you. But did you notice that it doesn't help me?!
Drakken: You're too late, sidekick!
Ron: The name's Ron.
Drakken: Like I care.
Wade: Got it.
Ron: Boo-ya is in the house!
Shego: So, your TV follows you around? Whatever. Where's Possible?
Ron: She's not my girlfriend!
Shego: Whoa, there. Never said she was.
Ron: Oooh. He-he-he. Awkward. I got one more cabinet to check.
Shego: Gah!
Drakken: Ha-ha-ha! Witness the might of my Centripetal-- Oww!
Ron: This tanks. No book!
Wade: Next stop: Professor Dementor's.
Kim: Hey, Wade.
Wade: What's up, Kim.
Kim: I'm wondering if you've heard from Ron? I haven't seen him all day.
Ron: Ahh! It's got me! Oh man, it's got me!
Wade: Ron? Um, haven't heard a peep.
Dementor: Ha-ha-ha! With my mutagenic plants, I will grow a new world. A world that I control! Ha-ha-ha!
Ron: Ow! Thorns! Thorns! Oh, they hurt with their poking! Oww!
Kim: Hey, wasn't that..?
Wade: A scream? Uh, yeah, playing some video games.
Ron: Oww! Oww!
Wade: Oooh, sorry guys.
Kim: What video game?
Ron: Posies! Why do they have to be posies?
Wade: Uh, Pollinator, bonus round. Gotta go!
Hatchet: Ah-he-Ahem.
Kim: Ah ha-ha. Busted.
Hatchet: I see we still have time for chit chat, Kimberly Ann. I'll keep that waggling tongue of yours busy.
Kim: Labels?
Hatchet: One for every book.
Kim: But I... Eww! Gorchy!
Ron: Not only did we know I didn't leave the book in Dementor's lab, but chrysanthemums? A lot of attitude going on there.
Rufus: Ah, plants, phooey!
Wade: It looks like the next place is Lord Monkey Fist.
Rufus: Uh oh, monkeys.
Ron: Eh, nothing to fear but fur itself.
Wade: What's he doing down there?
Ron: Usual stuff: Take over the world. I wanna be the monkey king. Blah, blah, blah. It's all about him.
Wade: Shouldn't we do something?
Ron: Eyes on the prize, Wade.
Monkey Fist: Today dawns the age of the Phantom Monkeys, with me as Supreme Monkey King!
Ron: Told ya. Monkey King. So predictable.
Wade: Ron, are you sure you took this book on a mission?
Ron: Dude, yeah, I... score! Here it is! I told you I'd find it! Neaner!
Monkey Fist: Fetch me the ancient text.
Ron: Ahh! Wrong book!
Monkey Fist: They're stealing the ancient text! Ninjas attack!
Wade: Uh oh.
Ron: Huh? What? Stop doing that!
Ron: Ahh!
Monkey Fist: Ron Stoppable.
Ron: You're the only one who ever get's my name right. I respect that.
Monkey Fist: Be that as it may, behold the might of the Phantom Monkeys! Huh? What sort of magic is this?!
Ron: The best kind...
Wade and Ron: ...Science!
Ron: Gotta get that book! Ahh! My backpack!
Wade: Ron, you had Kim's book with you the whole time?!
Ron: Oh. Ha-ha. Wow. I guess I never took it out of my backpack. He-he. It's good news, huh, Wade?
Monkey Fist: The ancient text. Now.
Rufus: Hi-yah!
Monkey Fist: My monkey idols!
Ron: Righteous monkey moves, little buddy! Boo-ya!
Kim: My lips are numb. Ron?
Ron: Shh.
Hatchet: The libraries closed!
Ron: Um, yes, hello. I just wanted to check out this book, A Brief History of Cheese. Oooh, what you know, it was right here on the shelf all along. Looks like you made a little mistake, Ms. Hatchet.
Hatchet: That's highly unlikely.
Kim: Apparently, the Hatchet Decimal System is flawed.
Hatchet: Hardly. Huh. Well, it appears you're free to go... for now. But there will come a day when you forget to return a book and I'll be waiting for you.
Ron: Wow, she's wound pretty tight, huh?
Kim: You have no idea.
Ron: Oh, hey, while you were stuck in library lock-up, Rufus and I were out saving the world from Monkey Fist.
Kim: Really?
Ron: Yep, he was gonna use this ancient text to take over the world.
Kim: Uh, Ron, this is my overdue cheese book. Where is the uh...?
Ron: Oh no.