Motor Ed

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By wallaceb
Mr. Dr P: Who’s up for some Chow-Fun?
Kim: Hey dad. Mom working late?
Mr. Dr P: Yep, up to her ears in brains.
Kim: How are things at your work?
Mr. Dr P: Eh, the usual. Test fired an ectoblastic beam, launched a deep space probe. Oh, and a new colleague started over in robotics, she has a boy your age….Felix I think.
Tweebs: Kim and Felix, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S…. gotta go!
Mr. Dr P: Let’s see, we have garlic bamboo beef, sweet and spicy shrimp, and General Sue’s… naked mole rat?
Rufus: Hmm.
Ron: Hmm, he Mr. Dr P.
Mr. Dr P: Ronald would you and Rufus like to stay for dinner again?
Rufus: OK!
Ron: Love to….Can’t.
Kim: We’re doing the Middleton fair tonight.
Ron: Soda water and soda crackers only.
Kim: you see, Ron had a… problem last year.
Ron: is this my 5th or 7th chilly cheese dog? Oh! Whoa! Tummy trouble! The clown sued. Kim: Ron had to swear he would never go the fair again on a full stomach again, and pay the dry cleaning.
Ron: Baggy pants… double charge.
Driver: Firing thrusters in three… two… wait… there’s something up ahead. Its, it’s a stop light? Come on, Come on. The X24 prototype gone!
Kim: Anything?
Ron: 100 percent hurl free KP.
Kim: Then tell it to Mr. Baggy Pants. Go Wade!
Wade: Are you in astronaught training?
Kim: Na, spiny ride at the fair.
Wade: Oh, it’s kinda making me dizzy.
Ron: Not me, I am welly in the belly.
Kim: What’s the sitch?
Wade: Major Kim, we have a hijacked shipment of high output iridium spark plugs from Germany, a stolen coolant nitrox injector, lifted from a freighter in the Sea of Japan.
Kim: A stolen nitro what’s it?
Wade: Prototype automotive components.
Kim: Er, car parts?
Wade: and the Mona Lisa is a doodle.
Kim: This is a guy thing, isn’t it?
Wade: Ask the guy who just boosted the experimental 24 cylinder supercharges Oxycoder Racing engine.
Kim: More car parts… Wade, why would anyone steal an oxy-cooler what’s-a-ma-call-it?
Wade: Somebody’s up to something Kim.
Kim: Well, that’s specific and helpful.
Ron: Kim, I’m crummy in the tummy. Have you seen Rufus?
Rufus: Ahh!
Ron: Whoa! Not a good place to hang.
Felix: Are you Kim Possible?
Kim: I’m sorry, do I know you?
Felix: My mom works for your dad. I’m Felix Renton.
Kim: Oh, hi, my dad told me about you. This is Ron.
Ron: Hold on, hold on, I’m this close to winning a giant inflatable base ball bat. Oh Yea! Huh?
Felix: Sorry, I am a champ rat smasher.
Ron: Hmm.
Rufus: Aw.
Kim: Hey, you wanna hit some rides with us Felix?
Felix: Ready to roll.
Kim: Oh…I, I didn’t notice you were in a… I mean, no body told me you were…
Ron: Hey, who’s up for the disorienter?
Felix: Whoa! I heard that is the bashinist ride ever.
Kim: We should probably work our way up to that one. Ron, maybe this is the year you should follow that dream, and take on the pie eating contest?
Ron: No way KP. No fair food! Whoaa!
Kim: Maybe we should hold off on the really intense rides?
Ron: Kim, I can handle it.
Kim: I’m trying to be sensitive to Felix’s condition.
Ron: why, does he have a weak stomach too?
Kim: The chair.
Ron: what of it? It probably gives him a motion sickness edge!
Kim: So Felix, what do you like to do other than extreme rotating?
Felix: Er, usual junk. Video games. Basket ball.
Kim: Basket Ball?
Felix: Sure, why not?
Kim: Well, I…wasn’t sure if you… hey look monster trucks tomorrow night in the arena.
Felix: you like monster trucks?
Kim: Oh, yea, I’m all about the monster trucks.
Ron: Kim, you never… ow! OK, as long as you can sit and not spin, I’m there.
Felix: don’t worry; I’ve got the sitting thing down. I’ll meet you at the gate. Kim?
Kim: Oh yea, I can’t wait.
Rufus: Belch. Hi.
Ed: Dude that shampoo smells like new wheels, seriously, I dig it. Ok, ok, dude, seriously, here’s the Motor Ed style. Business up front, party in the back, and the calm before the storm.
Delilah: OK hun, I’ll just shape it up.
Ed: Whoa! Delilah, foul! You don’t clip the lion’s mane while he roars, seriously. Exit my lair. Seriously!
Delilah: no more junk yard calls!
Ed: Doesn’t anyone on the state of New Jersey know how to style a mullet anymore?
Guy: it’s a dying art boss.
Ed: Whoa! Dude, is that the 24 banger? Woo-Hoo! Tops, bra, this rules so hard. Ah-Yea!
Guy: Yea, check this out. The boys and me were thinking, we might take a few days off, go down to shore, you know eat a hoagie. Or not. Whichever.
Ed: How’s my drivin’?
Guy: say again boss?
Ed: How is my drivin’?! Seriously!
Guy: You’re the best that ever burned rubber dude, your Motor Ed!
Ed: And yet, I’m not rippin’ down the turn pike right now. Am I?
Guy: no, no your not.
Ed: because?
Guy: We’ve got some serious OT to work?
Ed: we do if we are gunna build the world’s biggest basest of killer wheels.
Guy: Oh, wait, check this out. What if we were to all go out and jack some humongous Una-weld truck frames, wouldn’t that be cool?
Ed: Ah-come on! Woo, rock on! Lets do it to it! And I know just where to find them. Seriously I do.
Announcer: Hello mud lovers! Who’s ready to roll?
Felix: Ok, favorite video game?
Ron: No contest, Zombie Mayhem II.
Felix: Um, pause, I hope you meant to say Zombie Mayhem III?
Ron: Um, un-pause, I was actually referring to the superior 2nd installment of the series.
Felix: For real? Mayhem II doesn’t even have flame throwers.
Kim: Hey, check it out Felix; I downloaded this map of Middleton High, all the ramp accessible entries and elevators are marked in red.
Felix: Oh, wow, thanks Kim. That’s really thoughtful of you.
Ed: Ah-Yea!
Kim: Is that Part of the show?
Felix: Not likely.
Ed: These trucks are property of Motor Ed now, seriously, they are.
Guy: Check it out.
Ed: Comin’ through dude! Seriously.
Kim: Car part mystery solved. I need to barrow your tricycle thingy.
Ron: All terrain vehicle.
Kim: what ever.
Ron: Up for a ride?
Felix: Eh, it ain’t the dissorienter, but I’ll give it a shot.
Kim: Wade, I’m kind of in pursuit here.
Wade: I know. Grab your hair brush, and throw it in front of them.
Kim: hu, OK, if you say so. Great for split ends too.
Felix: Typical night for you guys?
Ron: Actually, it is.
Guy: Whoa!
Ron: We got your back KP!
Kim: Ron, what is Felix doing here? It’s too dangerous.
Ed: Sorry Red, you snooze, you loose. Seriously.
Kim: Ok, what was with that guy’s hair?
Felix’s Mom: I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that your dad’s a terrific guy.
Kim: Yea, the family took a vote, we’re keeping him. So your thing is?
Felix’s Mom: Advanced cyber robotics.
Kim: I love it!
Felix: Oh yea! You’re going down Stoppable!
Ron: Not if I accidentally hit the reset button.
Felix’s Mom: I’m so glad Felix found friends.
Kim: Oh because he’s…
Felix’s Mom: …new in town. And it’s hard to make friends for any kid.
Kim: Oh, yea, right, of course.
Felix’s Mom: you know it’s ok to feel a little uncomfortable about it.
Kim: Oh, um, about what?
Felix’s Mom: Felix being in a wheel chair.
Kim: No, I think it’s great. I mean, it’s awful. But… I’m going to stop talking now before I say some other stupid thing. Excuse me, I better take this.
Felix’s Mom: Kim, just relax.
Kim: Right, I’m relaxed. Wade?
Wade: I think I have an idea on our monster truck driver. Motor Ed, widely regarded as the most brilliant mechanical engineer in the country.
Kim: Didn’t quite fit in though.
Wade: Let’s just say the top secret government lab he worked at, had a dress code.
Guy: Ed, I’m afraid the mullet has to go.
Ed: No! Seriously bro! No, seriously yea!
Kim: have you ever noticed how many of my foes have hair issues?
Wade: Still not sure on how to find him?
Kim: Oh, we’re not going to find him, he’s going to find us. Wade, how fast can you spread a rumor?
Wade: As fast as I can type. 320 words a minute, last time I was clocked.
Kim: so all you have to do is start a rumor that my dad’s lab is working on some ferocious new engine part and Motor Ed will totally be drooling for it.
Ron: Boo-ya! Oh don’t bring that weak stuff into my neighborhood.
Felix: Yea, there’s more where that came from.
Ron: Well, keep it comin’ steal wheels.
Felix: Oh, another brick from oh yes he is in fact “Stoppable.”
Ron: woo, fast hands KP, wanna call winner?
Kim: Ron, what do you think you are doing?
Ron: Shooting hoops with Felix.
Kim: No, it looks like you are really trying to… you know
Ron: Win?
Kim: Exactly. You can’t.
Ron: Well, I know I’m down two buckets, but if I focus on rebounding and boxing out, I think that I can…
Kim: you’re acting like… like.
Ron: Like he’s just a normal person?
Kim: I’ve gotta just stop talking.
Felix: Hey Kim.
Kim: Hey.
Felix: You know, we better get over to the lab if we’re going to set that trap.
Kim: right, we better… we?
Ron: Yea, Felix wanted in on the action he even came up with a great for the fake part, “Turbonic Charger Valve.” Woo-Hoo!
Felix: Sounds state-of-the-art eh?
Kim: Yea, a guy thing. OK Felix, you go stand watch.
Felix: You mean sit watch. Kim, I’m just playing you.
Ron: Dude, good one. Hey, take Rufus with you; he’s a great look out.
Felix: Thanks.
Kim: Why does everything just come out wrong when I’m around Felix?
Ron: I don’t know, but man, you’ve been getting amped up.
Kim: Its, its, just that, I don’t know, I see him in that chair, and then I guess I feel like its not fair because I can walk, and he can’t, and so then…
Ron: You end up saying the positively worst thing possible?
Kim: I have so offended him, does he hate me?
Ron: Na just thinks you’re funny.
Kim: Swell.
Ron: The mouse has entered the trap.
Ed: The Turbonic Charger Valve, seriously, this is sweet.
Guy: Oh man, we don’t even know what is does yet.
Ed: Bro, why do you have to bring me down? Seriously. What ever it, with a name like that, it is sure to rock heavy! Oh-Yea!
Kim: OK, the pretend guitar solo ends now.
Ed: OK, bro, get her, get Red.
Ron: Whoa! Hoo! Ha!
Ed: My Valve! Seriously!
Felix: Hold on. Kim grab something!
Ron: Ahhhhh! Oof! Rufus!
Kim: Ron!
Felix: I’m on it.
Ed: I win!
Felix: You OK?
Kim: Yea, but no body is going to be happy when that crate is opened. We’ll find him Rufus.
Tim: Somebody called for you Kim.
Jim: A boy!
Both: ooo, Ooo-la-la!
Kim: Not now tweebs
Jim: Kim and Motor Ed sitting in a tree.
Kim: What did you say?
Jim: Motor Ed, that’s who called. Now put me down, or I’ll tell mom you blew off your biology test to save a village from a tilde wave last week.
Tim: The message is, “Bring me the Turbonic Charge Valve or else.”
Kim: Ron. Wade, got anything?
Wade: No, I was hoping he called you back.
Kim: I’m a cheerleader waiting by the phone for a guy with a mullet to call. Something is wrong with this picture. Hello?
Ed: Yo, Red.
Kim: Where is Ron?
Ed: Yea, your skinny dude, he’s here, hanging with me and the boys, he’s doing good, but that could change in a hurry. Seriously.
Ron: Kim! Get over here! And stop by the Beuno Nacho drive through on the way, I’m starvin’.
Guy: Wow, wow, wow, man, me too, put me down for a hoagie 12 inch with hot peppers and mayo. Anybody else want nothing’?
Wade: Keep talking, almost got a trace.
Ed: Hey Red, tell your computer guy not to waist his time on a trace, I’m shooting you a map.
Wade: He’s not as dumb as the hair style might lead you to think.
Ed: just bring the Turbonic Charger Valve,
Kim: Don’t have much choice do it?
Ed: Seriously? No! See you soon Red, seriously.
Felix: Did you find out where he’s holding Ron?
Kim: Near as we can tell a secret lair under a land fill in New Jersey.
Felix: I’m going with you.
Kim: Felix, no. it’s too…
Felix: too dangerous, I agree, way too dangerous for you to go alone.
Kim: You’re right, let’s move.
Felix: So you just call in a favor, and get a ride like any where in the world?
Kim: I’m lucky that way. You ok back there Felix?
Felix: Kim! Look out! To answer your question, I’m doing OK back here, and you?
Kim: I can’t complain, I have great backup. So anything look like an entrance to secret lair to you?
Guy: welcome to the garden state.
Kim: Where did that come from?
Felix: Eh, my mom tricked out the chair a little, advanced cyber robotics remember?
Ed: Red?
Rufus: Hello.
Ed: A bald rat with buck teeth? Bro, seriously, your disgusting me. Wow little bald bro! Is that the Turbonic Charger Valve?
Rufus: Hmm-hmm. Yea.
Ron: Kim! Felix! So what did you bring me? A Chimereto? Naco?
Kim: Come on.
Felix: She’s not kidding Ron, these guys are dangerous.
Ron: Ok, ok, I’ll try one of these so called “hoagies”.
Felix: Does he always loose focus like this during a mission?
Ron: What?
Kim: More monsters. Great.
Ed: Ahhh-Yea! Introducing Motor Ed and his indescribable of totally rockin’ bashin’ killer monster trucks. Oh, you can have your little rat back.
Ron: Got you buddy.
Ed: Don’t you even want to know my plan? I mean come on? Seriously.
Kim: I thought this was just random destruction.
Ed: I’m gunna crush stuff, and keep on crushin’ it until I turn whole world into one humongous rockin’ scrap yard
Kim: Sounds a lot like random destruction.
Ed: Ah that’s foul Red. I’m gunna start by crushing you.
Kim: Felix, just stay behind me and… wow!
Ron: Flying! Yea! I told you he was cool!
Kim: K?
Ed: Whoa, Ahhh! This is bogus Red. A man should not be booted off hi ride.
Kim: Quit calling me Red, seriously.
Ed: But Red? Ahhh! Oof!
Kim: Oh, I warned him.
Felix: Thanks for the back up Possible.
Ed: This is so rank. Seriously.
Ron: No fancy cyber chair stuff.
Felix: Oh, like I need that to beat you? Got game Possible?
Kim: Oh, I cam to play Felix.
Felix: Bring it on Possible, bring it on.