Mad Dogs and Aliens

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By wallaceb
Ron: And now, a moment of silence.
Kim: Ahh! Oh!
Ron: I said silence people! We are all about to witness a historic moment.
Bonnie: You mean the moment when you get squad slapped into next week?
Ron: Oh, it’s the playful comradely that I’ll miss the most.
Kim: Um, Ron?
Ron: Face it KP, I can’t be the team mascot if I am on the team. And so, it is with a heavy heart that we must retire the Middleton Mad Dog. Anyone like to say a few words?
Bonnie: How about good riddance?
Kim: Ron’s Mad Dog was a hit with the crowd and um… his mouth foaming antics are sure to be missed.
Ron: End of an era. Thank you Kim.
Kim: You know Bonnie, you could show a smidge of sympathy.
Bonnie: Looser dog’s leaving? Oh what ever shall we do? Well now, I’ve got an idea.
Tweebs: Hic-a-bica-bow-wow.
Ron: Jim and Tim?!
Bonnie: with all that youthful energy they’ll be just perfect don’t you think?
Lucre: So anyway, I was in line behind big Tony you know wit the glandular problem? And he takes two puddings. Two! And the guard didn’t even bust hi for it. I tell ya, the money this prison wastes, its criminal. Oh hey! King me. Say anyway….
Drakken: Do you mind? Your ignescent prattle is throwing my game. Imagine an evil genius of my magnitude forced to squander his days playing checkers with the best and brightest of cell block D.
Lucre: Oh! Some bodies on fire.
Drakken: Prio Pete freaking out again?
Lucre: No, I think you’re going to win.
Drakken: I am? Ha! I am! Ha! Finally. One more move and… what! Eh, I wonder who’s breaking Shego out this time.
Guy: There’s a green lady out there. She’s looking for you.
Drakken: Shego. About time! Ahhh!
Lucre: Hey, who’s up for some checkers?
Kim: You know I was skeptical at first. But I think Jim and Tim are doing a great job as the new mascots.
Ron: Yea, great job making like fools.
Kim: Ron… did you ever look at yourself in the mirror?
Ron: Yea, but two mascots? It’s not working people. Mad puppies? Cheap gimmick.
Kim: This from the mouth foam pioneer?
Ron: Exactly. The foaming at the moth was the kind of genius that reaches out and touches the audience. And gets them foamy!
Kim: Right. Hey Wade!
Wade: Well Kim, it’s happened. Somebody finally busted out Drakken.
Ron: Oh man.
Wade: Details are sketchy. But guards reported a green woman using energy blasts.
Kim: Shego? Match. And you tracked them?
Wade: Nothing on Drakken. But Shego’s credit cards are getting a work out.
Ron: Shego has credit cards?
Wade: And a surprisingly good credit score for a villain.
Kim: Strange, you’d think after the prison break she’d be keeping it low pro.
Wade: Or taking a little time off. Say at an exclusive spa at Greece?
Ron: Save the world, unwind with nacos and a movie. Bust a villain out of prison it’s the hoity touty ticket to spa vill.
Kim: Saving the world has other perks too.
Ron: Such as?
Kim: cuter boyfriends.
Ron: He-he oh… he-he. A bo-ya.
Kim: Ron!
Ron: Ah!
Shego: I’m on vacation! And I’m trying to relax! Toss em’ another one. Go ahead.
Ron: Hey! He threw another rock at us. Ow! A hot rock! He threw hot rock at us!
Shego: Oh! This is relaxing.
Kim: Vacation’s over Shego.
Shego: That’ll be all Mitus. Do you know how hard it is to get an appointment with him?
Kim: Maybe you should have thought of that before you sprung Drakken.
Shego: Who do you think I am vacationing from?
Ron: Ah. Okay I got… oh… failure has never sounded so soothing.
Kim: How about a facial?
Shego: Gha!
Ron and Rufus: Ahhh!
Ron: Ok, I can’t see! I can’t… oh wait a second.
Ron and Rufus: Ahh!
Ron: He-he.
Kim: Last time, where’s Drakken?
Shego: What am I? His secretary?
Kim: No, his sidekick.
Shego: Not since prison.
Kim: You mean last night’s visit to cell block D?
Ron: See, it’s the Mad Dog, The Mad Dog. Singular, not two! So puppies which is plural doesn’t work. No way! No how!
Guy: It’s a gimmick.
Ron: Yes! Exactly! It’s a gim… that’s what I said! Now the mouth foam on the other hand.
Shego: Ok, I’ve got a salt blow in five, so listen to my words… I’m not helping Drakken! And I don’t know who is! Me, va-ca-tion…
Ron: But…
Shego: Vacation!
Guy: Well, I’m convinced.
Kim: But if it wasn’t Shego, then…
Kim and Ron: Who busted out Drakken?
Warmonga: For the last time, you must answer Warmonga. Are you the great blue?
Drakken: Nice green lady. He-he-ah-de.
Warmonga: Warmonga intercepted your transmission.
Drakken: Wha… what transmission? What are you talking about?
Drakken signing on TV: Freaky Shampoo! Rather Rinse and Obey! It’s time to wash your hair today. You may think I’m a villain, you aren’t just chillin, come and let me hear you say Lather Rinse and Obey! I’m a playa just playing his name, my pilots in a rap song, time to get your wash on. With Dr. D’s brain washing shampoo and cranium rinse. Forshizy it’s off the hizzey.
Drakken: Oh that, eh, don’t remind me.
Warmonga: I am Warmonga. If the Warlordians.
Drakken: Y-y-yes.
Warmonga: Warlordian prophecy foretells of “The Great Blue” he who will reach out to our kind from beyond the stars.
Drakken: Yea, well, good luck with that. Um, if you could just drop me off at the next town, or whatever’s convenient he-he.
Warmonga: So it is not you. You are not the great blue to whom Warmonga should pledge her loyalty.
Drakken: Well…
Warmonga: And promise her vast array of technology and weaponry.
Drakken: Weapons?
Warmonga: The Great Blue who will lead our mighty military in glorious intergalactic conquest.
Drakken: Glory? Oh, that great blue? Yes, that’s me! I, Dr. Drakken am the great blue!
Warmonga: Oh joyous day! Warmonga knew it! Oh-oh Warmonga just knew it! Ha-ha-ha!
Tweebs: Huh?
Ron: Mad Dog Mascot 101 is now in session; fall in soldiers, dog soldiers.
Tweebs: Hum?
Ron: Come on! Bark! Bark! Bark!
Jim: Ron?
Ron: Rookie! Did I give permission to speak?
Jim: Permission to speak?
Ron: Denied! You think you got what it takes to be Middleton mascots? Well, we’ll just see about that!
Tim: We were thinking about calling ourselves the “Pet Puppies” and…
Ron: Ha-ha! No! No puppies. There’s only one Mad Dog. The Mad Dog!
Tim: But…but…
Ron: I will teach you the mastery of mascotery. But first you have to fit my mold.
Jim: Suuuuure.
Tim: No problem Mad Dog.
Ron: That’s the Tude! Ha-ha. And you know what, work on those twitchy eyes while you’re at it boys.
Warmonga: So this is the legendary lair of the Great Blue. It is just how Warmonga always imagined it. Such good taste.
Drakken: Yet ever so humble.
Warmonga: Warmonga! Warmonga can bench 1300 qualocks.
Drakken: That many?
Warmonga: Oh Frackle.
Drakken: My… my lair.
Warmonga: If it places the great blue, Warmonga can assemble a new lair.
Drakken: You can’t just throw up a liar… in a day. Alien tech rules! No hugs!
Kim: What’s wrong there big dog? Hey! No putting people in containment fields! Remember?
Jim: Not our fault.
Tim: It’s just that Ron’s really…
Jim: Buggin’.
Kim: Ron, where you buggin’?
Ron: Look, we can’t undo the past people!
Kim: Whatever, listen Wade ran a search on all known green women on earth and he came up with Shego and the spokes woman for the asparagus advisory counsel. And they both have alibis. You’re still dwelling aren’t you?
Ron: “Pet Puppies”? That trash has to be put out.
Jim: Trash?! We’ll see about that!
Kim: Ron, maybe you’re taking this whole mascot thing a little too…
Ron: Lightly?
Kim: Personally.
Ron: It is personal Kim! This is my legacy. I mean the Pet Puppies are going to be a laughing stock.
Kim: You really couldn’t see out the big Mad Dog head so much could ya?
Drakken: New toys! Gravy! Um, War… Warmonga? What are these things exactly?
Warmonga: Standard issue world domination munitions. Annihilatron, treberator, neural atomic disabler.
Drakken: Oh! Santa would never bring me one of those.
Warmonga: Oh Frackle. Warmonga forgot one. This one depletes a planet of oxygenated atmosphere. Has Warmonga pleased the great blue?
Shego: Great Blue? I mean, I’ll give you blue, but great? Ah… not so much. Wow! Some one’s been drinking their milk.
Drakken: Warmonga, this is Shego the sidekick who didn’t break me out of prison.
Warmonga: Sidekick? Oh, so you too pledged your being to the great blue?
Shego: Hmm-hmm seriously what planet are you from?
Warmonga: Warmonga hails from Warlordia victor in the battle of the 13 moons on Jingos.
Shego: Super… you know how to pick em doc. Though I do like what she’s done with the place.
Drakken: Warmonga, show her the door.
Warmonga: Hm, yea if you guide your vision to the left of our reactor core you can see our primary entrance.
Drakken: No Warmonga, I meant have her exit through the door.
Warmonga: Oh.
Shego: Hey!
Drakken: Yes well, I did not mean literally through the actual door but…
Shego: Grr! Alright, I’m game, lets play!
Drakken: Eh, this is why we can’t have nice things.
Warmonga: Warmonga!
Shego: No you didn’t.
Drakken: Your alien might at my disposal I will truly be invincible.
Warmonga: Should Warmonga show her the door?
Drakken: No I want her to see me do the one thing she never could.
Warmonga: The great blue can do anything!
Drakken: Yes! Once and for all I will eradicate my long time teen nemesis, Kim Possible! She is still a teen right? I lost track of time in the hoose cow.
Cheer Squad: M-I-D-D-L-E-T-O-N go Middleton!
Ron: Pet Puppi… gha!
Kim: Oh! Kinda a bad time Wade.
Wade: Sorry, we got a hit on the site.
Kim: Urgent?
Wade: Drakken!
Kim: On the move?
Wade: On the site! I’ll patch you the feed.
Drakken: Hello Kim Possible, perhaps you recognize the nemesis you left to rot in prison? Dr. Drakken? Cell Block D? Home of the annoying cell mate!
Shego: Digressing!
Drakken: Shut it Shego. You’re here mealy to witness and weep.
Shego: What? You mean you really aren’t gonna interrupt?
Warmonga: We do not interrupt the great blue.
Shego: Sure we do! We’re the evil sidekick we’re all about the interrupting. Ain’t the right Dr D?
Drakken: Gha! Zip it! Now where was I? Evil genius, rotting in prison, yes! Yes the rotting!
Shego: See? See? See now you do it.
Warmonga: Never!
Drakken: My new doomsday device will steal all the oxygen from the earth’s atmosphere. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me in t-minus 60 minutes and… grr! And counting! Any minute now!
Shego: Oh come on, you’re not letting that one go? Hello? This is mocking gold! Oh!
Warmonga: Warmonga will not mock the great blue.
Drakken: I got it!
Shego: Now see that? You missed your mock window.
Kim: Clearly he’s rusty.
Wade: not even hiding his location, Kim, it’s obviously a trap.
Kim: Yea, but if Drakken wants his chance at revenge, he’s going to get it, and a one way ticket back to cell block D.
Ron: Huh? Stinking Pet Puppies! Ow! Time out.
Kim: Gotta jet. Drakken.
Ron: In the middle of the game? Man, now he’s just rude.
Kim: I can handle this one.
Ron: Really? Ok. But you know it’s not the same without you here cheering.
Kim: You’ve got the Pet Puppies.
Ron: Eh, please! You know what the worst thing about those puppies is?
Kim: That they’re actually pretty good. And you’re jellin.
Ron: Stop that.
Kim: What?
Ron: The truth thing.
Kim: Ron, you’ve moved on… to the field. Now they’re cheering for you. You should be happy.
Wade: Bop-dop-dum-dum!
Ron: Wade!
Wade: Hey guys.
Ron: Dude! You fixed the battle suit?!
Wade: Not just fixed, improved. Check the new stealth mode.
Kim: Sweet.
Drakken: Hmm, what’s keeping her? I want my victory.
Shego: Like you could even handle Kimmie without me.
Drakken: ooo! I think some bodies jealous.
Shego: Hey, I’m just sticking around to see the cheerleader kick your great big blue…
Drakken: Shego! It’s not going to happen. Because Kim Possible will never be expecting my secret weapon.
Kim: Oh? And what secret weapon is that?
Drakken: Gha! How did you? Where did you come from? You’ve got your secrets, I’ve got mine. Huh? You’re not Shego.
Shego: You think?
Kim: You’re so…so… eh…
Drakken: Kim Possible, meet my new interstellar sidekick Warmonga.
Kim: As in alien?
Shego: Ten four on that.
Kim: I thought you were on vacation?!
Shego: I wouldn’t call this “on the clock”.
Warmonga: You will bow to the great blue or suffer the wrath of Warmonga.
Kim: They play catch on your planet?
Drakken: Too bad, so sad Kim Possible. Now I can do anything.
Kim: Except stay out of jail!
Warmonga: It was you who imprisoned the great blue. Warmonga!
Drakken: Ah! See Shego? Warmonga is better than you.
Warmonga: Warmonga strikes this blow in the name of the great blue…
Shego: Oh, no you don’t.
Drakken: Shego what are you doing? I am about to snatch victory.
Shego: I am not going to let this she thing waltz in and destroy Kimmie, that’s my job! You hear me? This alien would follow a blue sock puppet if it said it was the great blue.
Tweebs: Run!
Ron: Oh! The running!
Wade: Ron! I just got a call on the kimmunicator.
Ron: Is Kim okay?
Wade: It wasn’t Kim.
Warmonga: Warmonga strikes this blow in the name of the great blue
Kim: Now you see her, now you don’t.
Warmonga: Hey… wow.
Drakken: Ha! I hope you can hold your breath for a really really really long time.
Warmonga: Gha!
Drakken: No! Not again! You can’t possibly be all that Kim Possible. You’re not! You’re not! You’re not! Fine he-he, destroy my lair, ruin my schemes, but I still have my loyal alien.
Blue Puppy on TV: Hello? Hello? Ehm, I seek the one named Warmonga, meet me on um… Pluto. I am the great blue. Repeat, I am the great blue.
Warmonga: But if he is the great blue then…. You lie to Warmonga!
Drakken: It’s cool! It’s cool, hey come on, chill out. I’m blue, ha-ha. I’m great, I’m… no!
Warmonga: Grr.
Drakken: NO! Warmonga!
Tweebs and Ron: Bo-ya!
Kim: Spankin! But how did you guys know?
Shego: Lose something?
Kim: The Kimunicator? Shego? You clued Ron into the puppet plan? Nice.
Shego: Don’t get to chummy there cupcake, I just want to get back to the spa. Mitis has the eh… golden touch. But next time, you’re mine.
Kim: We’ll see about that.
Ron: You know, I really think the Pet Puppies are coming into their own.
Jim: You mean it?
Ron: Yea, in fact I wanted you guys to have something.
Jim: Your mouth foam?
Tim: Really?!
Ron: You know if you really wanted to use it.
Jim: People have been asking for it.
Kim: I think someone owes me a diversion, of the dating kind.
Ron: Nacos and movie?
Rufus: Yum!
Kim: Sounds out of this world.
Motor Ed: When I say this ride rocks, I mean it rocked heavy metal seriously! No but dude we’re talking V8 engine, duel overhead cam shafts, 385 horse power under the hood. You know what I am saying?
Lucre: No! I have no idea what you’re saying. You just go on and on and on and on and on and on about things that no body even cares about.
Motor Ed: Dude, you’re hashing my prison mellow here seriously.
Lucre: And would you stop saying that word?! Totally new.