Fashion Victim

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By wallaceb
Ron: Whoa! So what are the chances they are not after us?
Kim: They’re black helicopters Ron, They’re always after us. Head for the fort!
Ron: I’m on it. Rufus, wing man me.
Rufus: Okay!
Kim: Nice color, wrong tube. Take it away Wade.
Wade: I gotcha.
Ron: Whaaa! Whoa! Nice catch KP!
Dementor: Frouline Possible.
Ron: Und sidekick.
Rufus: And wing man!
Kim: Free the Duke Dementor.
Dementor: So you want the Duke do you? Ok.
Kim: Really? No fighting?
Dementor: Unfortunately, my capering crew’s egregious accounting error. A Duke’s ransom isn’t worth half a King’s and the helicopter drones and nano-jet packs, I’m loosing millions.
Ron: Nano-Jet packs?
Kim: You had to ask?
Duke: I say, thanks for dashing to my rescue with such haste.
Kim: No big.
Ron: Uh-oh, new world crisis?
Kim: No worse, we’re late for work.
Monique: Hey Kim, how was the mish?
Kim: How’d you know?
Monique: Mission hair.
Kim: Thanks. Is the manager here? I need her to sign my time card.
Monique: I can do that for you now that I’ve been promoted to assistant manager!
Kim: No Way!
Manager: Monique, Club Banana’s chief designer is coming to our store.
Monique: Coco-banana here?
Manager: Yes! So assemble and dress the manikins quickly for…
Coco: Coco-banana is here.
Manager: Oh, Mr. Banana what a pleasure.
Coco: Hand shake. Coco-banana has brought the new fall designs for the fall collection. Please no faint.
Monique: May we gasp?
Coco: you may.
Monique: The fall collection!
Coco: Three quarter sleeves, 3 tunic trim from… last season.
Monique: Yes Mr. Banana sir.
Coco: Vintage Club B. Coco says props.
Monique: Oh thank you.
Coco: Come labor force, Coco-banana will unveil the designs.
Manager: Um, management only.
Monique: Sorry girl, I’ll 411 you later.
Manager: Um, confidentiality agreement.
Coco: you will say nothing to no one.
Kim: Huh, fall collection, I am not jealous. Nope, no jellin here.
Ron: Whoa, ok from the beginning KP. You know I’m at work and got nothing but time.
Kim: Well, it all stated when Coco-banana…
Ron: Sorry Kim, gotta go, the Lemurs are in.
Barkin: Stoppable!
Ron: Mr. Barkin?
Announcer: Price check on Pop Pop Porter’s freeze dried chicken stickletes.
Ron and Barkin: 2 for a dollar 99. You work here?
Barkin: House wares, 14 years this June.
Ron: Pets, 14 hours this week, but but, why do you?
Barkin: The gig and Middleton High is just for the benefits. This is my true passion.
Ron: House wares really?
Barkin: Helping a customer choose between a muffin pan and a mini muffin pan, too beautiful for words. Uh-oh, store manager!
Manager: You there! Good close one that price check there.
Barkin: Thanks Mr. Stockwell.
Manager: No you Barkin, our new employee, the one with promise and potential. A clear candidate for employee of the month.
Ron: That would be the bon-digiest! But, but how would that work? Today being the 16th and all.
Manager: Ha-ha! And a sense of humor to boot. You are going places son.
Announcer: Clean up on isle 12. Code T.
Barkin: T… Toxic. He’s right Stoppable, you are going places, mop isle 12, don’t get any on ya.
Ron: Yes Mr. Barkin I… hey, just a minimum wage minute, no orange tie, no auhtoritage,
Barkin: What are you babbling about?
Ron: Management wares orange ties Mr. B, and you, no orange tie. Translation, you are not the boss of me.
Rufus: You-ho. Oh school, tea you are the boss of me.
Barkin: And you’ll write that 500 times on the chalk board today in detention!
Kim: Come on Monique, fall collection. Can’t you sitch me on the hot and the not?
Monique: Sorry Kim, I told you, I signed a confidentiality agreement, I can’t spill girl.
Kim: We’ll see about that. Update on that contract Wade.
Wade: its air tight Kim.
Kim: No loop holes?
Wade: even if I found one, according to article 35 I couldn’t tell you.
Ron: Even the loop holes are confidential.
Wade: I can’t comment on that.
Kim: Oh!
Ron: Full house! A-Boo-Yaa! Now Dixie, sore loser doesn’t exactly say “take me home” Ok, ok, some one needs a T-O.
Manager: What is going on over here?
Barkin: Clearly the new kid is irritating the stock, the live stock.
Little Boy: Mommy mommy! I want an angry gorilla!
Mom: Ok darling, let’s get a shopping cart.
Manager: Nice sales strategy son.
Ron: Well, you know. Some times it just comes to me.
Manager: Did you check the roster, you got stock room duty today.
Ron: Oh, I thought I was supposed to move these Lemurs?
Manager: No need my boy, we are running a special, a free Lemur with every coffee maker. We can’t keep the little fur balls in stock. Barkin, show our star sales man where the stock room is.
Barkin: Ha-ha, my pleasure. Right this way… star.
Ron: Ah, gee Mr. B, that’s nice of you. Considering you not have an ounce of controlage over me and all.
Barkin: Welcome to the jungle.
Ron: I have to organize all this stuff?
Barkin: Well, for some one on the fast track to employee of the month I’m sure you’ll have it whipped into shape in no time.
Announcer: Price check on cotton saltine dust ruffles.
Barkin: 14 or 18 inch drop? I better take this.
Manager: Can you believe the yummy colors on the fall coats?
Monique: It’s like a rainbow of retail perfection!
Kim: You know, I’m pretty good with keeping secrets. In fact, if the safety of the world depends on it, so if um, fall collection?
Manager: Uh… not gunna happen.
Kim: Huh, then I guess I’ll clock out and pick up Ron. I’m sure he’s got all kinds of new Lemur stories. I wish those were confidential.
Monique: Kim, you know you’re not supposed to be in there. Kim!
Ron: Inventory Kim, two stories high!
Kim: So you sort, you pile, you trash? Like when you cleaned your room.
Ron: You promised never to talk of that dark day.
Kim: Hey Monique.
Monique: Hey Monique? Hey Monique?!
Kim: Um, reason for the tude?
Monique: I get you a job at my store and this is how repay me?
Wade: Uh, guys?
Kim: What are you talking about?
Monique: Don’t front with me girl, I saw you with my own eyes.
Kim: Saw me what?
Monique: Leaving the manager’s office, I caught you eyeing those designs.
Kim: I did not!
Monique: Oh, I guess it was just identical twin right?
Wade: Or, Camille Leon.
Kim and Monique: Camille Leon?
Ron: Isn’t she in jail?
Wade: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Apparently, she shape shifted into a guard and escaped.
Ron: Ok, who didn’t see this coming? Besides the guards? And us.
Wade: Ill see if I can uh… hey!
Guy: Kim Possible?
Kim: Uh, maybe.
Guy: Officer Twill and Tweed. We’ll like to ask you some questions.
Ron: Ha-ha, what are you, the fashion police?
Tweed: Affirmative, and that sports jersey is a serious violation.
Ron: You’re writing me a ticket?
Rufus: Uh-hu.
Tweed: But uh, half cred on the pocket pet, they’re hot this season.
Kim: So what’s the drama officers?
Coco: My new fall designs stolen! But that would make Coco-Banana a… fashion victim! Tears!
guy starts to cry
Kim: Camille’s trying to =frame me for stealing the designs.
Ron: Nothing spruces up a caper like a little revenge along the way.
Tweed: So you deny any involvement in this crime?
Kim: Match, the woman you want is Camille Leon.
Tweed: The disinherited celebrity debutante?
Twill: Best dressed celeb three years in a row according to her style file.
Tweed: Check the Crenel and pencil skirt, she’s arresting.
Kim: You mean she should be arrested? Camille has those designs, she’ll be looking to sell them.
Twill: Copy that, we’ll follow up on the tip, but keeping an eye on you. 682 in progress
Tweed: Ugh, knee highs with flip flops.
Ron: Okay, even I know that’s wrong.
Kim: Wade?
Wade: Already on it Kim. You’re ride’s hovering out side.
Kim: Where to this time?
Wade: The one place Camille can get top dollar for stolen designs, Milan, home of the fashion under ground.
Ron: We’re going to Italy! Boo-ya!
Kim: I thought Smarty Mart had you on stock room duty?
Ron: Oh man, you know way to undo the Bo-ya.
Monique: That’s ok Ron, I’ll sub.
Kim: Oh, um, thanks but um, I can handle.
Monique: Hey, Camille played me too.
Kim: I’d love to stay and lecture on the dangers of mission work but Milan calls.
Monique: I think that girl just ditched me.
Rufus: Thanks.
Barkin: Stoppable?
Ron: Hey Mr. B. just taking 5.
Barkin: Question, just when do you plan on beginning the actual work?
Ron: Excuse me? I spent the last 2 sixties organizing this stuff into three piles. Miscellaneous stuff, other miscellaneous stuff and stuff I might want to buy with my discount, 2% off right?
Barkin: Stoppable, tip this into your nacho cheese head, every item must be logged and shelved according department, not personal preference.
Ron: Ah man, now you tell me! Should not have done that.
Ron and Barkin: Ahhh!
Ron: Oo! Close one. Thought we were going to be trapped in the stock room.
Barkin: Yea, lucky us. That would be much worse than being trapped in a crate!
Wade: I can’t let you launch Dr. Fusion, world security is on hand. Just try and stop me dino man! Oh Monique?!
Monique: So many levels of wrong. And aren’t action figures a little low tech for you?
Wade: Their holograms aren’t complete yet. You won’t tell anyone right?
Monique: You get me to Milan and I will keep Dino man and the Purple Pigs of the DL.
Wade: Your ride, student parking lot.
Ron: Eh-eh-eh there’s no way out Mr. Barkin!
Barkin: Stop your squirming Stoppable, and look for a light source.
Ron: Well it’s sort of hard to focus when there’s a flash light wedged in your back. Pain! Ow!
Barkin: Give me that.
Ron: Oh, thanks Mr. B. much better. Mr. Barkin, your stubbleage is… oh how long have we been in here?!
Barkin: Oh about 19 minutes. I uh, have to shave often.
Ron: How often?
Barkin: Uh, 15 times a day. Would you cut the chatter? I need to formulate a plan.
Ron: Already got one. Help! Some body help!
Barkin: That’s not a plan.
Ron: Not the boss of me. Heeelllp!
Barkin: No one can hear us man, it’s just you and me, and a cow.
Ron: What is all this stuff anyway?
Barkin: Appears to be returns. Merchandise that has been returned.
Ron: Where does it get returned to?
Barkin: To the returns ware house over seas.
Wade: Global positioning places the entrance to the fashion underground some where in that building.
Kim: As lairs go it’s um… pretty.
Twill: Interesting, every time we follow a clue of stolen fashion designs, it leads to you. Why is that?
Kim: Because we’re on the same case?
Tweed: We’re the fashion police Miss Possible, you can’t pull the marina wool over or eyes.
Kim: Good thing, or you wouldn’t see those women their outfits… criminal.
Twill and weed: Where?!
Twill: I’m going in, cover me.
Kim: Gosh, thanks a mill. Monique? I thought we agreed it would be too dangerous for you to be here?
Monique: Don’t even try to float the danger boat with me girl, you don’t want me here because you’re jealous that I got to see the designs and you didn’t. Tell me we are not in a sewer.
Kim: That’s it! I am officially gha!
Monique: I-I Kim, are you even listening to me?
Kim: Besides your little surprise, what’s the sitch? What kind of security are we looking at here?
Wade: The Fashionistsas use the latest in auto sensory defenses.
Kim: The Fashionistas?
Monique: You don’t know the Fashionistas?
Kim: Should I?
Wade: Sending profiles.
Monique: Espadrille, Hoodie, Chino, they copy the brand name designer fashions and sell knock offs around the world. They run the fashion under ground.
Kim: Oh, uh, sorry.
Monique: See missions may be your bag, but fashion you assist.
Wade: The Fashionistas will make millions flooding the market with their counterfeit fashion.
Kim: All thanks to Camille and her stolen designs. Well, um, Monique, not that I don’t have a plan B, but how would you get us into the under ground?
Monique: Camille imitated you, a head back is fair game.
Kim: Poppin.
Ron: I can’t believe we’re headed over seas. We can head up in a whole other country.
Barkin: Stoppable, quit your whining and give me a hand with our base camp. Here, use this trenching shovel and start our herb garden.
Ron: Herb garden? Uh, don’t we need like herbs for that? You know and a garden.
Barkin: We’ll harvest the soil from our socks.
Ron: Uh Mr. Barkin, you felling ok? This crate’s not getting to you is it?
Barkin: Of course not! And why do you keep calling me that?
Ron: Mr. Barkin?
Barkin: He’s Mr. Barkin!
Ron: Moo?
Espadrille: There, my blog on updating the yoga pad, done and done.
Hoodie: Whoa, look whose back. And sporting a new accessory.
Kim as Camille: Is that like our fall collection?
Hoodie: First shipment, it’s tomorrow.
Espadrille: So many pirates, so little time.
Camille: Yo-hoo! Fashion friends!
Chino: Camille?
Camille: Greets! Just came for more green. I’ve already spent yesterday’s score. Oh that while foreign exchange thingy so confusing. As if I was a mathamagician.
Chino: But if you’re Camille.
Espadrille: The who is she?
Camille: Eh, clearly a poser. They’re a dime a doz, I mean who wouldn’t want to be me?
Kim: Props on the look GF, but I am the real Camille.
Camille: Please, it took like a life time to perfect this. Nice try wanna be me. But if any one knows a knock off, it’s the Fashionistas.
Barkin: Tuesday, 1300, I’m surrounded behind enemy lines. Operation Desert Trout is in danger. Code named Ron Stoppable has crossed over to the other side.
Ron: Hey, at least I’m not the one talking into a rubber chicken… eh this time.
Barkin: Rubber chicken! Rubber chicken! No Mayday mayday mayday!
Ron: I know, not looking good.
Monique: Uh what now Kim?
Camille: Eh Kim? As in Possible?
Kim: Oh very good Camille.
Monique: Say girl, my battle skills aren’t quite in abound.
Kim: Play to your strengths Monique. Uh, accessorize.
Monique: On it.
Hoodie: Nice moves Possible. I may design a track suit after you.
Kim: Design? Don’t you mean steal?
Hoddie: What evs.
Camille: Oh please, these will never sell.
Monique: New knot, you like?
Espadrille: Erg, yes.
Hoddie: Cute look, but it needs a belt!
Monique: I disagree, the belt, too much. So yea Kim, that whole danger turns out you know your stuff.
Kim: So do you. I was jealous you got to see the designs, forgive?
Monique: Forgive but um, can we pick this up later?
Hoddie: Sorry to crash the kiss and cry, but this is Biz.
Kim: And we’re putting you out of it. Monique, the designs!
Monique: Kim look out!
Kim: Whoa!
Monique: Ron?
Ron: Monique!
Monique: Is that Mr. Barkin?
Barkin: Sweet lady oxygen! Breath with me Stoppable! Breath!
Twill: Fashion Police, halt!
Tweed: Code red, I repeat, code red. Send in immediate reinforcements.
Monique: Oh oh sure, now you arrive.
Twill: We’re trained in co tour, not combat.
Kim: What’s happening Monique?
Ron: KP!
Kim2: I’ll tell you what’s happening, Camille attacked me. Ron?
Twill: They both showed up in the same outfit.
Tweed: How humiliating.
Monique: Two Kim’s, which one is real?
Ron: Hmm, that one! You know I may not know where we are, or what’s going on, but I know my own girl friend.
Kim: No Ron, you don’t.
Monique: Just a minute, Patton shoes, 100% silk blouse, arrest her!
Tweed: Why? I think it works.
Monique: Because this is Camille Leon! Your thief.
Twill: There’s your color.
Camille: But prison is so like… lame! Oh can’t I do house arrest in one of those yummy villas in Tuscany?
Kim: Good eye, Monique.
Ron: Ok look, the crate trappage may have affected my judgment. I was sitting with a cow! He was talking to a chicken and the…
Kim: Hmm-hmmm.
Monique: The designs Mr. Banana Sir.
Kim: We recovered them in Milan.
Coco: Eh, I scrapped these two days ago. I am taking the new fall design in a new direction.
Monique: and you believe we went all that way and…
Kim: Took on the whole underground just too…
Kim and Monique: Tears.
guy cries
Twill: Sir, step to the wall please.
Tweed: You’re charges with multiple counts of atrocious fashion sense.
Barkin: Uh, not sure this is accurate, I’m in three in heels.
Tweed: Which is count one, and those pumps those toes…
Twill: spring calls for strapage,
Tweed: Turn to the left. Count two, the boa robe.
Twill: Clearly you didn’t pull it off.
Tweed: Turn to the right.
Twill: Count three the stooge.
Tweed: That was so two seasons ago.
Twill: Count four, the lamp shade adore.
Tweed: Your parents must be real proud of you.
Barkin: you realize I don’t normally dress in this manner.



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