Coach Possible

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By wallaceb
Mr. Dr P: Now boys
Jim: You said we should practice.
Tim: You also said we can’t touch the ball with our hands
Mr. Dr P: Save it for the field boys
Waiter: First time coaching?
Mr. Dr P: Is it that obvious?
Waiter: Your lack of protective gear gave it away.
Jim and Tim: Sorry
Mrs. Dr P: Kimmie would you go in and get them please?
Kim: Mom, their your kids!
Mrs. Dr P: I hate this place; you go…I’ll give you five dollars
Kim: But the place reeks of burnt pizza. Not the puppy dog pout, that’s mine! Ok, but keep the engine running for a quick get way?
Ron: Kim! KP!
Kim: Ron? What are you doing here?
Ron: I come for the games, but I stay for the burnt pizza smell. Oh!
Rufus: I win!
Ron: Rematch!
Kim: Have you seen my dad and the tweebs?
Mr. Dr P: Give me that ball right now! I’m not just saying this as your father, but as your coach! Whoa!
Kim: Dad!
Mr. Dr P: Kimmie, the team needs a coach, just until I’m back on my feet.
Kim: You cannot be serious; I don’t know the first thing about soccer.
Mrs. Dr P: What’s to know? You’re wonderful with children
Jim: Denied
Kim: Those are not children! I’m not even sure if they are human. Wade, what’s the sitch?
Wade: There’s been some trouble at JP Barrymore’s Pizza Party-torium.
Kim: Tell me about it? My dad is totally out of action.
Wade: No Kim, after you guys left, they were robbed.
Guy: Somebody stole JP Barrymore.
Ron: At least you still have the back up band.
Guy: The bear was totally carrying those hacks. JP uses the state-of-the-art animatronic musicians.
Kim: Who ever those thieves are, they’re not subtle.
SSJ: He He He
SSS: No! No! A villainous laugh needs to be deep, from the diaphragm. Try again.
SSJ: Oh! The laugh is not important. I have the bear.
SSS: Yes, but why stop at the bear?
SSJ: I have no use for the otter, and the beaver was off key.
SSS: Jr., a true arch villain doesn’t leave behind a perfectly good otter.
SSJ: I though this was my crime to run?
SSS: Yes, of course, provided you make sound decisions.
SSJ: Fine, I will get the otter.
SSS: And the beaver.
SSJ: What ever.
Wade: That bear is quite a piece of work Kim, state-of-the-art inside and out.
Kim: OK, so we need to think about who might want it?
Wade: Industrial rivals?
Ron: Other animal bands? Pizzapottomus! No!
Kim: Ron!
Ron: Not Pizzapotomus! Ahhh!
Kim: It’s Senor Señor Senior, Sr. and Señor Senior, Jr.
SSJ: Looks like we picked up a few passengers, Kim Possible, and her sidekick type friend whose name escapes me.
SSS: What is your name again young man?
Ron: It’s Ron! Ron Stoppable!
SSS: That’s right.
SSJ: I will smash them into a building.
SSS: Jr. No!
Kim and Ron: Ahhh!
Ron: I don’t like this at all.
SSS: You simply cannot smash your foe,
SSJ: Why not?
SSS: You must give your foe a chance.
SSJ: To do what?!
SSS: To shimmy up the cable and try something heroic.
Ron: Quick, shimmy up the cable
Kim: You’re closer, you shimmy.
Ron: Have you ever seen me shimmy? It’s not pretty.
Kim and Ron: Ahhhh!
Ron: Whoa! Whoa! Ahh!
Kim: Hang on!
Ron: Ahhhh! Oof! Come on, we don’t have much time!
Kim: Ron! They’re in a helicopter! We’ll never catch them.
Ron: Who’s talking about them? Bueno Nacho closes in 10 minutes. I’m starvin’
Rufus: Yea, Hungry.
Ron: KP, this can’t go on.
Kim: What?
Ron: Studying, in study hall, it sets a bad precedent.
Kim: Don’t worry, it’s not school work.
Ron: Working on the Sr. and Jr. case?
Kim: Wrong again.
Ron: Ah, soccer. Or as the English call it, Football.
Kim: So you know a lot about soccer?
Ron: Oh yea, I will teach you all I know. Let’s see, Soccer is the world’s most popular sport, you can’t touch the ball with your hands.
Kim: Unless you’re the goalie.
Ron: Really? Well that’s it; the student has surpassed the teacher. Nap time.
Kim: Keep em coming Ron! Are you the goalie?
Tim: No, Kalian’s the goalie.
Kim: Then no hands.
Tim: Cool! Let me try
Kim: Wait, you’re approach us all wrong. Like this.
Girl: Take it Tim!
Tim: I got it Kalian.
Kim: OK, here’s a Give-n`-Go. See you pass it right back to the person who passed it to you.
Tim: I could have done that myself.
Kim: there’s no “I” in team.
Tim: And there’s no “fun” in soccer.
Jim: No with her hogging the ball.
Kim: No, no, no, let me show you. Do it like this.
SSS: Jr., I do not approve of the sign. Your lair should be secret.
SSJ: But I want people to find me.
SSS: so it is a trap? Ah, cleaver boy.
SSJ: Father! It is my evil scheme.
SSS: yes, yes of course, I just want to see if it is evil enough.
SSJ: Please! I assure you, it will be the greatest achievement of my life.
SSS: Greatest evil achievement?
SSJ: Oh yes, yes indeed. He he he he.
Kim: Keep it moving; use both sides of your feet. Here, I’ll show you.
Ron: Is she scaring you to?
Rufus: Oh yea, hm hm.
Ron: I’m so glad I’m just the equp…
Kim: Equipment manager!
Ron: Oof!
Kim: Blow these up, hurry.
Tim: I wasn’t ready. Do Over.
Kim: there are no do over’s in a real game. Come on, hustle! Heads up! Survey the field! Keep the ball moving! What’s the sitch Wade?
Wade: how’s the coach thing goin’?
Kim: Getting there. Visualize goals!
Wade: Visualize Senor Señor Senior, Sr.
Kim: What did you say?
Wade: Triple S has struck again.
Kim: Listen up team, I’ve gotta jet
Team: Horary!!
Kim: It’s that kinda attitude that says extra header practice. Now remember, hustle! I’ll be back as soon as I can.
Team: Ohhhh!
Kim: That’s not hustle.
Tech: Our Company has invented a revolutionary new gas that burns 100 tomes brighter than neon.
Ron: Doesn’t look so bright to me. Ahhhhhh!
Tech: Yea, it’s quite bright isn’t it, not as bright as the stolen proto-types, but very bright all the same.
Kim: now what makes you think Señor Senior stole it?
Tech: The left this.
SSJ: Good day, unless you’re watching this after dark, in which case, Good evening.
Kim: So Jr.!
SSJ: You are no doubt wondering why we have taken your super neon…
SSS: What are you doing?
SSJ: A video calling card. It will be my villainous trade mark. Ow!
SSS: Have you studies villainy at all Jr.?
SSJ: Father!
Tech: What do you make of it?
Kim: Family issues.
Ron: My eyes!!
Mr. Dr P: How’s it going Kimmie?
Kim: OK, usual villain stuff,
Mr. Dr P: I meant the soccer practice.
Kim: Uh oh! OK team that should be about enough. Same time tomorrow.
Jim: My legs Hurt.
Tim: I can’t even feel my legs
Kim: So, how are my star players? You two better get a good night sleep. Tomorrow, we go full contact.
Jim: Isn’t soccer pretty much no contact?
Kim: That’s what the other teams think.
Ron: You get one Chimereato, and they give you like a dozen little packets of Diablo Sauce. You can’t possibly use all this sauce. Some where there’s a land fill loaded with unopened hot sauce, and some day, I’m gonna find it.
Kim: You know if I put on the uniform, I can pass as a tall 10 year old. What do you think?
Ron: I think it is just a game, and your natural competitive Kimness has taken you to a very dark place.
Kim: The team needs and edge.
Ron: You’re the coach.
Kim: I’m a hands on coach.
Ron: Hands on soccer, interesting.
Kim: Wade, go you think it is wrong to pitch in to try to help my team?
Wade: Like fundraising?
Ron: Like playing forward.
Wade: Then I’d have to say yes.
Kim: So, what’s the sitch?
Wade: Watch this; Jr. calls it his video calling card.
SSJ: you love the night life? Love to boogie? Then come on over to Club Lair, the globe’s latest and hottest disco.
Kim: Hmm, he loves the camera.
Ron: And the camera loves him.
SSJ: Club Lair is conveniently located in Europe. Drive a little, party a lot.
Wade: Well…They shouldn’t be hard to find.
Ron: Yea, the map helps.
SSS: hmm…
SSJ: What?
SSS: Nothing, I didn’t say a thing.
SSJ: You did, you said “Hmm…”
SSS: I did not mean to say “Hmm…” it is your evil disco, not mine.
SSJ: Good! Now, ready, steady, go!
SSS: Yes, yes, very nice, but where is the villainy?
SSJ: Father, please! I want to do this on my own.
Kim: Thanks for the ride Mr. Bloomberg.
Bloomberg: I owe you one Kim, I never would’ve gotten around the world in 80 days, if you hadn’t saved me from the hurricane.
Kim: Any one could’ve steered a hot air balloon through Gail force winds, I’m just glad Ron was around to serve as ballast.
Ron: This time, I’m staying inside the basket.
Rufus: Oh yea!
Kim: I hope this doesn’t take too long, I promised the team I’d do some power drills today.
Ron: Power drills? That sounds harsh.
Kim: Hey, no pain, no gain.
Ron: Kim, the team wanted me to talk to you about your…coaching technique.
Kim: What about my coaching technique?
Ron: Too much technique, not enough coach.
Kim: What’s that supposed to mean?
Ron: They just want to have fun Kim.
Kim: Winning is fun, Ron!
Ron: See, that’s your Kimness talking.
Kim: Well, I am Kim?
Ron: It’s just a game, with small children, who cry when they see you coming.
Kim: Fine, we will let the team decide when we get back.
Bloomberg: Goin’ down.
SSS: So you taught the animals to “Cha-Cha-Cha.” No, tell me your villainous scheme!
SSJ: My plan is this, as the animals dance to the bouncy beat; the crowd will be inspired to do the same.
SSS: And then?
SSJ: We will party all night long!
SSS: Everyone will dance? That is your evil plan?!
SSJ: And…I will over charge for beverages.
Kim: Sorry to break up the party, Señor Seniors.
Ron: What have they done to Pizzapotomus? And where’s JP Barrymore’s banjo?
SSJ: I am so sorry, but tonight is my grand opening, it would be most inconvenient to give up now. Did you see the thing with the eye brow? Nice touch no?
Ron: Um, KP, other than wrapping Pizzapotomus in polyester, this doesn’t seem very evil.
SSS: See? What did I tell you?
SSJ: I’m sorry my friends, but this night club is rather exclusive, and you’re not on the guest list.
SSS: Ah, the cleaver threat! Good Jr.! Now you must follow through with a display of violent anger.
SSJ: But I’m mildly put off at best.
SSS: Just throw something!
SSJ: But father, I just had my nails buffed for the gala opening.
SSS: Jr.! This is not a party. This is not a disco. This is not fooling around.
SSJ: Sunglasses indoors, how stylish.
SSS: no loner will you interfere Kim Possible, now you are under my control. Jr. Now is the time.
SSJ: What?
SSS: The villainous laugh Jr.
SSJ: Nut now I don’t feel like laughing.
SSS: Laugh!
SSJ: (strange laugh)
SSS: Ha, I’ve heard worse.
SSJ: What have you don’t father?
SSS: The intense light of the super neon is refracted into a hypnotic pattern by the modified disco ball.
SSJ: you modified my disco ball?! But now they’re standing still. Everyone must dance!
Ron: Gotta Dance.
Kim: Can’t stop dancing.
Rufus: Must boogie, oh yea!
SSS: Did I not mention the hypnotic victim responds to the first suggestion given?
SSJ: They dance well for hypnotized people.
SSS: Jr.! Now is not the time! Europe’s elite will be here in a few hours.
SSJ: Yes. To get down with our bad selves.
SSS: NO! To be hypnotized pawns in our plan to take over everything.
SSJ: But that is not my plan.
SSS: It is now. Ready?
SSJ: What ever, this is no longer my party.
SSS: Jr. you can party all you want when we control everything.
SSJ: I don’t want to control, I just want to…
SSS: No! Do not speak the “D” word. Ambassador, so pleased you could make it.
Kim and Ron: woo woo.
SSJ: The crowd is starting to perk up.
SSS: Not for long.
Radio Guy: Hello, Europe.
SSS: This is Senor Señor Senior, I am in command of a disco filled with fabulous VIP’s.
Radio Guy: Can you speak up sir, the music is awfully loud.
SSS: In exchange for these very important persons, I demand that you name me, king. King of everything!
Radio Guy: I’m goin’ to have to have someone get back to you on this.
Wade: Kim? Kim?!
Kim: Can’t talk, dancing.
Wade: Oh my gosh! A hypnotic disco ball?!
Rufus: Help!
Wade: Help is one the way Rufus. Oh man! Now!
Kim: You rock Wade!
SSJ: let’s get this blackmail over with so the party can start.
SSS: patience my son. We are on the verge of being royalty.
SSJ: Fine, what ever. Then we can all…
SSS: Don’t say it!
Kim: Sorry Seniors, cancel the coordination.
SSS: Ah, Kim Possible, you are so resourceful, unlike some people I could mention.
SSJ: Always the put downs, where is the praise? Where father?
SSS: Now is not the time Jr.
Ron: Senor Señor sounds like a certain soccer coach I know.
Kim: Oh, does he have too much Kimness too?
Ron: Not exactly, he’s just a control freak, your…well, yea you are…that’s weird.
SSS: You know Kim Possible, the disco ball id not the only thing I modified.
Kim and Ron: Ahh!
Ron: JP Barrymore’s gone rouge. First they take his banjo, now this?
SSS: Attack my robotic animal pawns.
Ron: Not Pizaapotomus!
Kim: Ron! We can’t let those innocent people get hurt.
Ron: Not to mention us innocent people.
Kim: Wade, can you hack into the system controlling the animals?
Wade: Kim, it’s the most sophisticated computer system I’ve ever seen.
Kim: It’s a banjo playing bear.
Ron: They took his banjo!
Wade: I can’t hack the bear, let e try the beaver.
SSJ: Father has made my party a major drag. Everybody dance!
SSS: Jr.! What have you done?
Wade: I’m in! Kim, I took out the otter and the beaver.
Kim: Saweet Wade!
Ron: Kim! Ahh! Help! Bear! Bear! Bear! Oof! Ahh!
Kim: I’ll be right down.
Ron: No Coach Possible, this is my ball. Goal!
SSS: this is the last time I let you run the show
SSJ: if you had let me run it, none of this would’ve happened.
Kim: Nice hustle.
Ron: I hate it when they get away.
Kim: Grrr! Lets go. I’ve gotta do some hands off coaching.
Girl: Good shot! Next time try for the other team’s goal.
Jim and Tim: You got it!
Mr. Dr P: the important thing is that they’re having fun. I’m glad you see that now.
Kim: What ever.
Mr. Dr P: Kimmie, you better perk up, you’re the coach.
Ron: Not any more Dr. P. while learning to let go, the team let her go.
Mr. Dr P: Who’s coaching then?
Kim: The guy with the Banjo.
JP Barrymore: Way to go team; kick that ball, way to go team.



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