By wallaceb
Drakken: And so, Kim Possible, all you can do is watch helplessly as I launch my pollution machine into earth's ozone layer! And so, Kim Possible, you have no choice but to bear witness to the power of my doomsday decimator! And so, Kim Possible, the time has come for you to... Oh, come on, time out! I haven't even gotten into my
gloating yet, for Pete's sake! This is just getting ridiculous.
Shego: I'll say.
Drakken: I'm serious, Shego. Kim Possible has foiled my plans for the last time!
Shego: Yeah. The last time today, maybe.
Drakken: We've been going about this all wrong.
Shego: By "we," you do mean you, right?
Drakken: We have to take the fight to her. I am putting a hold on all take-over-the-world ventures until we have eliminated Kim Possible once and for all.
Shego: But these are all teen magazines. What are you planning to do, read her fashion horoscope?
Drakken: Don't you see, Shego? Kim Possible is a teenager. These magazines provide a direct portal into the unfathomable mind of the modern teen. To defeat one's enemy, one must first know one's enemy. We should pick up some milk while we're here.
Ron: An F minus? What's with the minus? A simple F would do. I mean, isn't anyone worried about damaging my self-esteem around here?
Kim: I'll see you guys later.
Ron: Kim? Are you forgetting Latin?
Kim: No, I'm just gonna go this way.
Ron: You know, I don't get you, KP. You're a straight A student, and yet you can't grasp the closest path from chem to Latin.
Kim: Ah, call it the scenic route.
Josh: Hey, Kim.
Kim: Oh, hey, Josh. I didn't see you there. What's up?
Josh: Just looting the old locker. You?
Kim: Just heading to Latin.
Josh: Caveat emptor.
Kim: Um, sorry?
Josh: It means buyer beware. I think it's the only Latin I know.
Kim: Oh, yeah! That's Latin, all right.
Josh: Isn't Latin on the other side of the school?
Kim: Yes. But I just, you know, had to pick up the thing from the guy at the place first.
Josh: Right. Hey, um, Kim...
Kim: Uh-huh?
Josh: I was wondering... I gotta jet. I can't be late for gym again. Check you later.
Kim: Right. See ya. Oooo! Oh, hi!
Josh: I forgot my a...
Kim: I was just tying my... See ya later, Josh. Bye.
Drakken: "The Secret to No-Chip Nails?" No. "Cory's Solo Career: Phat or Flat?" Not remotely helpful.
Shego: Oh, save me that no-chip nails article, will ya?
Drakken: Hmm?
Shego: Hey, you try keeping a manicure while kung-fuing it out with teen heroes all day!
Drakken: Kim Possible must have a weakness. Everyone has a weakness. All we need to do is find it.
Shego: Huh, what's Your Shy-Q?
Drakken: Shego, we're working here.
Shego: Or, "Unlock the True You."
Drakken: A personality quiz?
Shego: Number one: "when I am crushing hard on someone, I let them know by, A. A flirty email, B. Romantic gifts?
Drakken: I don't know, I'd probably employ some kind of mind control device on them.
Shego: Charming. I'll check "other." Number two: "My most embarrassing moment happened when..."
Drakken: I don't have the faintest.
Shego: Oh, please. How about just last week, when Kim Possible gave you that flying kung-fu wedgie? You were all like, "Shego, help me, help me!" Or there was that
time...
Drakken: Silence! There will be no more talk of embarrassing moments!
Shego: All right, but check out these features. "My Most Humiliating Moment Ever." "Embarrassment Central." "I could?ve died from Embarrassment!"
Drakken: Let me see that! "Could've died from Embarrassment." Hmm. That's it! That's it, Shego!
Shego: What is?
Drakken: Embarrassment. The soft, white underbelly of the teen ego.
Shego: Eww.
Kim: I'm telling you, I was this close to Josh Mankey asking me out.
Ron: You can't beat meat my own game, Rufus. I haven't caused a nacho-avalanche since '97. Frankly, I find the whole "dating" thing to be overrated. Who would subject themselves to that?
Kim: Those of us who can actually get dates. If the bell to Latin rang about five milliseconds later...
Ron: Latin? So that's where you've been slinking off to after chemistry! Caveat emptor.
Kim: He was gonna ask me. I could see it in his eyes.
Rufus: Ho! The winner!
Ron: So he takes you to dinner, you two see a movie... Big tap-dancing whoop. We do that stuff together all the time.
Kim: This is different, Ron. We're talking about a real date with Josh Mankey. I want it to be perfect.
Ron: Have you ever noticed that Mankey is but one vowel away from monkey? I'm not implying anything. Just something to think about, that's all.
Rufus: Mankey, monkey.
Ron: And I will not say no more.
Drakken: This serum is derived from pollen of the rare Amazonian Aurora orchid. When it makes contact with skin, it concentrates the human blushing mechanism. Any time my teen foe feels embarrassment or humiliation; the serum will cause her desire to disappear to come true. She will literally vanish before our eyes!
Shego: Question number 32: "You feel prettiest in..." A. Pink, B. Purple... Definitely green.
Ron: You have to admit, they sound a lot alike. A lot, a lot alike.
Kim: Ron! Will you let the Mankey monkey conspiracy die already? I'm begging you. Hey! Did you see that?
Ron: See what?
Kim: I don't know. Nothing, I guess.
Shego: So... What now?
Drakken: Haven't you been reading, Shego? The mall is an ideal venue for teenage embarrassment. We just sit back and watch the show.
Kim: It's Josh! Wait... I should bail. No, he's probably seen me by now, I should just act natural. No, I'll take the escalator and then enter from the health food store so he'll think...
Josh: Hey! ...Kim?
Bonnie: Smooth entrance, Kim. Very subtle.
Kim: Josh! I'm so sorry. I tripped, and I was trying to...
Josh: Kim!
Drakken: I knew destroying Kim Possible would be a hoot, but this is simply delish!
Kim: Hmm? Ahhh!
Ron: Hey, Kim! Wait up! Are you okay? That was nasty!
Kim: Ron, something critical is happening to me. Look at this.
Ron: Yeah, I'm no doctor, but you might wanna get that checked out.
Wade: Now just hold very still. Okay, Rufus. Scan complete. Compiling data now. You said this started right after lunch, right? Check out this feed from Bueno Nacho security camera.
Kim: Drakken!
Wade: Got it. According to body temperature readings, Drakken's rigged it so every time you blush, cue the disappearing act.
Kim: What does it mean? I'm turning invisible?
Ron: That doesn't sound so bad. It's kinda cool, actually if...
Wade: Sorry, guys, but it's more serious than that. If the transformation becomes complete, Kim will be gone.
Kim: Gone? Gone like how?
Wade: Gone, like gone. As in, forever.
Ron: Kim, you could embarrass yourself right out of existence!
Wade: The good news is, I've isolated the cause. The pollen of the Aurora orchid flower. It's only found in the remote regions of the Amazon jungle. Another dose of pollen should negate the effect.
Ron: Quest time. Come on, Rufus.
Rufus: Oh, yeah!
Kim: Let's go.
Ron: No way! What if you barf on the plane or get gum stuck on your shoe? You have to stay right here and avoid embarrassment at any cost.
Kim: Oh, come on. If I can do anything, I can keep myself from getting embarrassed. Totally mind over matter.
Ron: Sorry, too risky, KP. I mean, if it were me...
Kim: You what?
Ron: If I got hit by Drakken, it wouldn't matter.
Kim: How so?
Ron: Oh I don't get embarrassed.
Kim: Ever?
Ron: Not that I can remember.
Kim: That time you lost your pants?
Ron: Times. Too many to count my friend. And did I blush? I did not.
Wade: I hate to admit it, but he's right. You're grounded.
Kim: Okay, blinds closed, doors locked, computer off. No embarrassment, no embarrassment. Wait... The phone! Hello?
Josh: Kim? It's Josh.
Kim: Josh? Look, I'm so sorry about your shirt, I?
Josh: Kim, I just wanted to see if you were okay.
Kim: I'm fine... For the most part.
Josh: Listen, I know this is kinda last-second, but... Do you want to hang out tonight? I don't know.
Kim: Yes! I mean, no. I mean, yes! I want... To... But...N... yes! Yes, yes.
Josh: I?m sorry, is that your way of saying yes or no?
Kim: The answer is definitely yes. Just give me a couple of minutes to get changed, OK?
Wade: Hold up once you get to the dock. I'll be right there to meet you.
Ron: To meet us? You? Really?
Wade: I figure you could use backup. Besides, it's time I got some experience in the field. Ron, Rufus.
Ron: I must say, it's a pleasure to finally meet you in the flesh.
Wade: Meet the Wade-bot, XR prototype.
Ron: Okay, not flesh, per say.
Wade: Let's roll.
Ron: How're we doing on time?
Wade: As long as Kim stays in her room, we should be cool.
Tweebs: We'll get it! We'll get it!
Kim: Don't even think about it, tweebs!
Josh: Hi, Kim.
Kim: Hey, Josh.
Josh: You ready?
Kim: Let's ride. Bye, Mom, bye, Dad. I'll be home by ten. Just in case.
Jim: Okay, so if she gets home by ten...
Tim: ...She'll be on her computer doing the diary spill by about?
Jim: 10:01.
Tim: We hack the diary by 10:02.
Jim: No good.
Tim: Why no good?
Jim: She'll be up all night writing gushy stuff about Josh.
Tim: Oh, right. Earliest we can get the dirt will be tomorrow morning.
Jim: Unless...
Tim: We spy.
Jim: Hoo-sha!
Josh: I hope you're hungry.
Kim: Ravenous.
Kim: Sorry, it's a little chilly in here. Brr.
Drakken: Table for two, please.
Wade: We need to make it another six or seven miles down river. It should...
Ron: Ahh! Rapids!
Wade: Rapids? They're not on the map.
Ron: No, they're right in front of us!
Ron: We made it! How do you like me now, Mother Nature? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy's daddy?
Rufus: Uh-oh!
Wade: Er? that's not on the map, either.
Ron and Rufus: Ahh!
Wade: It feels good to get out of my room once in a while.
Josh: I'm serious. It's the mix of the hot and salty, and cold and sweet.
Jim: Is Josh doing what I think he's doing?
Tim: Dipping his fry into his shake?
Jim: What does Kim see in this freak?
Josh: Try it.
Kim: A French fry dipped in a milkshake. Josh Mankey, culinary trailblazer.
Shego: Huh, he's kinda cute. I approve.
Drakken: What are you, her sister all of a sudden? We're trying to vanish Kim Possible from the face of the earth, remember?
Shego: One heaping helping of embarrassment, coming right up.
Josh: Okay, okay, now it's your turn. What is your most deep, dark, disgusting food combo?
Kim: No way. Not until I know you way better. I... Oops! Excuse me, Josh. This is so embarr... Oh, no! No, no! Josh, I'm so sorry.
Josh: Hey, it was an accident.
Drakken: Mmm! This is really getting good.
Wade: This valley is the only place on earth where the Aurora orchid grows.
Ron: See if you can set it down there, Wade. That looks like a safe spot. Okay, maybe safe wasn't exactly the right word.
Wade: Hang tight, guys. I've got this covered. Initiating parachute measures now! Oops.
Ron: Wade, we're free falling off a cliff! This is no time for oops!
Wade: My bad. I never got around to actually installing the chute. It's sitting here in my closet.
Ron: Nooo!
Kim: Yah! Hey, I'm sorry about all that.
Josh: That's cool. How about we get out of here, maybe catch a movie?
Kim: A movie sounds perfect... In the darkest theater we can find.
Drakken: Drats! She's on to us.
Shego: Check, please.
Ron: Ahhhh! Oof! Oof!
Rufus: Hey!
Shego: How about I have her sit on some gum? That should do it!
Drakken: Relax, enjoy the show, Shego. I've brought in the experts to finish the job.
Shego: Experts?
Drakken: These ninjas have been trained since birth in the art of inflicting humiliation.
Shego: Ahh! Embarrassment ninjas? Are you kidding?
Drakken: I guess in their field, it pays to specialize. Now, go get her!
Kim: Embarrassment ninjas!
Josh: What?
Kim: I said... Let's move closer. I'm gonna go for popcorn. Be right back. What'd I miss?
Jim: I thought embarrassment ninjas were supposed to be the best.
Tim: Amateurs.
Ron: Nice work, Rufus. Wade, check it out. We're home free. Wade? No! Wade! Hang in there, buddy. Just listen to the sound of my voice. It's gonna be okay. It was his first mission. He was so young! Stay with me, pal.
Rufus: Leave him!
Ron: No, Rufus! No one gets left behind. Not on my watch.
Wade: Ron, I'm fine. Get back to the flower already.
Ron: Oh right.
Josh: You wanna go for a walk?
Kim: Sounds nice. Ahh!
Josh: Hey, watch it!
Drakken: Direct hit! Score!
Kim: I'm fine. And not embarrassed. Not embarrassed in the least. Come on, Ron.
Wade: All Kim needs to do is get a whiff of pollen from the flower, and that should do the trick.
Ron: What's the use, Rufus? We're hundreds of miles from civil... Free peanuts, here we come!
Rufus: Mmm! Peanuts!
Kim: What are you doing?
Josh: Er, I was going to hold your hand.
Kim: Er, I can't. First date, you know.
Josh: Okay, I respect that... I guess.
Drakken: Just a few more doses of humiliation, and Kim Possible should be gone for good!
Shego: You didn't borrow those binoculars from the embarrassment ninjas, by any chance?
Drakken: Yes... Why do you ask?
Shego: Oh, uh, no reason.
Josh: Hey, check it out.
Kim: Josh, this is amazing! You did it, didn't you?
Josh: Yeah, oh me and some of the neighborhood kids. It was all tagged with graffiti before.
Kim: It's beautiful.
Ron: Here you go, Kim! One rare endangered Amazonian orchid for... Kim? Blinds down, computer off, phone... Caller ID, caller ID! Monkey!
Josh: This was fun tonight. What's going on?
Kim: No! Not that!
Josh: Kim, is that you, taking a bath? Kim?
Ron: Talk to me, Wade.
Wade: I'm picking up thermal scans from a floating head in Middleton Park.
Ron: That's probably her, right? Hang on, Kim!
Josh: This is the weirdest date I've ever been on.
Kim: Tweebs?!
Jim: Hey, Kim.
Tim: How come you're just a head?
Jim: Is that like full-blown cooties or something?
Kim: Home! Now! I'll destroy you two later. But if that was Jim and Tim, where are?
Josh: Aww! What's up? Shows over?
Drakken: Yes! She's just a head! Finish her! Give her the pimple punch!
Shego: "Pimple punch"?
Kim: "Pimple punch"?
Shego: You've gotta be kidding. That is... Oh, my!
Josh: There you are. What's going on? What's with the cape?
Kim: Long story.
Josh: Nah, it's cool.
Kim: Josh, wait...
Josh: Bless you.
Josh: Come on, what is the big secret?
Kim: Okay, you promise you won't laugh?
Josh: Yeah, cross my heart.
Kim: I like to put marshmallows on hot dogs, Okay? Are you happy now?
Josh: Marshmallows? Are you for real? That's like totally embarrassing.
Kim: Yeah, but I can live with it.
Josh: You know what tonight's been?
Kim: Yes. Perfect.