Bad Boy

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By wallaceb
Kim: Sitch me.
Wade: Scanning indicates Drakken’s atmosphere disruptor is right below you.
Kim: Let’s rock. Come on Ron, head in the game.
Ron: Sorry. I just got my Cousin Ruben’s wedding coming up.
Kim: And what’s bad how?
Ron: Whole fam there. Hello! Including evil cousin Shaun.
Rufus: Shaun. Eww.
Kim: So Shaun’s bad news?
Ron: Bad? Bad!? We trashed my scooter, poured gravy down my pants, and he tried to feed Rufus to his pet Iguana.
Drakken: In a few moments the world will beg for mercy from my atmosphere disruptor. You want breathable air? Talk to the doctor.
Kim: Rather not Drakken.
Drakken: Kim Possible? Well?
Shego: The usual? I attack, she fights?
Drakken: Ugh? have we become that predictable?
Shego: Apparently so.
Ron: and then Shaun broke my favorite… KP, are you listening?
Kim: Cousin Shaun, big bully, gravy down the pants, why don’t you tell your parents?
Ron: I tried, but they are all like Shauny is littler than you.
Kim: Wait… how littler?
Ron: 7. But… like… he’s an evil 7.
Kim: Let me get this straight. You’re afraid of a 7-yr old?
Ron: Walk a mile in my gravy stained pants and you’ll understand.
Kim: How hard can it be to ditch him?
Ron: Two words KP. Kid’s table.
Kim: Whoa. You still sit with the kids. What if you brought a date?
Ron: A date? A date? Well it would have the element of surprise, but I’ve been down this road before… unless… uhh? not that I’m asking you.
Kim: No, because we’re friends and?
Ron: It would be akweird.
Kim: Yea, that’s the word I was looking for, akweird. Shh, it’s starting.
Ron: You actually watch Agony County?
Kim: Just to stay current.
Charity: Danny wait, what about us?
Danny: Look Charity, we’re just friends. It has to stay that way. Get it?
Ron: Oh please, are they still teasing that Charity and Danny are going to get together?
Kim: Like that’s ever going to happen, it would end the series.
Ron: Besides, the guy is a jerk. Did you see how Faith on their first date?
Kim: Gerrn. Rewind. You watch Agony County?
Ron: Am I not supposed to be current?
Kim: Un-huh. And FYI, Danny is a misunderstood jerk.
Ron: There’s a diff?
Kim: Yea, a hottie diff.
Ron: So, you like the bad boys?
Kim: Well sometimes I… no, not at all, but some girls do.
Ron: Oh, really?
Girl#1: Hey, you can’t just barge in.
Ron: Hey, out of my way. Ladies love the bad boy, and the bad boy loves the ladies.
**Girl#1:{/b] But this is the girl’s room.
Ron: Ahh! My bad. I mean, I’m bad. Uhh, see the thing with the eyebrow?
Girl#2: That’s just Eww Ron.
Girl#1: Jerk.
Ron: Misunderstood jerk.
Kim: Bad not good?
Ron: I feel Cousin Shaun sharpening his spill skills. I gotta go badder.
Kim: Wouldn’t want anyone liking you for the real you.
Ron: Phft. You know where nice guys finish KP. From now on just call me bad boy.
Drakken: My atmosphere disruptor, gone, smashed to pieces. Sharp pieces. Owwwie, owe.
Shego: And you thought this plan would turn out differently because?
Shego and Drakken: It was my best doomsday device ever.
Shego: Yea, blah blah, heard it all before. Did you ever think maybe your best just isn’t good enough?
Drakken: Shego, your words hurt. There must be some world domination plan I’ve tried that worked.
Shego: Here’s a news flash. If it worked, you’d be running the world. See, the only thing I see you running is your mouth.
Drakken: You’re right. My evil muse has deserted me. Do my tears mean nothing?
Shego: Oh, cork it. Maybe this well help.
Drakken: The annual super villain trade show and convention. Oh, henchmen seminars.. .doomsday demonstrations, evil snack bar. Shego, do you know what this means?
Shego: Umm, you’re going to gorge yourself on corn dogs and hark on Dementor again?
Drakken: That was last year and those were funnel cakes. NO! It means a chance for me to become inspired by evil again, and grab all those swag we can.
Charity: Danny, no! You got spinach in your teeth and your hair is a mess.
Danny: What’s it to you Charity? I’m the one who doesn’t care.
Charity: But I care. I care so much it hurts.
Danny: I like when you hurts.
Ron: Even his grammar is bad. What?
Rufus: Huh?
Shaun: Looks like the power is out.
Ron: Cousin Shaun. Ahh!
Shaun: Guess where I’m staying for the wedding, roomie.
Kim: That sounded like Ron and Rufus. Hmm?
Ron: Oh, hey KP.
Kim: Do I even want to know?
Ron: Cousin Shaun… in my house right now. Can we stay here, please? Oh please. Oh please.
Rufus: Please, please.
Kim: Take the couch in the den but you’re going to have to deal with your cousin sooner or later.
Ron: Fine. No, sooner or later one of us is going to have to grow up.
Kim: Go Wade.
Wade: Check this. I’ve been tracking a huge group of super villains, all converging on one place.
Kim: Tri-city convention centre. It’s the annual super villain shindig.
Wade: How’d you know that?
Kim: I’m on the mailing list.
Ron: I thought I was signing you up to win a tank, ok?
Kim: Maybe I should sneak in. See how much no good they’re up to.
Wade: Gotcha. Undercover.
Ron: You call this incognito?
Wade: Zorpox the conqueror. Issue 97of the villain’s league of evil villains.
Kim: And I am?
Wade: Sheela, of the leopard people
Kim: I was going to say not feeling 100 percent on the cat suit.
Wade: I worked with what I had on hand.
Ron: KP, I don’t know if I can do this.
Kim: Just try chillin’ like a villain.
Ron: No, I mean my whole bad boy thing. It’s just not working.
Kim: Now, undercover as a super villain, you realize this? Let’s go. Walk the walk Zorpox.
Drakken: Ohh, look, test your badness level.
Shego: They can do that?
Jack: So you think you’re bad sir?
Drakken: Bad? I’m Dr. Drakken.
Jack: Drakken? Since when do you buy anything?
Drakken: Admittedly I have been a bit of a tire-kicker in the past.
Jack: You send her in to steal for you.
Drakken: Is this or is it not a free no obligation to buy demonstration?
Jack: Fine, let’s go.
Drakken: Aha, feast your eyes on that.
Jack: Uh. Playground bully.
Drakken: What ground what what?
Shego: Face it Dr. D, you’re not as bad as you think.
Drakken: You mean I’m not evil?
Shego: Unpleasant, annoying, but evil? Not so much.
Jack: Come see the latest from Hench Co Industries.
Narrator: Good guys got you down? Evil schemes not working? Then you need the attitudinator. First, the attitudinator removes your good and bad energies, and readjusts the balance, giving you just the right amount of evil. Be the envy of other villains, and the bane of do-gooders with THE ATTITUDINATOR. Warning, may cause swelling to the ego and itchy feet.
Drakken: Shego, are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Shego: That you’re paying retail this time?
Drakken: but? urgg? oh, very well. Where’s my checkbook?
Ron: Check all the villainy.
Kim: Be careful, and lay low.
Ron: Molecular eraser? yea right.
Kim: Way to lay low.
Ron: Hey, isn’t that Drakken?
Kim: What’s on his head?
Drakken: Oh, feet itching, good sign.
Ron: Since when are itchy feet good?
Drakken: I am feeling super-evil. How do I look?
Kim: Super-evil Drakken? Let’s go.
Ron: I’ve got your tail Sheela. Ok, she does.
Shego: Kim Possible?
Ron: No, she’s Sheela, the leopard lady. She has spots. Come on.
Shego: Why are you dressed in that stupid costume?
Kim: Ohohoh, you look in the mirror lately?
Shego: Let’s go sister.
Jack: I’m sorry, but the next demo will be in a few minutes.
Ron: Umm, stand back, I’m Zorpox the conqueror.
Jack: Doesn’t ring a bell.
Ron: You know, Zorpox the conqueror?
Jack: I’m just not familiar with your work. Why don’t you fill out a card, you could win a tank.
Drakken: Nice try Kim Possible, but you’re too late. Pure evil now pulses through my veins. Maybe next time you’ll think twice before destroying someone’s atmosphere disruptor. Come Shego.
Kim: Ron, you ok?
Ron: What just happened?
Kim: I hope you got to him in time.
Ron: How much more evil could Drakken get?
Shego: Is that an Oh Boyz song?
Drakken: Oh, is it? Any who, at last it is complete, the sonic inhalator.
Shego: It’s purple?
Drakken: Purple? Please. It’s plum. Makes it user-friendly.
Shego: Yea, ok. What’s it do?
Drakken: By turning this knob, it creates pulsating sonic pulses and with the proper mixture, it can really shake things up.
Shego: So you can use it to?
Drakken: That’s right Shego, to make the perfect glass of chocolate milk.
Shego: You’re joking.
Drakken: I never joke about cocomoo.
Shego: Cocomoo?
Drakken: its use are limitless. Pudding, cookie dough, foot massages.
Shego: What about evil uses? You know, like maybe earthquakes?
Drakken: My cocomoo! Oh, I didn’t know it could be so violent. Some could get hurt.
Shego: Kinda the point, don’t you think?
Drakken: Shego, bite your tongue. Have some cocomoo. It’s soothing.
Shego: Stop saying cocomoo!
Drakken: Hmmm. That’s good cocomoo.
Wade: It should be easy turning Drakken back to normal as long as this thing kept his good side.
Kim: Drakken has one of those?
Wade: Not anymore. This device was designed to suck up both his good and bad energies, and only put back the evil part.
Kim: Who comes up with this stuff?
Wade: I’ll start crunching the data, and let you know what I find.
Kim: Rufus? Where have you guys been? Ron totally flaked on chem. Class this morning.
Ron: The right velocity… counterweight the spoons… and date or no-date, Cousin Shaun will bow to me.
Kim: Ron? Stranger than usual.
Ron: Oh, this? Just a little experiment.
Kim: Ok, now you’re scaring me.
Ron: You have no idea how scary I can be.
Kim: We just entered the freak zone.
Ron: Oh, but things are about to get spectacular.
Barkin: Hey, who threw? In coming! Evasive action people.
Kim: Ron’s what your damage?
Rufus: Yea?
Ron: Oh I see, I see now. You’ve turned against me. Can’t handle the bad boy, hunh?
Barkin: But I can.
Barkin: No food fight goes unpunished on my watch Stoppable. It’s one month in detention.
Ron: Booyea!
Barkin: Oh, that’s funny to you food-fighter? Fine, let’s make it two months!
Wade: Whoa, Ron’s bad boy act is getting a little extreme.
Kim: And he’s not even trying to get a date out of it anymore. Wade, I need you to keep an eye on Ron. You’ve still got him chipped, right?
Wade: Kim, we talked about the ethical ramifications of that.
Kim: Wade?
Wade: Yea, ok.
Kim: Please and thank you.
Drakken: So, had enough? I think you’re quite finished. Who wants peanut butter stickies?
Shego: Oh! This is sick and wrong on so many levels.
Drakken: Shego, come, join us. We’re about to start our share circle. Want a PB stickie? Someone is a grumpy monkey.
Shego: Look, your train seriously jumped the track here. Wait? hey, you’re not blue.
Drakken: Oh, it must be my sunny disposition.
Shego: Don’t you have something you want to take over? Starts with a W.
Drakken: Oh, I love guessing games. But don’t tell me, wait, watermelon. Yes? No? Wooly mammoth? Woodchuck? Whirlygig?
Shego: Go.
Jack: Is this the lair of Dr. Drakken?
Drakken: Um? wombat?
Shego: More or less.
Jack: Well, I just wanted to say how terribly sorry Hench Co is about the unfortunate mishap.
Shego: What mishap?
Jack: Well, our analysis of the ruckus at the convention centre shows that Dr. Drakken’s evil was clearly transplanted to that Zorpox fellow.
Shego: Aha! No wonder Dr. D is messed up.
Jack: Hey, hang on, your check bounced?
Shego: Gotta go. Yo, Dr. D.
Drakken: Changed your mind about the cocomoo?
Shego: Not say Coc… I gotta get you back to your bad self. Let’s go get that sidekick.
Crowd: MAZAL TOV!
Kim: Thanks for the heads up on Ron.
Ron: When he tricked out his old tricycle into an ATV, I knew something was seriously whack.
Kim: Yea, he’s usually not good with tools. Later Wade, bad boy is here.
Ron: Booyea!! Who’s the best man now?
Kim: Hold up Ron, there is something you should know. Hey, you’re blue!
Ron: Kim Possible!
Kim: Since when do you use my last name?
Ron: Since I realized my full evil potential.
Kim: Yea, about that.
Shaun: Like the cake cousin crybaby? Boohoo, going to cry like a baby?
Kim: That’s Cousin Shaun?
Ron: You think you got game? You ain’t got game. That’s right baby, it’s payback time. Booyea!. I’ve refined my potato-tosser into a plasma catapult.
Kim: That’s an unexpected twist.
Ron: This will cut that little brat down to size.
Bride: Isn’t he supposed to be at the kid’s table?
Shego: Come on Stoppable, you’re coming with us.
Drakken: Um, if you don’t mind terribly.
Ron: No one commands me, no one!
Drakken: Ooh, he’s a bad man.
Shego: Yes, seriously.
Kim: Ron, you’ve got to stop. Evil isn’t your thing. It’s Drakken’s thing.
Ron: Aha, but I’m so much better at it. Did Drakken ever build a plasma blaster this dangerous?
Drakken: I did not.
Shego: He didn’t. Who knew the buffoon was a natural? Later Dr. Do-Nothing.
Ron: Back off lady. Oof!
Shego: Welcome aboard.
Kim: Ron! This is not good.
Drakken: I beg to differ. Mmm, I’m going to ask for the recipe.
Ron: Haahaaa-woohaaa!
Shego: Woah, woah, woah, ok, enough, point made, you got the villain laugh down. Give it a rest would ya?
Ron: Do your eyes criticize?
Shego: Yea, I’m looking for results here, so far you’ve been chuckling up a storm with nothing to show for it.
Ron: I’m just warming up. Check it. The inhalator has been set to go off in five minutes. When it does quakes are going to shake the world to pieces.
Shego: So done with the laugh. Ok, this helps us how? We’ll be shaken apart too.
Ron: It’ll never get that far. The world will surrender to me first. Not us, me! You’re just a hired help.
Shego: Oh, really?
Ron: Cool, huh? I found it in Drakken’s stuff. Bet he never even know how to use it. You’re all.. You were all like Pow Pow, and I was like Zap Zap and now you’re like boohoo. Sidekicks need to know their place, right?
Shego: Uh, yea, umm, you got it?. I’ll just go check the security monitors. Hey, you know that evil laugh of yours. I love it. Love it.
Ron: I’m ready for you Kim Possible. Bring.
Kim: Any idea how to fix this Wade?
Wade: Well, from what I can tell all of Drakken’s badness got transferred into Ron.
Kim: If we repaired the attitudinator and get Ron and Drakken to use it, that will reverse the process, right?
Wade: I hope so.
Drakken: Oh, who’s a chubby mole rat? Who’s a chubby little mole rat?
Kim: It also means Drakken will be evil again.
Wade: That’s the bad news.
Kim: Uh, Drakken, we’re going to need you to turn bad again.
Drakken: But, I don’t want to be bad.
Kim: It’s better if you’re bad.
Drakken: Better?
Kim: Better than Ron being bad.
Rufus: Uh-hu
Drakken: So, I’m better at being bad then your buddy?
Kim: No, but that’s good.
Drakken: So, bad’s better if I’m bad?
Kim: Good, you got it.
Ron: Woohoo, we’ve got an intruder. Kim Possible. Get ready for a smack down in my town.
Shego: She’s not on the monitors. How do you know?
Ron: I’ve been doing a little scannage for the communicator’s frequency.
Shego: Urgg, now why didn’t he ever think of that?
Ron: That’s why I’m the big dog. Woof woof Bark!
Kim: Wade is going to talk you through how to fix the attitudinator.
Drakken: Oh, goodie, I like fixing things.
Kim: I never thought I’d say this Dr. Drakken. I’m counting on you.
Drakken: Don’t worry, I won’t let you down. Bad is good in my case.
Ron: Welcome Kimberly Anne Possible.
Kim: The middle name is so overkill.
Ron: Overkill? Isn’t that idea? A booyea!
Wade: Ok, it should work now.
Drakken: We did it!
Wade: Good job guys. Now you’ve just got to get it on Ron, turn him good and you’ll be evil again.
Drakken: Oh, it’s ok little guy. I’m sure we’ll have more fun times after I’m evil.
Rufus: No.
Drakken: Nobody told me there would be no evil fun times with my little mole rat buddy.
Rufus: Sorry.
Drakken: Ah, doing the right thing is so hard.
Shego: Oh, look, Kimmie came out to play.
Ron: Not bad, but let’s be honest. You could have gotten out of it faster.
Kim: Game over Ron.
Ron: Over? I’m just getting warmed up. The inhalator was to keep you busy while I worked on my real evil plan. My mega-weather-generator.
Shego: Your what arator? I mean, is it too much to ask to be kept in the loop?
Ron: All will fear me and tremble beneath my storms, and then hand over to me the world’s supply of Nacos. Booyea!
Shego: Nacos?
Kim: Figures. How obvious. Go Drakken.
Drakken: You’ve been a bad boy.
Ron: Hey. Whoa, what happened? Rufus!
Kim: You were having a bad day.
Drakken: You ditched me for that?
Shego: Did you see his mega-weather-generator?
Drakken: Aha!, Kim Possible, for now it is I Dr. Drakken who controls the mega-weather-generator.
Kim: I think we all know what comes next.
Drakken: You think you’re all that but you’re not.
Ron: Ahh, finally no more kid’s table. Thanks for being my date. Ahh’friend.
Kim: Admittedly, not as akweird as feared.
Shaun: More cake Ron?
Kim: Is that Shaun?
Ron: I thank you Shaun See, I told you KP, piece of cake.
Kim: Ron, what did you?
Ron: I just gave him a little attitude adjustment.