Animal Attraction

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By wallaceb
SSS: Ah, the life of villainy is most exciting, is it not, my son?
SSJ: If I want flashing lights, I go to the discotheque.
SSS: In moments, the experimental prototype inside will be ours.
SSJ: Oh! Could you not simply buy this fancy prototype online?
SSS: You and your internet! Some things are best done the old- fashioned way, Junior!
Kim: Senor Senior, Sr.
SSS: Ah, Kim Possible, my feisty teen nemesis. You complete me.
Ron: Don't forget me.
SSS: Yes, of course. Ron Stoppable.
SSJ: Yeah, I'm not so good with the faces.
Kim: Surrender, Senor Senior... Sr.
SSS: I must respectfully decline, but well played, Kim Possible. Well played. But the next time, you will not be so lucky. Until then... be well!
Ron: Bad man. Good manners.
Boy: I came out a green guppy.
Girl: Like, a total red ferret.
Amelia: Okay, at a fork in the road, you stop.
Ron: Kim, I need some advice. "You're about to embark on a journey that will change your life. What snacks would you bring along?"
Kim: Don't tell me you got sucked in by this Animology craze.
Ron: "Craze"? I think not. Animology is a window into your innermost self.
Kim: Ron, it's a lame cross between astrology and a personality quiz.
Ron: Not even close. Animology assigns you a color and an animal. It's science, Kim.
Kim: Thanks, but I have a life.
Ron: It predicts your perfect mate. Tell me you don't wanna know your perfect mate.
Kim: Not if he's some... blue baboon!
Ron: Don't even joke, Kim. A blue baboon would be disastrous for you.
Kim: Ah, I pass on the fad, Ron.
Kim: Okay, let's get started.
Bonnie: Do you mind? Some of us are trying to concentrate.
SSJ: I cannot wait to unlock my innermost self!
SSS: I would prefer to unlock that vault in the weapons research facility. Oh, dear, here comes that pompous... Philippe! Philippe Boullion! Oh, won't you join us for some lunch?
Philippe: My pleasure, Senor Senior, Sr. You so rarely make it to the club these days.
SSS: I have an active retirement.
Philippe: Indeed. I understand your latest hobby is quite unique.
SSJ: Father wants to conquer the world.
Philippe: Well, who doesn't? But the Billionaire's Club prizes... discretion and obscenely large personal fortunes.
SSS: I assure you, Philippe, though my pastime is pricey, I still possess the requisite billions for club membership.
Philippe: Of course... We checked.
SSS: Then, how can I help you?
Philippe: Senor... A member in a melee with an American cheerleader? It reflects, how shall I say? Poorly on the club.
SSS: What are you saying, Phillipe?
Philippe: That I am revoking your club membership. I'll take that.
Bonnie: Amelia! Over here!
Amelia: I heard you're a lavendar mouse. I'm a red otter. Major conflict.
Ron: I finished the Animology test.
Kim: Lemme guess. Blue baboon?
Ron: Worse. I'm a pink sloth, Kim.
Kim: A pink sloth?
Ron: Sloth! The lowest of the low. "The pink sloth is an outcast, a follower, socially inept and smells of overripe fruit!" I do not smell of overripe fruit! I wonder if they have a pink naked mole rat.
Kim: Ron, your stupid book! Hmm... "You arrive at the multiplex, only to find that the movie you've come to see is sold out." Hmm.
SSJ: Father, if I was a tree, which tree do you think I would be?
SSS: One that would be banned from the billionaire club, Junior. This insult gives me no choice but revenge!
SSJ: There are other clubs for the obscenely wealthy.
SSS: Not the point. World-class villains are defined by disproportionate revenge. Perhaps I engineer a crash of financial markets that freezes the club's assets.
SSJ: That would require a large freezer.
SSS: I was not speaking literally, my son. Or was I?
Jim: Let's eat!
Mrs. Dr P: What is taking Kim so long?
Mr. Dr P: She's working on some big test. Didn't catch the subject.
Kim: This should not be this hard. If the movie I want to see is sold out, I leave. But that makes me seem stubborn. I'll see something else. That's flexible. Or, it could mean I'm weak.
Mrs. Dr P: Kimmie, aren't you coming down to dinner?
Kim: Just start without me, Mom. I'm totally swamped!
Mrs. Dr P: What exactly is swamping you?
Kim: Animology. It says what kind of person you are. Not that I believe it. It's just for laughs.
Mrs. Dr P: Sounds like fun. I'll put your plate in the microwave.
Kim: Thanks, Mom. I'll just be a few.
Mrs. Dr P: Go to bed, Kim.
Kim: Night, Mom. Love you. "A mysterious stranger calls your name. You're most likely to..." I'm a blue fox, Dad.
Mr. Dr P: Uh... super. Did you know that the blue fox is a born leader? "Can't resist a challenge, driven to excel... a perfectionist."
Mrs. Dr P: That explains the all-nighter.
Mr. Dr P: Hold the phone! "The perfect soul mate of the blue fox is the yellow trout." Soul mate. I think Kimmie's a bit young to be looking for a "soul mate," or any kind of mate.
Mrs. Dr P: In a few days, Kimmie will have forgotten all about yellow trouts. This whole Animology business is just a silly teen fad.
Mr. Dr P: Hmm... If you say so. So, uh... What are you?
Mrs. Dr P: Teal cat. You?
Mr. Dr P: Beige raccoon.
Both: Soul mates!
Boy: I'm a yellow... bear, which is cool.
Amelia: Guess what? That hottie in english is a yellow... rabbit!
Ron: You were right, KP, Animology is completely bogus.
Rufus: Pah! Bogus!
Kim: I don't know if I'd go that...
Ron: Because there is no way Ron Stoppable is a pink sloth.
Wade: Kim. I got that info you wanted.
Kim: Oh, no big. Just give it to me later.
Wade: But you said it was the highest priority. "Utmost rush"?
Kim: When ever's fine.
Ron: No, no, no. Go ahead, Wade. Important news will be a welcome break from this Animology garbage.
Wade: Okay, I checked all school databases, Kim, but there's no way to tell who's a yellow trout.
Ron: You took the test?
Kim: I'm a blue fox. I can't resist a challenge.
Ron: I can't believe you are into Animology.
Kim: I am not "into" it, Ron. I took the test for laughs. No big. Who's the yellow trout?
Ron: So into it.
Wade: Still looking, but you did get an interesting hit on the site. From Pop Pop Porter.
Kim: Who?
Ron: Shame on you, KP. Pop Pop is the genius revolutionized the heat-and-eat snack industry.
Wade: Pop Pop's Mini Corn Dogs?
Ron: Nature's perfect food.
Kim: Have you ever read what's in them?
Ron: That would be stupid.
Kim: I avoid fried foods.
Ron: Never fried! Flash-frozen.
Wade: Streaming the video.
Pop Pop: I need your help, little lady. Someone stole my state- of-the-art flash-freezing cryovator.
Ron: No flash-freezer? That means no mini corn dogs!
Wade: No bite-sized goodness?
Boys: No!!
Kim: Pull yourself together and get me the down-low on this cryovator.
Wade: I have this commercial.
Commercial: ( Singing ) Are you hungry? Then dive right in. Our mini corn dogs are a man's best friend. These bite-sized doggies are sure to please. Made from Pop Pop's corny secret recipe. We flash-freeze the flavor. That's why they're guaranteed. Pop Pop Porter's mini corn dogs
Pop Pop: Flash-frozen flavor, folks.
Ron: You gotta love little corn doggie.
Kim: Yeah... Okay. We'll need a ride.
Wade: Pop Pop's on it.
Ron: Dang! That's a big little corn doggie.
Pop Pop: Here we are, little lady. The scene of the crime.
Kim: Do you smell that?
Pop Pop: Are you feeling right, son?
Ron: It's too heinous for words. I just love your product!
Pop Pop: Don't do that.
Kim: It smells so... familiar. Wade, I need an air quality analysis.
Wade: Activating olfactory sensors.
Pop Pop: The real shame is that these little doggies 'll go to waste, unless somebody eats 'em, and soon.
Ron and Rufus: Oh!
Kim: Go, Wade.
Wade: That smell? Cologne. Very expensive. Custom-blended for an exclusive clientele. Guess who's on the list.
Kim: Senor Senior, Jr.
Wade: Right.
Ron: The Senor's plan is pure evil. Wait until the world is in a mini corn dog famine, then make us pay, pay big.
Kim: Senor Senior's after something bigger than mini corn dogs.
Ron: What could be bigger than mini corn dogs?
Kim: You are such a pink sloth.
Ron: One: Animology is bogus, and two: Senior's after corn dogs.
Kim: Is not, is not. Look at this lair. He's all about big crimes.
Ron: Mini corn dogs.
Kim: Crime.
Ron: Corn dog.
Kim: Crime. Ron! Look! The cryovator.
Ron: Snack thief!
Kim: Shh! The cologne!
Kim and Ron: Whoa!
SSS: Ah, Kim Possible. And so our little game of cat and mouse goes on, eh?
Ron: Are we the cat or the mouse?
SSJ: Mouse.
Ron: But we were stalking you. That's cattish, my friend.
SSJ: This is a good point.
Kim: No, it's not.
Ron: Let the corn dogs go, Senor Senior!
SSS: Dear boy, this is not about tiny breaded sausages.
Kim: Mmm-hmm.
Ron: You blue foxes think you know everything.
SSJ: Blue fox? You study the Animology?
SSS: Oh, please, Junior. Do not start. The time has come to prove my villainous mettle. First, I will flash-freeze you.
Ron: You don't need to prove anything to us.
SSS: Well, that is very kind, but... it is part of my plan. You understand.
Kim and Ron: Whoa!
SSS: Next, I will freeze the billionaire's club from which I was so rudely ejected.
Ron: You're doing all this just to tweak some other rich guys?
SSS: Yes. Wonderful, isn't it?
Kim: You can freeze us, but there is no way Pop Pop Porter's little cryovator can freeze an entire building.
SSS: Well, actually, it's more of an island. Which is why we studied Pop Pop's cryovation technology to create... this.
Kim: That oughta do it.
Ron: Do you realize the jumbo mini corn dogs you could flash-freeze with th... Ow!
SSS: I will miss our fearsome rivalry, Kim Possible. Come, Junior. Junior!
SSJ: Father! I am the yellow trout!
Kim: No!! Junior's a yellow trout?! Gross!
Ron: KP, don't you think we have bigger problems?
Kim: My perfect match cannot be Senor Senior, Jr.
Ron: I'm sure you'll be happy together... if he can defrost you!
Kim: Rufus! Push the red button! He's too light!
Ron: Rufus! Look in my pocket. Scarf 'em!
Rufus: Ah!
Kim: Hurry, Rufus!
Rufus: Oh!
Ron: Now I'm cold.
Kim: Good little hairless rodent.
Ron: Corn dogs rock! Why can't I feel my feet? I've got foot-sicles! Maybe if I...whoa, whoa! Whoa!
Kim: We need to find something to get us to the Billionaire's club.
Ron: I think we'll manage.
Kim: If Animology says that Senor Senior, Jr.'s my soul mate, I say, forget Animology.
Ron: Done and done. Rufus!
Rufus: Whoa!
Ron: Buddy, are you all right?
Rufus: Whoo-hoo!
Philippe: Well, he knows he's not welcome here. Senor Senior, Sr. won't darken our door again.
SSS: Release the tether line, Junior. Junior!
SSJ: It says the yellow trout cares only about himself. They make that sound like a bad thing.
SSS: Activate the solar panels. Initiate freezer start-up.
Philippe: My caviar... ow!
SSS: I am revoking your club, Bouillon!
SSJ: My perfect match is the blue fox. I'd like to know this blue fox person.
Kim: Wade, what have you got?
Wade: This giant cryovator's solar-powered. No plug to pull!
Kim: So what can we do?
Wade: Destroy it?
Ron: Follow the money?
SSJ: Did we not leave Kim Possible on a conveyor belt to her doom?
SSS: Yes. A proper villain always leaves his foe when he's about to expire.
SSJ: Why?
SSS: Well, it would be bad form just to lull about, waiting for it.
SSJ: Why?
SSS: Tradition! She's really testing my patience, this Kim Possible.
Philippe: Help! Anybody?
Kim: I'll get you! Okay, this is gonna get a little warm.
Philippe: Yeow!! You wouldn't want to dash in and fetch my caviar, would you? I thought not.
Kim: Look out!
SSJ: Why did you not just aim the laser at their bodies?
SSS: Junior, if you do not understand the traditions of villainy, I have failed as a father.
Ron?s voice: You blue foxes think you know everything.
SSS: Farewell, Kim Possible. It's been, as you say, a blast!
Ron?s voice: You blue foxes... Blue foxes... Blue foxes...
SSJ: No!! You must not harm my blue fox!
Kim: Get down!
SSS: Do you understand why I am angry?
SSJ: Kim Possible, you are the blue fox. I am the yellow trout. We are meant to be. We are... soul mates!
SSS: Junior! Dating an arch foe is... spitting upon villain tradition.
SSJ: But, father!
SSS: Back to the lair with you! Tradition dictates we must begin to plot our revenge immediately!
Kim: Wow. I think my blue foxiness just saved us.
Ron: That was weird.
Kim: I guess Animology isn't all bad.
Kim: Wade?
Wade: Morning, Kim. Did you get the flowers?
Kim: Uh, yeah.
Wade: There's an e-card. I'll stream it.
SSJ: My blue fox, I count the hours until my father's criminal activities bring us near again.
Wade: That is so beautiful! Ha! Ha!
Kim: And so, yellow trout.
Ron: I don't want to hear another word about Animology! Ron Stoppable is no pink sloth!
Amelia: Whew! That's a relief. A pink sloth is supposed to be my soul mate.
Ron: Soul...?! Amelia! Wait! I'm a textbook sloth! Outcast, follower, socially inept! I smell like corn dogs! We're made for each other!