And the Molerat Will Be CGI

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By wallaceb
SSJ: Where is my Pa-Pa? I have for you a surprising surprise.
SSS: I am in the living lair my son. The Hench Co catalog arrived today. Ooo! The new mini sub is nice. Note the DVD player in the back seat.
SSJ: Father I…
SSS: Now, wait wait. Before you speak tell me. Have you done your chores?
SSJ: Clean my room? Or scout a target location for some evil deed?
SSS: The second one.
SSJ: Well, I have not only located the target via satellite, buy have assembled a team of Hench persons with which to steal it.
SSS: Well, who has taken my lazy son, and replaced him with this energetic and responsible evil doer? Tell me, what is this exciting target?
SSJ: The Tower of London. It is a big tower filled with jewels.
SSS: Yes, the crown jewels. Very good son.
SSJ: Perhaps I may keep just one jewel encrusted doodad from the tower to fund my drive to become an international teen pop sensation?
SSS: Oh take two, they’re small.
SSJ: Mysterious black choppers, follow me to… the Tower Of London.
Kim: Thanks for the lift Mr. Mural.
Mr. Mural: Least I could do after you saved my rig back there on highway 99.
Kim: Yea, 18 blowouts, what are the chances?
Ron: I don’t get it Kim. What kind of sick twisted super-villain steals the world’s largest cement swirly cone?
Kim: A not so super-villain?
Ron: Hey, let’s spin by the school with this baby, you know being known as the big swirly saver might just impress the ladies.
Kim: Which ladies?
Ron: Umm, err, the giant swirly loving ladies?
Kim: Yea.
Wade: Kim, Ron. I just intercepted a communiqué from Senior Senior Junior. I think he’s planning on stealing the tower of London.
Ron: Well, it’s not exactly the world’s largest cement swirly now is it?
Wade: Something’s not right though.
Kim: It’s Junior.
Wade: See, his target is the Tower of London.
Kim: Uh-ha.
Wade: But he’s on his way to New Zeeland.
Ron: I’ll admit that geography is but one of many subject I’ve scored a gentleman C, but isn’t…
Kim: The Tower of London in England?
SSJ: There! Up ahead our target. I can smell the diamonds and rubies now, and bangers and mash if I’m not mistaken. The encyclopedia says the jewels are kept in the building just below. Ha-ha-ha! The tower and all the shiny jewels inside are ours for the taking. Mysterious black choppers initiate operation “steal the tower of London.” That’s it, a little lower. Oh this is way too easy… white chopper? I thought we agreed that black would be our chopper color today?
Kim: You’re a little off target Jr. like 12,000 miles.
SSJ: What did she mean by that?
Kim: Thanks for the lift Mr. Huey.
Mr. Huey: What do you mean? Your friend here said you could pay cash?
Ron: Ha-Ha! Yea, um, Wade couldn’t find a ride, so I looked in the phone book. Gotta go!
Kim: I owe you a favor.
Ron: Squirrel suit rule!
SSJ: What?
Ron: Yea, knot tying is not my skill set.
Rufus: Fire! Weee!
Ron: Thanks Rufus!
Kim: Hmm?
Ron: Oh, um, err, I’m fine. Slight in gym flashbacks.
SSJ: Ah! We are all going to crash! Black choppers land in that clearing. Carefully!
Kim: Six helicopters equal one tragic hair day.
Ron: Okay Junior, finger taunt.
SSJ: And I taunt you back with… three fingers.
Ron: Ohhkay he’s tricky.
Voice: Cut! Cut! Cut!
Guy: Ok, first reaction. You ruined my shot. But upon reflection this… you kids are extreme with five “X’s” Jimmy Blamhammer, action movie maven Holly Wood USA.
Kim: How do you do Mr….
Ron: Mr. Blamhammer sir! It is an honor to meet you. I loved Violent Reaction 1 and 3, and really loved Violent Reaction 2 oh yea!
SSJ: Wait wait wait, go back. Movie maven? I’m afraid I do not understand.
Jimmy: Your little helicopter stunt almost blew over the set for my newest action heist flick “Stolen Goods 3” rated PG-13 for intense action and use of the word butt.
SSJ: So this Tower of London is a movie set?
Jimmy: I can’t use pyro on the real tower and stay under budget, so we came to New Zealand and built this replica. It looks identical to the real thing… from space.
SSJ: Yea, this is true.
Kim: Okay Junior, your move.
SSJ: Ah! Every Henchperson for himself.
Kim: Hmm.
Guy: You hiring? I can do hair and makeup.
Guy 2: I always wanted to be a stunt man.
Jimmy: Eh, see Stew in the big trailer. Wow! That maneuver you pulled up there, no wires, no digital effects, that was pure…raw... action! You are amazing! You’re incredible! You’re?
Kim: Kim Possible.
Jimmy: I love that name. New thought. My next international mega block buster “Kim Possible 1.”
Kim: Whoa, a movie, about me?
Jimmy: Come on, it’s a no brainier.
Ron: Was that a shot?
Jimmy: You hut the tween sweet spot. Ordinary girl, extraordinary circumstances. It’s what’s happening now.
Ron: I don’t know if I would call Kim ordinary.
Jimmy: What about you?
Ron: Me? Oh yea, I’m more ordinary than anyone. Extraordinary even.
Jimmy: Alright you’re in. The movie will be about the both of you.
Ron: So we get to play ourselves?
Jimmy: Ah, that’s funny. No really, you two will be played by the hottest stars in Holly Wood.
Kim: Hmm, like um… who?
Jimmy: I’m thinking Heather and Quinn.
Kim: The Heather, and the Quinn? No way!
Ron: But aren’t they a little old to play us?
Jimmy: Haven’t you heard the expression “act your age?”
Ron: But they’re 28.
Jimmy: What sis I say? They’ll be acting your age. Not their age. See? It’s Holly Wood magic!
Rufus: Hello?
Jimmy: And the Mole Rat will be CGI, that way he can talk.
Rufus: Hey.
Jimmy: I’ll have Heather and Quinn live with you for a week. Learn the way you walk, the way you talk, really get a handle on your characters. Good? Great!
Kim: Heather as me! This is too weird.
Ron: Oh sure, you get hottie Heather, I get quite Quinn. There’s no way he can capture my Ronness. He’s a mope.
Kim: He’s an actor Ron; he’s mopie when he plays a mopie character. I’m sure he can capture your Ronness.
Ron: It’s not as easy as it looks you know.
Mr. Dr P: A simple toot of the horn would have sufficed.
Mrs. Dr P: Is everyone alright?
Jimmy: Don’t worry its special effects.
Kim: Heather, I’m beyond excited to meat you. Your life is totally amazing.
Heather: Kim, I’m totally beyond excited to meet you. Your life is totally amazing.
Kim: I love what you’re wearing.
Heather: And I love what you’re wearing.
Kim: Really?
Heather: Really.
Ron: That… is… Heather! Standing right there in Kim’s driveway talking with words! Can you stand it? Hello? Anybody home?
Quinn: Whatever.
Ron: See mopie.
Mrs. Dr P: They seem nice.
Mr. Dr P: Hun, you know how I feel about show folk.
Mrs. Dr P: Oh, they are just like you or me. Except they’re beautiful wealthy and live by no recognizable moral code.
Jim: You see what I see?
Tim: A celebrity moving into our house!
Jim: Not any celebrity, Heather! Anything Heather touches brings big bucks online.
Both: Cha-ching!
Jimmy: Ok, so what is it that you kids do around this time of day?
Kim: Well, we are just about to go to school.
Jimmy: Fantastic! Heather, Quinn, you’re going to school just like real people.
Heather: This will be so great. I’ve never really done any school things. I’ve learned everything I know from on set teacher thingy people.
Kim: You... you mean tutors?
Heather: Yes!
Ron: Um… Quinn, did you go to regular school?
Quinn: Whatever.
Ron: Is that a yes or a no?
Jimmy: Hop in everybody I’ll drive you to school on my way out of town. Here’s a release form allowing your kid to ride with me. Just sign it and fax it to the car. I got extra helmets in the back.
Mr. Dr P: Show folk.
SSS: Junior, you are being punished. By watching the robot clean the pool you are to not enjoy any show biz trade papers.
SSJ: But, but, but father I have just read the most disturbing news. They are making a Kim Possible movie!
SSS: Wonderful, we ca watch it in our private screening lair.
SSJ: You do not understand, I was there when she was discovered. I should be in this movie. This film should be my big break! I will be cast in that picture!
Kim: Okay, if this is going to work you guys have to blend in as regular kids.
Heather: My greatest acting challenge ever.
Quinn: Whatever.
Ron: Ok, see? That is what I am talking about. If Ron Stoppable was trying to blend in, Ron Stoppable would throw himself into it 110 percent.
Quinn: Whatever.
Ron: Come on man, Ron it up!
Kim: Ron it down.
Barkin: Tail of Two Cities, an important book, what do you think? Charlie Dickens accomplished literary fellow, can any one tell me about Chuck’s use of the first person in the book? How about Possible?
Kim: Um… I hade a mission in New Zealand so I um, um didn’t get to read it actually.
Barkin: Well that’s points off your grade, actually. Yes, new girl with her hand up.
Heather: Yea, I was in a made for TV version of a Christmas Carol which is in the book you’re talking about, but I think that Dickens guy was involved. He may have been like a producer or something?
Barkin: And you are?
Bonnie: It’s Heather!
Monique: The Heather!?
Kim: We’re going to have to move on from blending in.
Heather: To what?
Kim: Running and hiding.
Monique: They disappeared.
Bonnie: Typical Possible, a movie star comes to our school, and she has to hog all the glamour for herself.
Kim: Lost ‘em.
Heather: So not the drama.
Kim: Um… right.
Guy: I hear the girls were all wild about some movie star or something.
Quinn: Whatever.
Guy: Yea, whatever.
Ron: See, you’re not just an actor Mr. you’re a roll model, a trendsetter.
Quinn: Whatever.
Ron: Can you believe this guy?
Rufus: Whatever.
Ron: I will not rest until you find your inner Ron.
Quinn: Wha…
Ron: Hey, dare to care.
Heather: Okay, we made it out. Here’s our next move.
Kim: Excuse me but… usually I decide what the next move is.
Heather: Right, it’s kinda a teen hero thing.
Kim: Oh, your being me, ha-ha… great.
Heather: I’m thinking mall.
Kim: Wow, that’s what I was thinking.
Bonnie: You sure she’ll come?
Monique: I just put out some new Capri’s.
Bonnie: Please, she’s got a closet full already.
Monique: Kim has periwinkle and olive. This is our newest color. Guava.
Kim and Heather: I love them!
Monique: Who’s the girl?
Bonnie: You are. Hi Kim. You know I feel like we hardly ever get to hang out. Just us girls.
Kim: Fine.
Heather: So then what happened Monique?
Monique: Well this boy was in my face and I told him quit packing and start backing off.
Heather: Girl I totally know what you are saying. I had this man who would not leave me alone, he was practically stalking me.
Monique: Get out!
Heather: I won’t! If he hadn’t been my husband it would have been creepy.
Bonnie: Your teeth are like totally the whitest teeth I’ve like ever seen.
Heather: It is so cool of you to notice. I had this goop put on them and a purple light shined on them or what ever.
Bonnie: No way! I so wanna try that but my mother says it is way too expensive.
Heather: No way! That’s what y agent said.
Monique: She’s good.
Kim: Yea, little miss perfect.
Ron: This is it. If this doesn’t get you on the path to ronhood nothin’ will. The entire Bueno Nacho menu board is here and its all grande sized.
Rufus: Hey.
Ron: Sorry Rufus, this snackage is not for eating, it’s for teaching. Quinn dig in.
Quinn: Whatever.
Ron: And?
Quinn: Whatever.
Ron: Oh! What kind of unfeeling robot are you?! Go ahead whatever. No!
Guy: Hey Mr. Blamhammer.
Jimmy: Keep it close I’m a fast eater.
Guy: Senior Senior Junior.
SSS: Wait, it says here you know how to fence? This I did not know.
SSJ: It is a tincy white lie father.
SSS: Still, it is a lie, and that is a start on the road to evil.
SSJ: Oh! A trendy eatery. No doubt brimming over with dreamers and schemers and the power elite.
Jimmy: Nothing speaks to me. What’s the special? Well well, what have we here? Special skills… fencing! Liar!
SSJ: NO! NO! NO!
SSS: Careful Junior. Whoa!!
Mrs. Dr P: Dear have you seen the guest towels?
Mr. Dr P: Did you ask our guests?
Mrs. Dr P: Yes, Heather is as baffled as I am.
Mr. Dr P: Show folk, humph, can’t trust ‘em. Now where is my diet soda?
Jim: Told you our Heather memorabilia would sell out fast.
Tim: We need more. Print me out another certificate of authenticity. This time for half a can of Heather’s favorite diet soda. Cha-ching!
Kim: Monique, I’m fighting off a freak out. This Heather as Kim thing is bordering on weird.
Monique: Girl, it crossed the border days ago. She told me she’s been using your tooth brush at home.
Kim: Ew, thanks for that.
Monique: Well, listen, the girl didn’t go to a regular school so you know she didn’t cheer. That is something you can do that movie Kim definitely cannot.
Kim: Yea, for once she’ll just have to sit back and watch. What?!
Bonnie: So Heather, on behalf of the squad, I was wondering if you wanted to lead practice today?
Heather: Please and thank you.
Kim: But she’s never cheered.
Bonnie: Don’t you read the tabs? She trains with like the hottest Yoga instructor in LA. She can handle it.
Heather: It’s no…
Kim: Big! I know!
Jimmy: Ahh! Whose there? What do you want?
SSJ: Mr. Jimmy, so sorry to commandeer your satellite dish, but I must speak with you.
Jimmy: No approach seems stranger and criminal, but you’ve got my attention.
SSJ: I insist that you cast me as the villain in your picture. To that end I will perform my monologue rendition of the emotional soliloquy from the martial arts classic Fists of Pain.
Jimmy: You just lost my attention. Audition over.
SSJ: Oh father, this business is so cruel.
SSS: Then we must be crueler still.
Jimmy: I am not loving this. Not one bit. Go! Wrong phone. Go! Oh! The micro mini cell implanted in my brain. Go!
Heather: Jimmy, I am so ready for the shoot.
Jimmy: Beautiful. And Quinn?
Quinn: Whatever.
Jimmy: Wow, he is a chameleon.
Heather: The research really helped.
Jimmy: I want you two on the next plane out of there.
Quinn: Whatever.
Jimmy: Tell Quinn to cut that out. His transformation is freaking with my head. See ya on the set. Places everyone. Action!
Heather: Can we hold the roll for a sec? I feel like a carrot stick. Thanks guys, take me back.
Jimmy: And action!
Heather: Hello Ron! Are you ready for the big pep rally this afternoon?
Quinn: Whatever.
SSJ: Cut! Cut, cut, cut, cut!
Jimmy: Did I say cut? Who cut?
SSJ: I am the one said cut.
Jimmy: What the? The grips are yelling cut now.
SSJ: I am no “grip” I am Senior Senior Junior. And I demand that you cast me as the villain in this picture.
Jimmy: Look, we’ve got a villain. Now, we are shooting back to back sequels. Just have your agent contact…
SSJ: No! No, you will do this Jimmy Blamhammer, or else.
Kim: I thought it would be so fun to have Heather be me… wrong.
Ron: Well better than having Quinn be not at all me!
Kim: The whole thing about a Kim Possible movie.
Ron: Holly weird of you ask me.
Kim: Well, we’ve done our part.
Ron: Yea right, we’re free and clear.
Kim: Go Wade.
Wade: Who’s up for a trip to Holly Wood?
Jimmy: I own this town, you can’t threaten me punk!
SSJ: I am not. I intend to threaten this… your personal digital assistant.
Jimmy: But, all of my phone numbers are in there, all my lunch dates, all my dinner dates! NOO!! Movie Kim, Movie Ron, stop this mad man!
Heather: Wait, is that in our deal?
Quinn: Whatever.
Heather: Okay, but let’s make sure we are rolling on this people.
SSJ: Henchpersons? A little help?
Heather: I’m totally stuck! Guys? Quinn do something!
Quinn: Whatever.
SSJ: Bring it!
Jimmy: CGI Rufus, attack!
CGI Rufus: I’m on it Mr. Man. But ‘em up!
SSJ: What is this now I am hearing?
CGI Rufus: Hi-ya! Hi-ya! Rufus power!
SSJ: Very entertaining.
CGI Rufus: Hi-ya!
SSJ: But isn’t the mole rat usually naked?
Jimmy: Hey hey, it’s a family action picture.
SSJ: Enough! I want the contract and I want it now!
Jimmy: Alright, hold your henchman, I’ll get legal on the horn.
Ron: Whoa! Uncanny recreation! Hey my missing algebra homework!
SSJ: What have we here? Stunt doubles for Heather and Quinn who will now try to foil my career plans?
Jimmy: No, I think they are the real deal.
SSJ: Oh yes, you are right. Stop them! Ah!
Ron: Authentic right down to the gun under the fountain.
Heather and Kim: Thanks.
Ron: Whoa! Comical side kick takes out big scary dude ah take one! Boo-ya!
Quinn: Whoa!
Kim: People, that’s a wrap.
Ron: Oh don’t go Holly Wood on me KP.
SSJ: Not so fast. This good guys win thing just doesn’t work for me.
Quinn: Boo-ya!
Ron: He’s a natural.
SSJ: It’s just too difficult to break into this business we call show. Farewell Holly Wood.
Heather: Thanks Kim. I know it took a lot for you to come and save the day after I got all over your last nerve.
Kim: No big. Look for what it’s worth I think you’ll be a great Kim.
Heather: Oh, I know I will be. But it means so much to me that you said that.
Ron: Yea, but my man Quinn here he really got the meathody Ronness down, and the reward goes to… him as me!
Quinn: Boo-ya!
Ron: Okay, don’t wear it out.
Jimmy: Listen up people. We’re shutting down production.
Kim: What?
Heather: What?
Ron: What?
Quinn: Boo-ya?
Jimmy: I’m on to the next big thing.
Kim: What’s that?
Jimmy: Monkey Ninjas in Space!
Kim: Been there…
Ron: Done that.
SSS: My son?
SSJ: No my son father, you’re blocking it.
SSS: I understand you are most disappointed that your Holly Wood dreams have been dashed.
SSJ: True. But I have bought a piece of Holly Wood for myself.
SSS: What is that?
SSJ: Half a can of diet soda and a guest towel personally used by Heather!