All The News

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Kim: Huh?
Ron: Don't touch that! No offence, KP, but that's very sensitive material.
Kim: Really?
Rufus: Hmm.
Ron: It's a story I'm writing for the school paper. Hard-hitting stuff.
Kim: You're not on the paper, Ron. They keep turning you down. No offence.
Ron: This is gonna turn them around. It's an edge expose I call...
Editor: "Math, you'll never actually use it in the real world.”
Ron: I'm already working on a follow-up piece on semicolons.
Editor: Ron! News desk. No comment is totally unacceptable. I don't care if she is the principal and your mother, I want that story! You're giving me nothing here, Stoppable! Where's the edge? The angle? You wanna get on the paper?
Ron: Uh-huh.
Editor: Write a story that makes me care.
Ron: I'll do it. I'm a born reporter. I can smell a story a mile away. ...Maybe Kim has an idea.
Girls: Middleton is H-O-T! Middleton is hot! Go, Dogs!
Kim: Good one, you guys. Take five.
Ron: Help me out, KP. I need an angle.
Kim: Why ask me? You're the born reporter.
Ron: Ohh! OK, OK, Which one of you guys is failing a class but still playing in this weekend's game? Oh, c'mon, one of you has to be failing at something. Whoa! I've got my story. Football team full of nice, great guys who are not failing anything. Ohh!
Brick: Hey...
Kim: Um, hey, Brick.
Brick: Er, nice outfit.
Kim: Thanks. It's, er, my size.
Brick: You know, I think what you do is really amazing.
Kim: Oh saving the world is no big.
Brick: I mean how you always spelling stuff in your cheers. It's so... C-O-O-L!...That's cool, right?
Kim: Why are you looking at me like that?
Ron: Cos I've found my story. I'm gonna interview you! The Kim Possible!
Kim: Since when does my name have a "The" in front of it?
Ron: And Kim, I won't accept anything less than the hard-hitting truth.
TV: Tonight, one extreme teen will go into the woods alone. No food, no water, no human contact. Handcuffed to a bear.

Adrena Lynn: That teen is me! Freaky!!
Kim: At least the bear won't go hungry.
TV: And now, Adrena Lynn answers the question the whole country is asking.
All but Kim: What will she do next?
Kim: I thought you came over to interview me?
Ron: At the commercial. Got any chips?
TV: Next, Adrena Lynn and the bear go fishing for their lives!
Boys: Kim!
Kim: This show is a mind-numbing waste of satellite frequencies.
Ron: You're right. Besides, I'm taping it at home.
Kim: Some kid's gonna get hurt trying to imitate that girl's stunts.
Tim: Hey, let's see if we can sneak into the bear cage at the zoo, like Adrena Lynn!
Jim: Cool!
Tim: Here, tie this steak on.
Jim: Super cool!
Tim: Hoo-sha!
Ron: Aren't you gonna stop them?
Kim: The zoo's locked this time of night. Alright, let's get this hard-hitting interview over with.
Ron: So, what's it like to be you?
Adrena Lynn: Ratings are up, merchandise sales are up!
Camera man: Hm mm, Copycat incidences are up, too.
Adrena Lynn: It means they're watching. Not my fault if the little dweebs aren't careful.
Camera man: Maybe they don't getting you fake the stunts?
Adrena Lynn: Whatever. The point is if we're to stay on top, the next stunt must be bigger, more extreme!
Camera man: Like what?
Adrena Lynn: I'm thinking bungee. Freaky!
Kim: "I'm not so different from anyone else, except that, you know, I have an arch foe or two."
Rufus: Nah.
Ron: You're right. After watching Adrena Lynn wrestle a bear, Kim kinda pales in comparison.
Kim: "Sure I'm busy, but what teenage girl isn't?"
Ron: Boring! Where's the angle?
Kim: "It feels good to help people."
Ron: Argh!
Kim: “We have an awesome team this year. Brick Flagg was totally hot in last week's game."
Ron: Hmm?
Kim: "Brick Flagg was totally hot..." "Totally hot..." "Totally hot..." "Totally hot..."
Ron: Houston, the angle has landed.
Rufus: Whoa!
Bonnie: Kim, I think it is so great what you did.
Kim: Which was?
Bonnie: I mean to risk utter embarrassment and total rejection like that.
Kim: "Cheer leader Kim Possible thinks quarterback Brick Flagg is H.O.T. hot. By Ron Stoppable"?!
Bonnie: We'll totally be here for you when he dumps you.
Brick: So, Kim, you think I'm hot.
Kim: Actually, what I think I said was...
Brick: Cool. What are you doing Friday night?
Kim: Nothing. I mean nothing with you.
Brick: Pick you up at eight?
Kim: I, er...
Brick: Hey, she thinks I'm hot.
Kim: So, I think Brick Flagg is hot?!
Girl: It's true. She just said it herself.
Ron: Did you see it? My name in lights? Well, in ink actually, but still.
Kim: Ron, you ferociously misquoted me!
Ron: Whoa. I may have done a tiny bit of rephrasing but, come on; you'd think a crime-fighting cheerleader would give a more interesting interview. The paper liked my story so much to giving me a column.
Ron: I'll have an omelet, whites only. She must not know who I am.
Kim: I'm not sure I know who you are.
Ron: So I'm thinking I should cover the big date with the Brickster. What time should I be ready?
Bonnie: Ron, you're sitting with us.
Amelia: I'm having a little get-together tonight. No biggie, just 50 of my closest friends. You have to do a write-up for the paper.
Ron: I do?
Bonnie: How else will social outcasts know what they've missed?
Ron: You could invite them.
Bonnie: You are so funny!
Ron: Check you later, KP. Duty calls.
Brick: Hey, Kim, nice lunch.
Kim: Um, thanks. Listen, I'm glad you're here.
Brick: I'm glad I'm here too.
Kim: No, no. I mean about Friday night. I'm just not sure if...
Brick: If we should do dinner or a movie? I had the same debate.
Then it hit me. Hot dogs at the theatre.
Kim: Save me!
Wade: Kim.
Brick: Hey, you're Kim's computer dude.
Wade: And you're that "Kim thinks you're hot" dude.
Brick: Yea, yea, that's me.
Kim: Excuse me, er, Brick, I have to go.
Brick: See you Friday.
Wade: He seems nice.
Kim: OK, spit it out, computer dude.
Wade: Hey, you got an IM. Pop-Pop Porter, the frozen food king, he needs your help. Apparently, he's been robbed.
Ron: I smell a scoop!
Ron: Hey!
Kim: What was stolen?
Porter: My Pop-Pop popcorn shrimp.
Kim: Pop-Pop, you brought us out here because someone stole a crustacean? I don't get it.
Porter: Shrimp Force One was my favorite!
Ron: A blimp? Should be easy enough to spot.
Kim: Wade, do a search of UFO sights.
Wade: What am I looking for?
Kim: Anything about Earth being invaded by giant sea creatures.
Wade: Let's see. Giant pig in Belize. Pterodactyl in Pittsburgh. Wait! I got it! Giant shrimp attacks. New York City. On target, Kim. I'm tracking the blimp to just around the corner.
Voice: What?! What?!
Kim: I know that voice.
Ron: Adrena Lynn!
Voice: What...
All: Will she do next?!
Ron: What a story! Adrena Lynn is a real hero.
Kim: Ron, she stole that blimp.
Ron: This is art, KP. Sacrifices must be made.
Adrena Lynn: Tonight I'll attempt the ultimate in extreme action! I will bungee jump from this blimp! Blindfolded! Freaky!
Kim: Gotcha! Huh? OK, that's really annoying.
Adrena Lynn: Freaky!
TV guy: She's OK!
Ron: She made it! Rufus, my friend, guess who got a front-page photo?
Rufus: You?
TV guy: How does she do it?
Ron: Oh, no, it can't be! It was just a dummy. She didn't even fall.
Kim: Ron, get over it, already.
Ron: Sorry, KP, but discovering that your action hero is a big fake is not something you just get over.
Kim: And this from a wrestling fan?
Ron: I don't get the connection.
Wade: Looks like Pop-Pop Porter got so much publicity; he's not pressing charges for the blimp theft.
Ron: She's getting away with it?
Wade: Well, I was able to highlight the key areas on that photo file.
Ron: She calls herself extreme. The big fake!
Kim: Imagine that. Lying to the public just to build up your own reputation.
Ron: Disgusting! Well, Adrena Lynn might get a pass from Pop-Pop, but Ron Stoppable smells a story.
Tricia: ( on TV ) And, in our top story, Ron Stoppable, of the Middleton High newspaper, reports that extreme teen Adrena Lynn is an extreme fake.
Ron: I'm in the paper, too. I'm national, baby!
Kim: "Ace reporter Ron Stoppable, heralded for breaking the story of TV fake. Adrena Lynn's ratings plummet faster than her fake fall." Can this get any more annoying? What up, Wade?
Wade: It's your brothers.
Kim: You were doing what?!
Jim: Bungee jumping out of a blimp, like Adrena Lynn.
Tim: Only we didn't have a blimp, so we used the roof.
Jim: And we didn't have a bungee cord so used yarn.
Mr. Dr P: That Adrena Lynn is a menace!
Mrs. Dr P: She didn't really bungee jump out of a blimp. Don't you boys watch the news?
Jim: No. The only show we watch is Adrena Lynn. Hey, it's time!
TV: And reports that Adrena Lynn is a fake, coupled with the rash of copycat stunts across the country...
Tim: That's us!
Jim: Ow!
TV: ...has prompted this network to cancelled Adrena Lynn in favor of more responsible programming.
TV: So stay tuned for an extra hour of Stuff On Fire!
Kim: Excellent. Now I can focus on the looming disaster in my social life.
Girls: Hit to the left, hit to the right, stand and slide!
Kim: Who's gonna win against East Side? Who? Who?
Ron: Looking good, KP. Oh, don't worry, baby. I'm not gonna forget about little people who got me who I am today. I'll be there Friday night to cover your date with Brick. Yeah!
Brick: Cool. Our date's gonna be, like, newsworthy.
Kim: Brick, wait! We need to talk.
Brick: Did you just say "we need to talk"? That's exactly what Amelia said last year when she dumped me. I mean, when we, you know, broke up.
Kim: Well, you can't really call it breaking up if we haven't even...
Brick: I was a wreck. I totally blew it in the big game against East Side. So, what did you wanna talk to me about?
Kim: Just that... I can't wait for Friday either.
Brick: Cool.
Kim: I am so toast.
Adrena Lynn: She is so toast! Roll the camera!
Camera man: Hello, Lynn, we've been cancelled!
Adrena Lynn: We're not cancelled until I say we're cancelled! A lonely highway, a desperate mission. Tonight I will pull my greatest stunt yet. Revenge against Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable! How's that for a teaser?
Camera man: Good. It'd be better if we had an audience.
Adrena Lynn: Oh, we will.
Kim: Hello?
Wade: Kim, Wade. Sorry to use a land line but the communicator satellite is down.
Kim: What's the sitch?
Wade: It's not just the Kimmunicator. Video signals all over the world are getting messed up.
Mr. Dr P: Darn TV!
Tim: Whack it again, Dad! You have to make it work. What good having a broken leg if you can't watch TV all day?
Mrs. Dr P: Maybe this is a good thing. We can have quality family time.
Jim: Dad, please!
Tim: You're rocket scientist. Can't you do something?
Mr. Dr P: Well, I could put it in geosynchronous orbit, but I'm not sure how that would help.
Mrs. Dr P: Oh, Kimmie, your boyfriend called while you were out.
Kim: He's not my boyfriend!
Mrs. Dr P: That's not what Ron said on the Ron Report.
Kim: Ugh!
Mrs. Dr P: Is something wrong, honey?
Mr. Dr P: You have our undivided attention. The TV's broken.
Kim: Ron made up a story about me liking the quarter back, and now I'm stuck dating him or we'll lose the big game. Meanwhile, there's a worldwide satellite crisis.
Mrs. Dr P: Kimmie, you have to be honest with Brick. If the football team loses, it's not your fault. I can't help you with the satellite thing.
Jim: Er, I don't think you have to worry about dating Brick tonight.
Brick: ( on TV ) Hey, I thought you said Kim wanted to meet me here.
Adrena Lynn: She'll be here.
Tweebs: Adrena Lynn!
Mr. Dr P: Hmm, I thought she was cancelled.
Kim: Well, I think we know who's jamming the satellite transmissions. Wade?
Adrena Lynn: Tonight, Ron Stoppable, Kim Possible versus me in Extreme Combat! And, to raise the takes, I have Kim's boyfriend.
Kim: He is not my boyfriend! Hmph! Don't worry, I'm going.
Ron: Kim, the only thing down this road is the old Middleton fairground.
Kim: That, and Adrena Lynn.
Ron: That place is haunted. Plus, I lost ten bucks trying to win a stuffed hippo.
Kim: Too bad, Ron. If it weren't for you and your stories, we wouldn't be here.
Ron: This place gives me the creeps. Argh!
Rufus: Creepy!
Ron: Argh!
Adrena Lynn: High school quarterback, Brick Flagg, takes the ride of his life! And only one person can save him! His beloved girlfriend, Kim Possible!
Ron: And me.
Kim: Drop the dramatics, Adrena Lynn. This isn't a game!
Adrena Lynn: Exactly. It's real, it's extreme, and it's freaky! The clock's ticking.
Kim: Come on, Ron.
Kim and Ron: whoa! Whoa!

Adrena Lynn: Freaky! Gee, I wonder how the quarterback is doing?
Kim and Ron: whoa! Whoa!
Kim: Look out, Ron!
Ron: Whoa!
Adrena Lynn: Kim, playing games when poor Brick is hurtling towards his doom. What kind of girlfriend are you?
Mr. Dr P: That girl doesn't play fair.
Mrs. Dr P: Come on, Kimmie, show 'em what you got!
Tim: Go get her, Adrena Lynn!
Mr. Dr P: Jim, Tim, There'll be no rooting for your sister's foe!
Ron: Kim! No, please, this ride always makes me throw up! Argh! ...Kim! ...Kim! ...Kim! Whoa! Ahhhh!
Adrena Lynn: Oh, that move's gonna cost you!
Kim: Ooh!
Adrena Lynn: The quarter back's almost out of time and you're going the wrong way.
Ron: Adrena Lynn, you can not do this!
Adrena Lynn: And why not?
Ron: I'm the one responsible for you've been cancelled. I called you a fake.
Brick: What?
Ron: I guess takes one to know one. I made up that stuff about Kim liking Brick just to sell my story.
Brick: Oh, harsh!
Ron: It works, kind of, but the thing is the fake part about you is what people like, what good is that?
Adrena Lynn: You're right.
Ron: From now on I'm keeping it real.
Adrena Lynn: Me, too. Starting with my very real defeat of Kim Possible!
Ron: OK, that didn't work.
Kim: Let's see. What will I do next?
Adrena Lynn: I do extreme stunts for a living. You think I'm afraid of heights?
Kim: You fake extreme stunts. Let the world see how brave you are when there's real danger. Not so extreme after all now, are you? Are you?!
Adrena Lynn: No.
Tweebs: Now she tells us!
Kim: Listen, I'm sorry you almost plunged to your death on worldwide television...
Brick: Kim, stop. I get it now.
Kim: You do?
Brick: Sure. You had that skinny guy expose Adrena Lynn so she'd freak out and set this whole "save Brick" thing just to prove you dug me. Kim, you're nice but you try too hard. If you'd just asked me out, that's cool, but this is too much. I'm sorry, but it's over.
Ron: I can't believe it!
Kim: I know!
Ron: Headline. Quarterback sacks Kim Possible! She has a dislocated heart and will be out for the remains of the season!
Kim: Thank you.



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